Tag Archives: Wholly Grail

Are We Desperately Seeking Permission (To Just Be)?

There’s this invisible force that pushes each of us forward. It’s an imaginary force that perpetuates an internal fear. It sounds like the voice of responsibility and authority and berates each of us for not being good enough, fast enough, bright enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, useful enough… enough. We are continually listening out for that voice to praise us, praise that the voice is incapable of giving because it knows only “less than” or “lacking.” It’s mantra is born of comparison and competition. Are we desperately seeking permission? Permission to just be?

I’ve been in conversation with this authoritarian inner voice in the last couple of days. I say conversation but admittedly it’s hard to have a conversation with someone who believes you are wrong and they are right, it’s a direct violation of Principle 4: I AM Truth, and in opposition to my last post (which is still inspiring me today). The conversation wasn’t about arguing the toss with my archetypal Victorian Headmaster, more about trying to establish who the voice was within me… (can I just point out at this juncture that my shadow work doesn’t imply multiple personality disorder and is part of my Grail Quest to know myself better. All aspects of Self).

So this voice then: the Whip-Cracker, The Chastiser, The Destroyer of Daydreams… where does this draconian nemesis stem from? To understand further I had to delve into my fear of consequences: “If you don’t achieve this, then that will happen,” is how the dialogue goes.  But is that really true?

Now asking that question the voice took on a different texture, that of the victim… The Victim of Consequences… so I told the victim a story that captured her attention enough to listen. You see all my inner archetypes love stories, that is who I am at my core: a storyteller. And my stories are powerful, so powerful in fact that I believe them (we all do)… I believe the stories I tell myself about who I am and who I’m not, how well I’m doing or not doing, what’s expected of me or not, what belongs to me or not, etc. This story though, this was the story of all stories, it was the story about the crack in the universe… maybe I’ll tell it to you another time if you’re very good (and only you can decide if you are by listening to your own stories)… After hearing the story, my Victim of Consequences understood that beyond all other consequences, believing in an authority greater than your own brings the worst consequence of all.

In that moment the victim was swallowed by the story and dragged helplessly through that crack in the universe, the headmaster was silenced until further notice and the daydreamer, no longer needing permission, stared out beyond the crack allowing the storyteller access to infinite new stories available when the mood takes her to unravel them for all of us.

What is the greatest consequence of all?

For each of you it will be different: your health, your happiness, your vitality, a wasted life… for me its the ability to believe in my own story… and when my storyteller has the attention of all my inner archetypes, oh you should see how spellbinding she can be… The story is captivating, it’s a Grail Quest filled with adventure, love, laughter, wisdom and wonder… and it can’t help but have a happy ending.

Give yourself permission for all of that. Be.

More later… x

What If I Told You Everything Is All Right?

Resist the temptation to correct my spelling for a moment and instead allow the title to fully sink in. It’s not just alright, everything is all right.

Listening to an inspirational teacher yesterday afternoon as I sometimes do as part of my “getting my groove back” rituals, I heard the really ordinary platitude with a pause in the wrong place or the emphasis on the wrong syllable or whatever the correct term might be… she literally said everything is all right instead of alright. It’s the same thing, it comes from the same root and has the same intention behind it but somehow over time ‘alright’ has been relegated to that thing you say when someone is struggling, usually preceded by “there, there” and it isn’t always helpful.

How different it sounded to put a break between what was now two definite words.

For me it was like a switch being flipped inside my head and my perception filters turned up to full brightness as I reconciled any discomfort with what didn’t seem to be glowing in my life, and I suddenly began to see everything as perfect. At an imperceptible level when feeling other than enlightened, that wisdom exists but it’s easy to lose sight of it in the darkness. That’s all right too.

