Tag Archives: Relationships

You’re Halfway There But Look How Far You’ve Come

As we entered July in the middle of last week it suddenly occurred to me that we had past the halfway mark in the year. Normally that floods me with a sense of “it’s all downhill from here,” but this year it feels different. A voice from the heavens was gently reminding me (to remind you) “You’re halfway there but look how far you’ve come.”

Call it what you will, but…

2020 so far has been remarkable. The forced alterations in our day to day lives have triggered a whole host of external and internal transformations that were somehow always destined to propel us along a new trajectory.

For me personally, that began around this time last year when I freed myself from a long term entanglement and began to rebuild my life the way I wanted it to be. This time for me, not for anyone else. It was transformed further when I jumped at the opportunities the universe sent my way, learning new skills and developing my long held dreams to serve more people in a way that honoured their stories as well as my own.

Finally finding balance

Perhaps sensing the incoming universal shifts earlier this year, I began to separate myself from even more unbalanced relationships, friendships and connections, reinforcing my personal and professional boundaries to protect my energy and align with the Principles I have spent years learning and developing.

It’s ok that it’s messy

The Grail is a blueprint for personal and spiritual happiness, wellbeing and peace but when you are so far off it, the journey back takes time and can look messy and uncomfortable to the outside world. I’ve been learning the path for years, but I only chose to walk it consciously the moment I began to say no to anything that is out of integrity with it.

Have I changed. Hell Yes!

Does that change please everybody in my life? Er?… No.

When Spirit reminded me: “You’re halfway there but look how far you’ve come,” I knew that another impending shift was just around the corner. I feel the phase coming to a close and a new one beginning. I’m well aware of the discomfort my clients and students go through when they begin this path in earnest, because I’ve lived it myself… but on the otherside of finding the Grail, is the self-love, peace and fulfilment you’ve been looking for. It may look very different from what you have imagined but it will feel better than you could ever have hoped for.

You are worth the effort

If you are struggling through life’s transitions at the moment, no matter what phase you are in, remember you are worthy of beautiful balanced connections and a life that will honour who you are at every level… and don’t settle for anything less than love, light and abundance. You’re halfway there but look how far you’ve come.

Love, Jo x

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July Oracle: First Meet Your Own Needs

I haven’t seen this combination in quite some time. It joins the vivid orange energy of the sacral chakra, the sexual, sensual and vitality energy centre, with the 6th Principle: I AM Self-Full. With this comes a warning of the need for healing and the main message from the July Oracle: first meet your own needs.

The sacral chakra is often activated when we engage in intimate interactions with others. Not necessarily sexual per se, as intimacy can simply be a caring connection and vulnerability with another human being. It can be about how we give and receive nurturance or love. That being said, when Principle 6 shows up, you are being directly advised to love yourself first.

Meeting your own needs

Tending to your own need for nurturance is fundamental in restoring your energy during or directly after times of high stress or illness. It is also the first requirement in avoiding codependent or needy relationships. As an oracle then, this combination is alluding to one or both of these two things: Either you are in recovery after illness/trauma, or you are about to enter a new relationship.

Having already uploaded the Dragon and Alignment Readings for this week (and the next few weeks to come), I can say that the latter is very likely at this time.

Self-love as a precedent

If codependency is your pattern then this oracle is recommending that you review what you have learned from the previous relationships that have come to you as teachers, then decide what patterns you do not wish to repeat. Starting with self-love and self-care sets a precedent for how others will treat you. It also gives you a good set of boundaries to recognise what you are and are not prepared to accept.

Signs you haven’t healed yet

If you are still healing from a prior connection then this is not the time to get into any new entanglements as further self-work may need to occur. This may look like blame, shame, unforgiveness and other low frequency emotions like anger and resentment. Being Self-Full also means taking responsibility for your own life, healing, expectations and choices.

First meet your own needs as a matter of priority. Only then will you be able to live, love and connect in a healthy way, without need for anyone to meet your needs for you.

What do you need to heal? What can you give to yourself today? The gift of your own love is good place to start. You deserve nothing less.

Love, Jo x

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Discernment in a Time of Separation

Is the current climate of separation tempting you back into situations that you know you left for a reason?

After a week of very telling conversations, I felt drawn to write a piece today that would minister to those tempted to return to unfulfilling situations simply because the circumstances we are all experiencing at this time might be clouding judgment. Honouring yourself means exercising discernment in a time of separation.

