I don’t know about you but last night’s full moon had a pretty intense effect on me. Symbolically standing in its reflection cast shadows so long they appeared to take on a life of their own and began dancing what I can only describe as a pre-ceremonial ritual before they decided to devour me completely. Of course I’m here to tell the tale and the shadows faded with the rising of the sun, reminding me that the terrifying spectacle was a play put on by my inner demons to take advantage of current uncertainties and exasperated by the powerful pull of the moon goddess.
I stood as witness to the darkness battling with the light, I took sides momentarily before pulling myself back from the fight, I chose the opposite side and rejoined the fracas before once again withdrawing to observe from a neutral perspective, knowing that the fight wasn’t real, the demons weren’t real, the shadows were merely emotions fuelled by fears and insecurities, and I knew that to quiet the inner raging storm one need only remember the storm only exists within a story… and I am the story teller.
So this morning I began another story: temple, castle or wide open road?
It’s a story about choice and the environments in which I might play out new roles and wear new masks. Each of us has carved out a reality for ourselves that seems fixed. It holds within its structure a balance of light and dark but the energy can become static or stagnant, it can sway too far into darkness or too far into blinding light, and the reality you fooled yourself into believing was an immutable backdrop at that point becomes uncomfortable… staying longer could become intolerable. This is the moment where change is necessary, nay, inevitable.
So the temple… The place of retreat, reverence, contemplation, solace and potential isolation. The home of The Hermit or The High Priestess.
Or the castle… The playground of Kings, Queens and Grail Knights. Where nobles hold court and feast. Defensible and removed from the likes of those who might oppose but welcoming of those who might pledge fealty to the realm.
Or the open road… A Fool’s journey into unknown territory with nothing but the sum total of her/his past experience (which on this leg of unmapped terrain adds up to not much at all). Heading for adventure? Danger? New found understanding?
The idea is this: as I write the next chapter of my own story do I write what I know, what I believe I want to invite into my life, or do I step forward into the unknown and just document the trip?
One thing is for sure: the shadows are sure to live in every story I write just to provide texture, tension and drama… and so I must remain ever watchful of who in me is writing the story. Today it is the priestess reflecting on the storm from the safety of the temple… I don’t yet know who I will be tomorrow.
More later… x