In the split second it took to hear that skew-syntax or cock-eyed cadence in the teachers speech, I had gone from deep gloom to focused determination and felt like the clouds parted and the sun started shining just for me. Where I haven’t felt in a while like everything was alright, I knew in that moment that everything is always right, even when it’s wrong. The notion of which is the most comforted I’ve felt in a long time and I knew that my connection to Source had been restored, my connection to me was re-established and the voice of Big G as I like to call Him/Her/It, was reminding me that I’m never actually off the path… I might get turned around a bit, I might be disoriented at times and retracing my own steps but that too is a part of the bigger plan. It’s like when you trip up in public and then get up and say “I meant to do that.” How can it be any other way if it was always the plan even if your localised human self wasn’t aware of it?

There is still dissonance in my orbit, still tainted nectar in my Grail chalice and where I once felt loving there is still irritation, but I took several aspects of my third dimensional life today and sorted through them knowing each was a perfect representation of what was causing dissension, and none of them were wrong… in fact they were all right. Knowing this has empowered me to let go of resistance and start moving each one towards resolution. That and a quick round of beginners Tai chi (being totally irreverent, non-PC and slight smutty with my names for each of the forms so I can remember them) and I feel positively chipper!

It’s not yet alright… but it’s all right. Simply put: “All is as it should be.”

Principle 4: I AM Truth… I hope that wasn’t too confusing?

More later… x

 

Monday Mind Manoeuvre – Casting Call

Did you get chance to read the free oracle on Saturday? It was all about the truth surfacing during dreamstate. I mention it now because I just awoke from a particularly poignant dream full of clues as to what needs to change in order for me to get the best out of this ride. It was like a casting call…

Finding myself at a television studio where senior students are about to begin rehearsing their single focus for the semester, I’m handed a script. The script is a hefty chunk of stapled A4 complete with photos of the original storyline, it’s split into 5 sections which I’m confused as to which order they come in… I don’t recognise the title, I don’t have a clue what the story is about and everyone around me seems to know the script and is preparing for the first rehearsal… and by the way, I have to deliver the news live at 6pm but I have to write it first… and its 2.30pm now and I have to first read the synopsis of the play before rehearsal…its ok, I’ll talk about hurricane Ophelia, that’s news isn’t it? The weather?… Now the list of roles is interesting because on the script notes the director has decided that I have to play the character in the style of another character who I am aware of but don’t know much about, from a tv series I don’t watch. So I flick to see what part in the play this character has and I’m not even playing the leading role… trying desperately to at least read the first paragraph of the introduction I keep getting disturbed by all the other happenings around the studio and the other students who have obviously had a head start with the script which to me may as well have been written in Russian by some apparently award winning art-house writer whose name I can’t pronounce or even spell…

Interesting dream eh?

The truth isn’t hidden here at all but I’ll put its basics a bit more clearly in case they are of help to any of you:

  • Who is writing your life story?
  • Are you the leading role in your story?
  • Are you expected to play a character (whose playing a character) or be your authentic self?
  • Do you know what your story is about and how you want it to go?
  • Are distractions deterring you from your main focus?
  • Are you delivering “the weather report” instead of the news because you’re short on time and/or inspiration?
  • Are there too many parts to the story and does it need simplifying?
  • Whose in control of your life?

…And the last one for me was the feeling that I didn’t know any of the players. In the dream the other students were all strangers and I just didn’t feel like I belonged. Having a soul family, a supporting cast, is paramount to a successful story: life story, that is.

Wow, looks like I’ve got some work to do! I have no intention of delivering the weather while “rehearsing” for a play I don’t know and don’t like, written by a writer I don’t know and can’t understand, in a peripheral role I don’t suit in the style of a character I’ve barely heard of without a cast I’m comfortable with and feeling like the only one on the team who hasn’t a clue what I’m doing and being distracted from learning by all the comings and goings of trivia… did I mention there was also wine there for a big party? Tempting, but just another distraction.

Principle 4: I AM Truth… apparently in the case of my current set up, I need to check that statement. What are your dreams revealing to you about your waking situation?

More later… x

Ps. This post was written by me, in the style of me (no characters necessary).

 

Saturday Oracle – An Unacceptable Dream

The crown chakra is back in play this week as is Principle 4: I AM Truth. This combination makes the emergence of hidden information accessible through your dreams as the subconscious pushes insights to the surface the only way it can. But this is an unacceptable dream and disturbance may follow.