Loneliness and the discomfort of coping alone might be a factor in the decisions we make at present, but do you remember why you moved on from those you are now considering returning to? Has anything really changed other than the feeling that you don’t want to do life by yourself?

The Grail Path requires you to place yourself as the sovereign of your own life. Ultimately this means that you step into power and take responsibility for the life, love and wellbeing that you want. It’s easy to romanticize the past and look through rose tinted glasses when things feel hard. This is especially so at present when, if you know anything about astrology, Venus has just entered shadow before retrograding for the longest period in 12 years. She isn’t asking you to go back to what was though, she’s asking you to go back and learn from those relationship mistakes and master it this time.

If you are focused on the past, thinking it was the good old days, then you are wandering into dangerous territory with Principle 2: I AM Detached. If you are projecting into the future thinking things will be different this time, then you better be sure that you have done the work. At the core of your decision needs to be the clarity of what you want, need and expect… not from others but FOR yourself. There is a big difference. If you are expecting others to provide for your needs, you are not being Self-Full and you are setting yourself up for disappointment, especially if that same person came nowhere close to fulfilling your requirements last time around.

Ask yourself these questions before you jump back into a relationship, friendship, partnership, situationship or entanglement again:

  • What has changed about you?
  • How are you going to handle the situation differently this time?
  • Have you clearly understood what the other person’s expectations of you are?
  • Are you prepared to meet those expectations?
  • Have you got a clear understanding of what your boundaries are and how to enforce them?
  • Have you made your boundaries clear to the other person?

Notice that all these questions are focused around you. You cannot control, or even accurately measure, the other person’s growth since the last time you connected (or parted), and although I am all about forgiveness (Principle 3), forgiveness is not free reign for more of the same.

The book I’m currently writing focuses heavily on this subject and guides you to honour your self-worth and remember that you are God presented in human form (Principle 1). If you allow yourself to accept less than reverence and respect from another in any of your relationships, then you allow the desecration of your most Sacred-Self.

Discernment in a time of separation needs for you to honour your own vulnerability and sit with it. If, when all this separation falls away and you return to your most powerful, you want to return to old relationships too, do so from a place of empowered respect for your heart and soul and not from the disempowered lonely ego, craving comfort, (that ultimately knows that familiarity leads back to discontent).

If you need more guidance at this time why not book a session?

Love always, Jo x

Have you seen the Dragon Reading this week? …and the Alignment Task is out later today too.

Graduating From A Soul Lesson

It was a toss up today between writing about this intentional subject or veering off into the topic of dealing with overwhelm and overcommitment, which is kind of where I feel I am at the moment. Graduating from a soul lesson though feels like the theme most relevant to my own evolution and the overwhelm is a temporary imbalance brought on by entusiasm for a million projects at once.

I was reminded this morning by a friend who inadvertently, whilst asking about one of her own soul-lessons, got me thinking about how far I had come and how I have emotionally let go to such a degree that the old patterns of being triggered by old stories don’t even apply anymore.

Healing has taken the form of extreme self-love a recognition of the life I want and the compromises I’m just not willing to make to achieve it. More importantly, that making those compromises previously, was actually pushing me further and further into the opposite of the of what I most wanted. Some people will never be able to give you what you want, it’s up to you to give it to yourself.

I came acoross a post recently from someone who has played an important role in my own soul’s evolution, especially when it comes understanding to love (and being loved well). I recognised that old hurts and disappointments have given way to gentle gratitude and an underlying wish for him to heal. I have no need to be involved in his healing, at least not anymore, the simple wish is enough… I’ve served my time, I’ve passed my higher consciousness exams and I’m quietly celebrating my graduation from a soul lesson that almost broke me, almost destroyed my life, but ultimately compelled me to seek a higher love and install the compassion programme deep into my psyche, firstly for myself and then for him and those that went before. It birthed me into a new level of service.

Engaging Principle 7 of The Grail through fully understanding Principle 1, (supported and accomplished by applying the other 5 keys to balance and fulfilment), set me free from a pattern that led in a circular motion toward more of the same. You can do it too.

Whatever pattern you have been trying to break free from in your life, whether it was in relationships, behaviours, beliefs or whatever, know that when you start focusing on self-love and don’t be afraid to let go of the familiar, then give yourself time with compassion, you will eventually break loose and graduate from your own soul lesson.

Jo x

P.S. Need more help? Join our online community on Facebook HERE. Look out for my upcoming mini-course in forgiveness coming in February and join the mailing list to receive the newsletter with exclusive access to the Weekly Alignment Readings.

Kicked The Codependency Habit? …What Next?

Its a question I had to ask myself recently: have I kicked the codependency habit? My answer was met with two distinct voices, one of whom was singing my praises and celebrating with a resounding “Yes!” While the other was desperately waving red flags and asking: “How will I know until I’m faced with another test?”

It’s been a bit of a harrowing and yet bitterly sweet few years, learning the true meaning of what it is to not just love myself more, but to truly respect my own divinity and worth at the deepest level. This concept is the basis for the first Principle in the Grail and the one from which the power to accept all the others is derived. It is also the foundation upon which all versions of personal happiness and sustainable success in life and love are built.

I knew that. Well, intellectually at least.

It is one thing to bandy about words and concepts like self-love, self-respect and self-worth, but it’s quite another to integrate the energy of, and begin to live by the highest frequency of these conscious programmes. Until you do, nobody else in your sphere will show you how to do it… its true that people can only love you to the extent that you love yourself and more importantly that they will inevitably love you the way you show them how. By that premise, until we have integrated and begun to consistently display the elements of reverence for our own divinity, nobody else is going to.

I’ve had a little internal conversation with the voice of my red flag bearer, about the true nature of her presence… you see the fact that she’s there flag-in-hand, tell’s me that I’m still very aware of the potential for codependent, even toxic relationships and connections that comes as a result of forgetting who I am, even for just a moment. And that because of her presence, I cannot forget… so I am lavishing just as much love on that part of me as I am on the part that knows she’s overcome the greatest test she was sent to endure and not only survived, but firmly decided that she’s a much better version of herself as a result of the journey.

What’s even more special is that I now know for sure that my capacity for forgiveness is infinite. I’m not talking about the words: “I forgive you,” (although they are a good place to start). I’m talking about the radical transmutation of all anger and resentment, all blame and all shame and the unltimate liberation from any sense of attachment or victimhood. Add to that, the fact that I know it’s all been a test and that new tests will arrive, shows indications that in knowing myself and accepting myself with the same openness and compassion I give to others, stems from the understanding that nothing in this world is ever personal

If its not personal, I can play with it more. Be easy with it, be easy on myself.

Always remember you get to choose how you interact with others but it has to start with how you honour yourself. To do that you have be brave enough to say goodbye to anything that doesn’t honour you. Be unafraid of losing even the most precious of connections. If you do lose it, it was never love.

If you’ve kicked the codependency habit but are still unsure if the next adventure will go the same way, love yourself enough to say no until you no longer feel the need to silence your red flag waving reminder of how far you’ve come. She’s not your inner-wound, she’s your standard-bearer and she’s setting your standards way higher than you ever thought you were worthy of. She’s going to make sure you are attracting only the crystal clear mirror of your own self-love in another human being.

Honour her first and foremost. The red on that flag is the depth and passion of your beautiful heart. It deserves nothing less in return.

Jo x

Did you catch the Dragon Reading this week?

The Alignment Reading is also ready for the email subscribers and the link goes out on Monday’s (late afternoon) via the Newsletter… you can sign up to receive it here.

Our Honoured Teachers – Relationship Edition

As you walk your path through life, sometimes aware of the Grail, sometimes holding it and sometimes oblivious to the abundance available to you, you find yourself side by side with those meant to show you the way and others meant obscure it. Our honoured teachers all have significance to the journey… some more than others.

Can you give credit to the people who have shifted your life in significant ways without needing to place good and bad labels on the methods by which those changes were introduced?

Our honoured teachers come and go as parents, children, siblings, friends, co-workers etc. but none perhaps so significant as those we willingly give our hearts to. Lovers, spouses, potential lovers and those who came close, all have a unique message for our personal growth. We were not meant to walk the path alone and will always seek our own reflection in others.

Principle 7: I AM Open-Hearted is the last in the set of Wholly Grail Principles… it requires balance, give and take, the mastery of the other Principles, but none so much as the first, Principle 1: I AM God. This simple acknowledgment of the divine in all life reminds us that you and I are not separate from each other, I honour you as a teacher because I see you in me, I see me in you, we are the same and it is through rediscovering that over and over that the greatest lessons occur.

You too are someone’s honoured teacher. You have hurt and you have healed many on the path, sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. There were times when you deliberately drained or spilled the Grail of another and there were times when you couldn’t possibly know how little they had left to give. It was never your responsibility to refill anyone’s cup but your own… as it was the responsibility of each companion to only attend to theirs.