For such a long time you’ve been battling to see certain key details that have remained buried deep within. The conscious mind sees what it wants to see, rationalises elements and happenings into neat manageable packages and dismisses what doesn’t fit with the plan it has in place, let’s call it selective cognition. The subconscious however, sees everything, stores everything, but has the inability to rationalise anything… basically your subconscious is a mess waiting to be acknowledged and healed. Don’t be fooled into thinking that your conscious mind is the part of you that’s up to the job of healing it though, that privilege belongs to your higher self who has a much more even keeled handle on things and understands the true nature of what’s relevant to the big picture  and what’s not, and though nothing is dismissable, should be placed in the “accepted and assimilated” filing cabinet.

As the subconscious begins to throw up some really quite weird and possibly even disturbing dreams this week you may find it difficult to accept and assimilate the truth that suddenly comes rushing to the forefront with stark clarity. You might find yourself making statements like “why didn’t I see that?” and “surely that can’t be so.” You may also be tempted to push down the information back into the depths of the inner realms because you still are not ready to face the red flags that have been guiding you back to an appropriate path all along… but this time Big You needs you to listen. The universe is lining up to bring you massive blessings in the next few months but you cannot receive them if you are blinded to their presence by a plan that doesn’t fit with Source’s greater plan.

Keep a dream journal, write down revelations and symbols, insights and stirrings so that you can begin to make sense of the truth that has been present within you. Regardless of how uncomfortable and upsetting, unfathomable or unacceptable, this is the way home to healing and this message that your subconscious is carrying is a clue on your life’s treasure map, don’t dismiss it just because the treasure is buried in a different grid reference to the one you thought. It’s time to trust yourself and what you know deep down to be true.

Wishing you vivid dreams and gentle revelations.

More later… x

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A Simple Truth – When Who You Are Is Enough

There’s a tendency culturally speaking, to portray something akin to perfection. This idealised version of the reality you’re living serves to perpetuate the lie that pushes every other person who has bought into the illusion to attempt to mimic it further to the point where nothing is real anymore.

Despondency increases the further we move from a simple truth. The more layers we build up to pretend we’ve got it covered when the phrase itself: “got it covered” implies hiding something fundamental beneath something superficial… like your face beneath a mask (or your whole head beneath a blanket).

I don’t have it covered today. Today is a raw day. Today is a day where I don’t feel up to par and I don’t have the strength to paste on a happy face to pretend to a discerning audience that the world: my world, is perfect. It isn’t. I use the Grail Principles just as much as I teach them and the Principles I’ve chosen today to readjust my own inner brightness settings are Principle 4: I AM Truth and Principle 1: I AM God…

I had a choice to write a post that was real or not to write one at all, when a small voice within me whispered: “All serves.” So here I AM in my rawness, in my truth… offering you honesty about when who you are is enough.

Can you be real enough to say “I live an empowered, spiritual life but some days I just can’t be arsed to get up and face people”? Can you be real enough to say: “My philosophy was born from a need to heal myself and that journey is always a work in progress”? Can you be real enough to say: “Who I AM is enough in its perfect imperfection and my mess serves me but it may also inspire others”?

I’m not afraid of my mess… it inspires me to help you through yours… it fuels the most joyful moments of my life, the most intense learning experiences and deep blessed healing…

Today I thought I’d show it to you so you don’t have to try so hard to hide yours. You are enough.

More later… x

 

Sir Lancelot’s Dilemma – Should You Choose Loyalty Over Fulfilment?

Remember those legends of Grail Knights of old, when chivalry was a way of life and loyalty the most precious asset to have and bestow? Remember the legendary royal court of King Arthur, and Sir Lancelot’s dilemma when it came to his love for Guinevere versus his loyalty to his king? What to do, eh?

It might be stuff of legend but it’s a common theme in today’s society… I’m not talking about stealing another man’s wife, that’s a conversation for a completely different website, what I’m talking about is a subtler dilemma that still asks whether you should go after your desires even if it means disappointing someone you care for deeply?

We all put real stock in relationships and connections. Words like loyalty, fidelity, dependability and reliability all smack of the attachment of expectations and for the most part, even unwritten, unspoken vows exist between individuals or groups of people without ever causing a big problem. Most of us are decent human beings who live by a code of personal ethics that preclude us doing harm to each other purposefully or consciously either by physical or emotional means. For example: we assume trust, confidentiality, etc. and the longer we know someone, the closer the connection, familial or otherwise, the more we assume those unspoken laws will be in effect… just ask a football fan that dares to cheer on someone else’s team or a girlfriend that dares to fancy the boy her friend likes… it’s a minefield of dos and don’t.

But what about Sir Lancelot?

His destiny, wrapped up in his desire, wrapped up in the karma of all three participants was on the line when he chose to betray his king… was he right to do so?

I’m sure we will all have an opinion on the right or wrong answer but here’s the Wholly Grail’s take on loyalty:

Principle 4: I AM Truth… it simply means that what is right for you in the here and now is the only right answer and if you deny yourself by abstaining from your most precious dream for what you feel may, or may not hurt, disappoint, confound or annoy someone else then you will have committed a betrayal that you yourself may not be able to live with.

Go after your dreams. Not everyone will support you. Some may take it personally and believe it was all about them, but at the deepest level of your soul, when the call comes, your truth is the only truth worth acting on.

Couple of small caveats to interject at this point:

1) If you know someone is going to get hurt by your actions then check your motives and double check them…  if destiny is calling, answer, if however your primary purpose is causing pain, trust me when I tell you karma’s a bitch.

2) Principle 4 comes with a sub-heading: “I reserve the right to evolve.” This means that what is right for you today may not be right for you tomorrow so look to the long term and weigh up if you can live with the consequences before you take the final leap.

In the end, desire and compulsion made Sir Lancelot’s dilemma irrelevant… destiny was calling… is it calling to you too?

Have a blessed week ahead … x

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Saturday Oracle – Cloud Cuckoo Land

The human mind is an extraordinary instrument that affords it’s owner the ability to traverse the whole universe and cross dimensions without ever having to leave the living room. The problem with that is, without the body in tow it is unable to actually interact with its surroundings as anything more than an observer and so may as well be in cloud cuckoo land.

It’s a semi derogatory term today’s title but it’s not meant to be offensive in anyway, more a wake up call to the present moment that you are attempting to escape from whilst daydreaming.

The combination of Principle 2: I AM Detached, which is the “Hey, back in the room!” aspect of the Grail, combined with the mesmerizing violet of the crown chakra where dream state is triggered, denotes a tendency to hatch imaginary escape plans… from reality!

This week you may be tempted to distract yourself from anything that feels uncomfortable like the brain’s automatic response to trauma is to take the consciousness elsewhere. The thing is, this week isn’t about trauma… The Sacred Chalice shows up in times of shock. This is more about the low level monotony of life and the minor niggles that have been stuck for a while that are taking the sheen off an otherwise blessed life, and your need to do everything you can to avoid them.

Avoidance is the issue here but imagine how much energy you would free up if you actually faced the problems head on and tackled them in the here and now. Instead of creating a place in your head to escape to you would have actually escaped for real and be excited to engage with everyday life without needing to avoid anything. It may not happen over night, it may be something that cannot be solved in one go, like that person at work who is getting under your skin, that massive bill that needs paying, that relationship talk you’ve been putting off, that giant mess you’re living in… but I promise you this: whatever you are avoiding is only getting bigger and angrier and more insistent that you pay attention whilst you’re visiting your happy place in your head.

This is the week to take positive action by facing whatever it is that’s had you running for cover… cloud cuckoo land has become a habit so you’ll have to be super vigilant about how you are reacting to discomfort and overwhelm, and brave it out until the thorn in your side has been removed for good by whatever means.