Another honoured teacher is just up ahead. They may have a familiar face or the face of a stranger, it is of no consequence the outer shell… all teaching is cyclical until the blessing is extracted and the lesson is complete. As your next teacher approaches, remember the cyclical nature of The Wholly Grail… Principle 1 is the key and Principle 7 is the lock.

May your heart be open and all your teachers be honoured… x

Conscious Connection Part 3 – Make Space For Us

In this run up to Valentine’s Day Conscious Connection series I have been sharing The Wholly Grail in a way that applies directly to relationships. Any relationships, but of course the romantic kind are high up on that list at the moment. If you missed the previous parts you can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

In part 3 I’m drawing your attention to another two Principles, so let’s get started:

Principle 5. Make space for us. Where there is only you and yours, I cannot exist. Where there is only me and mine, you cannot exist.

Life is full, I know. It is filled with things and busy-ness, obligations and responsibilities. I have mine, you have yours… and there will always be more stuff incoming. The burden of life’s offerings will bury us… Us. Us is thing. We are a thing, but a thing needs space, space to be, space to grow, space to become. Space in your mind, space in your heart, space in your schedule, space in your life and your home… without space we cannot be a thing.

You and I have a responsibility to the thing that has been born between us. It’s growth, its health, its very survival depends on the care we give it. Notice that your responsibility is not to me, nor mine to you but to the tender creation of a third entity that we have created… this thing called relationship. Without space, consideration and care it will die.

Principle 6. Whatever makes you happy. That’s your only job. For when you fulfil your own requirements for health, happiness and well-being, our commitment to each other is one of shared joy and creation.

You were not put out on this earth to fulfil my every need or to bolster my ego and it was never my calling to carry your insecurities and frailties either… we were put here together at this time to acknowledge and mirror back our own wholeness to and through each other, to amplify the innate power of divine healing and creativity to transform the world through love.

When you take care of yourself you are at your most powerful and magnetic… alluring, sexy. And when you are temporarily unable, I will show you the way back to you through healing… not because you are my responsibility but because I love you and I choose to still see you in your power.

Valentine Offer on Conscious Connection Personal Guidance available until the end of February here.

More later… x

 

 

Conscious Connection Part 2 – Hear My Heart

In part 2 of this series on Conscious Connection (you can read part 1 here), where we are continuing to apply the Principles of The Wholly Grail to building better relationships in honour of next week’s “day of love.” Maybe by using these insights we can begin constructing our personal interactions in a way that means love is our primary driving force every day of the year instead of just on one arbitrary anniversary of some untraceable saint. It is after all the most precious gift we can give to another and accept for ourselves.

Principle 3. Forgive what I cannot alter.

I have made mistakes as I have travelled this road, we all have. Our lives did not come with a comprehensive map. Some of my mistakes have hurt and harmed others, some may have hurt or harmed you. I cannot change what went before, I cannot retrace my steps and erase the footprints I left on your soul… nor can you erase where you failed to softly tread upon mine. Whether the scars be noticeable or subtle in texture, carved into our stories they now serve as experience and a platform for understanding, a beacon showing the way around the pitfalls that once caused us to falter, flail and fearfully lash out… but in order to see the shining light of the torch showing the way, we must remove the blinkers of blame, acknowledge the roles we all play and allow the scars to be gently cleansed by forgiveness.

Principle 4. Hear my heart, for my words are insufficient to express my soul.

We misunderstand because we aim to be right. We misrepresent because we aim to be higher… but we all have a song that yearns to be expressed from the heart, that when through love we choose to hear that melody from another without need for correction or criticism, without need for manipulation, without need for validation or opinion, harmony begins to exist, adding not taking away from our own. The universe is singing with individuality, with inspiration and originality but the song is the same the world over… “hear me, love me, let me contribute any way I can.”

Can you forgive completely, owning your own mistakes? Can you listen without needing to correct and contribute without needing to be right? If the answer is yes then you are on your way to build conscious connections.

If you would like a Personal look at your relationships using The Intuitive Chalice Oracle then check out my Valentine Offer Here.

More on Conscious Connection later… x

 

Conscious Connection Part 1 – In My Wholeness

Let’s face it, relationships are the whole point of the ride and unless you are a seasoned hermit ensconced high upon a mountain and well provided for by self-sufficient means, your entire life is made up of various forms of connection, conscious or otherwise.

The next few posts are focused on how you might apply the Principles of The Wholly Grail to your current and future interactions to transform the quality of relating to a conscious level where all parties involved thrive from the balance attained. It takes commitment, self-knowledge and incredible will to move beyond where you are to a new way of relating if you are not already consciously connecting, but hang on in there, the rewards can be truly fulfilling.