I’m wishing you your happy place be right here in reality…

More next week… x

Weekend Wisdom – The Story Of The Village Well

Let me share a parable with you today: the story of the village well, a humble hole in the ground located centrally in the square where people arrived daily to draw from its depths the very essence of life.

The purest, sweetest clean water was to be found at the bottom of this well and it served the village for centuries. So reliable was the humble hole in the ground that as the years rolled by the village’s began to take it for granted. There were those more thirsty than others that returned to the well several times a day without thought for the rate of flow of the pure sweet water at the bottom or if there would be sufficient for those who had not yet taken their turn. The constant lowering of buckets was, little by little, damaging the delicate walls of the hole in the ground at the centre of the village square and slowly but surely they were beginning to deteriorate, crashing down rocks and particles into the ancient well and slowly contaminating the essence of life beneath… but more than that: beginning to stem the flow from the underground spring.

Centuries ago, when the well had been dug, it was respected, honoured, worshipped and maintained. The hole in the ground was surrounded by a stone wall to protect its perimeter, the villagers took turns in climbing down to clear the spring and maintain the walls, the process was considered an honour and a sacred duty and celebrated with each season. After each maintenance the well was dressed and the villagers would dance around the sacred altar through which the whole community was granted life… but those centuries had past and those who remembered the tradition were long since gone or much too frail to carry out the sacred work… and those who were able were far too invested in what the hole in the ground could do for them to notice that their supply was drying up.

One morning after many years of neglect and deterioration, as the villagers arrived to draw from the hole in the ground… and a crowd began to gather (and voices were raised and heads were scratched), it became apparent that the well was dry. Blocked up? Filled in? Stupid hole in the ground… what use are you if you cannot provide water?

The angry villagers, not understanding their part in the downfall of the sacred fount, not understanding that by effort or offering of themselves, their time, their resources, they might fix it and keep it stable and pure, simply began to leave.

Packing up their worldly goods they set out into the wilderness in search of another hole in the ground to use up and disrespect (and we all know how long you can stay out in the wilderness searching for what you need)… left behind were those too frail to leave, too old to climb into the well and fix the years of neglect… and so they withered too.

The power of the pure sweet flowing water was such that after many years the obstructions were cleared and the newcomers to the village recognised the value of the hole in the ground. They honoured and protected it by building a stone wall around its perimeter, they assigned the strongest and the best to climb down and clear the remaining debris and created a timetable of maintenance along with a village fair to celebrate every season. The new villagers understood that the well needed tending and so each was happy to begin tithing  to create a “Well-ness” fund for it’s needs. They assigned a well attendant to manage the lowering bucket and monitor the usage of the well so everyone had their fair share, as a result of the regulated usage of the essence of life, the flow increased and abundance followed… and the village grew…

It’s an interesting word: “well” isn’t it?

Make of the story what you will and decide if you want to take the hole in the ground for granted or contribute to its upkeep, it’s always been your choice… Principle 6: I AM Self-Full & Principle 7: I AM Open-Hearted.

More later… x

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Conflict And Contradiction – A Glitch In The Matrix

Talking about manifesting the crystal clear vision you’ve created for yourself just beyond the veil as I was in Monday’s Challenge, I wanted to tackle another spanner in the works of bringing your dreams to life: conflict and contradiction in thought, word and deed.

If you want to slow down or even put a halt to creating your vision, the fastest way to dam up the flow and create a glitch in the matrix is to act contrary to your desire. Suppose you have created in your mind’s eye a perfect life for yourself, especially one that requires the cooperation of other people, needing them to want and visualise the same outcome. Now supposing in the moments where you mistakenly assume you are in control of the manifesting process (rather than The Source of All Things who of course has ultimate creative control on how the vision morphs into the realm of matter), and supposing in your limited capacity you have no idea how to move all the component parts and people into the necessary arrangement and alignment to pull off this multifaceted miracle… at times like this its easy to focus on a vision for which you do have control, for example one that doesn’t require the consent of outside parties to make progress.

Sure you can convince yourself that you are filling time, sure you can create something special, but that creation is always going to fall short of your true desire, leaving you feeling unfulfilled, discouraged and somewhat empty inside. That’s only half the story though: using up your creative energy producing a vision from the small self has not only blurred the original picture but has also depleted vital resources manifesting the mediocre instead of the magnificent… Besides, where did this bit fit in the original vision?

Desire is the creative fire in the universe. When you add focus and will, you cannot fail to fulfil destiny… destiny is the path which your soul is compelled to follow, but you have no control over the how, the when or the who. When you engage a desire, the universe is compelled to assemble your matrix for manifesting, but when you place your focus on a different outcome because your ego and your soul are in conflict, that’s where the building takes place leaving your desire in stasis until you choose to refocus in the main matrix again.

Since your creative fire is built-in to the soul’s drive for attainment, the inferior choice will become just that: inferior (in quality, success, etc) simply because your soul will be screaming “I don’t want this, I was born to become that over there.”

Wasted time, wasted energy, working against the Will of God, (which is always in alignment with the will of your soul: Principle 1). Where some cultures will tell you desire is bad, the truth is that desire is everything (only the attachment to it will get you into trouble: Principle 2).

In summary: if your soul desires it and your heart yearns for it then that’s the vision you should hold out for. World’s may collapse and fall while you wait but that’s a lesson in surrender and one for another time.

More later… x

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First Monday Of The Month Challenge – Peering Through To Eternity

October, Wow! Seriously? As it’s the first Monday of the month that must mean we are ready for a Grail Challenge, right? Okay, what if I told you everything you ever wanted is sitting just beyond a thinly veiled curtain and all you had to do to manifest it was to breathe it in gently, relaxing fully whilst peering through to eternity?

You would ask me what I was talking about right?

Peering through to eternity is your ability to look through the veil with crystal clear vision at the image of your chosen future.

The veil is not made of anything except your desire combined with your belief, combined with your sense of worth… pure potential. Eternity then, isn’t so much about how long it takes to bring that desire into the here and now (through the curtain), it’s more about how easily you melt into your own miracle-slipstream or come into full alignment with your vision, hence breathe it in gently and fully relax.

If you are anything like me, then peering through to eternity is really easy… I have 20/20 vision through the veil (I must have been born with special goggles), the bit I struggle with is the relaxing about it and that’s down to three important Grail Principles, the first of which is that worthiness thing I was talking about… Principle 1: I AM God. In my less empowered moments I freak out just like the average Jo/Joe asking: “what the heck makes me so special that God would let me have that miracle?” …and then I remember that I AM an aspect of the Divine and to deny me would be to deny Him/Her/Itself… ludicrous! God (or whatever your chosen name for that Higher Power is) is just waiting for me to remember that I created the vision using the same matrix that creates form (mind moulding matter).

The second important aspect is Principle 2: I AM Detached… again with that breathing and relaxing thing! You have to remember to let go of the outcome. I can hold it for so long before I start to question but as soon as I question I stress, as soon as I stress I tense up and tensing up leads the breakdown of that third important aspect of the Grail: Principle 7: I AM Open-Hearted.

To close the heart means to forget how to receive, how to allow the energy to flow to you, through you and from you. As everything in the universe is made of energy (both sides of the veil… in fact scrap the veil, it’s not real, it’s an illusion built to fool you into thinking that where you are now is separate from where you want to be just so your head won’t explode at the enormity of it), how are you going to draw your miracle made manifest into your life if you’ve closed your heart and stopped the flow of that energy? Basically you’re rejecting the very thing you’re asking for!

So then your challenge for this first Monday (of which there are only 2 more this year) is to picture your chosen reality as if it’s already here, lean into the non-existent veil, peering through to eternity and breathe life into it, relaxing all the while as you believe it’s already yours, it’s already a done deal and you’re not only worthy of it but joyously sharing in your good fortune with those you love.

Challenge made… Challenge accepted?

Let me know what you see when peering through to eternity and what so far has stopped eternity from arriving?

More later… x

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