Principle 1. Meet me in my wholeness. Honour me as the divine being that I am.

How you currently see the ‘other’ in your relationship is key to creating balance, respect and even reverence. If each partner was able to see God in the other and a genuine desire serve God existed within the framework of their spiritual make up, then the greatest care would be taken at every interaction. Imagine for a moment entering a sacred temple where a divine being was enshrined. The smell of incense wafting through the air, an ocean of floral tributes strewn upon the altar… in what state do you enter? Calmly? Serenely? In awe? Definitely with respect and reverence, right? Chances are that divine being is a statue dedicated to a saint or enlightened one… The significant other in your relationship isn’t an effigy but a living, breathing embodiment of Source energy, does that not deserve a higher degree of reverence?

Before you can begin to grasp the significance of how you honour another, you must first recognise that you too are that same divine essence and worthy of reverence and respect. The phrase “meet me in my wholeness” requires that you embrace your own God-self, understanding that you hold the key to how others treat you. You set the standard of what is and is not acceptable to you. Setting and enforcing boundaries and expectations should be done gently and with the care afforded to a child in the process of learning a new skill or lesson and reaffirmed with your every action. Letting something slide is teaching the other that you do not respect your own divinity but overreacting and lashing out is also denying your own power by feeling you need to ‘fight’ for it rather than simply standing in it.

Nobody’s divinity is more or less than anyone else’s. Combine reverence with humility.

Principle 2. Meet me as I am in this moment. Who you once perceived me to be and who you project I may become do not exist in reality.

This is powerful stuff so take a second to read that last statement again… Meet me as I am in this moment, Wow!

How many times have you made assumptions about someone based on an old outdated set of criteria? Based on the opinions of another’s past experience or of one interaction that didn’t go according to expectations?  How much does history dictate the way you show up in a relationship? Every encounter with a partner, no matter how long the relationship has been in play has the potential to be a completely new experience. Let the baggage go and enter the next chapter with fresh eyes, as an observer of what is.

History is only one element of expectation. In order to meet anyone as they are in this moment you have to let go of any agenda of what you believe they may become. If you you meet that guy and think “I can change him, he just needs my guidance on social etiquette and slight wardrobe adjustment,” then you’re not seeing who he is. If you are seeing that girl and imagining what she’d look like if she shed a few pounds and dyed her hair blonde, then you are projecting an unreal potential onto her that has nothing to do with who she is. Acknowledge and accept what is before you without judgment and without wanting to change it and you are already beginning to create a conscious connection.

I hope that’s given you food for thought until the next post but if you want Personal Grail Guidance on Conscious Connection then check out my Valentine Offer available to the end of February here.

More later… x

Monday Mind Manoeuvre – Shattering Mirrors

There may well be a tendency to fret and struggling when your reality begins to shift, it’s natural to want to hold onto what feels stable and so become fearful and distressed if your equilibrium is threatened, but was it ever a nurturing equilibrium? Now that the shattering mirrors are revealing little less than lies hidden beneath, isn’t it time you began building foundations that aren’t made from glass?

Every relationship, friendship and acquaintance you have is a reflection of who you are, but when you begin to transform, when you begin to value yourself more, these reflections begin to distort and that distortion eventually either shatters the glass of the reason or need for them to be connected to you, or it transforms those reflected in the mirror to new versions of themselves and indeed of the relationship.

When you apply self-love to your every action and begin to value your Wholly Grail, manipulation, usury and co-dependency begin to evaporate.

As difficult as it is to recognise that your connections to some people were born of need, perhaps from both parties, anger and resentment are useless depleting emotions that will serve to keep you stuck, as are guilt and shame. The way through is forgiveness for all mistaken interactions and gratitude for all the lessons, after all, this individual or group of individuals played a role so well as to be the mirror that reflected back your best and worst attributes offering you the tools by which to heal yourself and grow (however painfully in the moment or blindly in the past).

Bless those that remain, bless those that have fallen away, don’t struggle with those whose mirrors are beginning to shatter… just carefully clean up the glass and bless them too… new mirrors are forming around your elevated frequency and so a new reality is being born and new connections and relationships are beginning to enter your view.

Nothing is permanent in this life.

Principle 1: I AM God 

Principle 3: I AM Human

Principle 4: I AM Truth

More later… x

P.S. Don’t forget your Annual Angelic Forecast for 2018, you can order yours here.