Tag Archives: Relationships

Graduating From A Soul Lesson

It was a toss up today between writing about this intentional subject or veering off into the topic of dealing with overwhelm and overcommitment, which is kind of where I feel I am at the moment. Graduating from a soul lesson though feels like the theme most relevant to my own evolution and the overwhelm is a temporary imbalance brought on by entusiasm for a million projects at once.

I was reminded this morning by a friend who inadvertently, whilst asking about one of her own soul-lessons, got me thinking about how far I had come and how I have emotionally let go to such a degree that the old patterns of being triggered by old stories don’t even apply anymore.

Healing has taken the form of extreme self-love a recognition of the life I want and the compromises I’m just not willing to make to achieve it. More importantly, that making those compromises previously, was actually pushing me further and further into the opposite of the of what I most wanted. Some people will never be able to give you what you want, it’s up to you to give it to yourself.

I came acoross a post recently from someone who has played an important role in my own soul’s evolution, especially when it comes understanding to love (and being loved well). I recognised that old hurts and disappointments have given way to gentle gratitude and an underlying wish for him to heal. I have no need to be involved in his healing, at least not anymore, the simple wish is enough… I’ve served my time, I’ve passed my higher consciousness exams and I’m quietly celebrating my graduation from a soul lesson that almost broke me, almost destroyed my life, but ultimately compelled me to seek a higher love and install the compassion programme deep into my psyche, firstly for myself and then for him and those that went before. It birthed me into a new level of service.

Engaging Principle 7 of The Grail through fully understanding Principle 1, (supported and accomplished by applying the other 5 keys to balance and fulfilment), set me free from a pattern that led in a circular motion toward more of the same. You can do it too.

Whatever pattern you have been trying to break free from in your life, whether it was in relationships, behaviours, beliefs or whatever, know that when you start focusing on self-love and don’t be afraid to let go of the familiar, then give yourself time with compassion, you will eventually break loose and graduate from your own soul lesson.

Jo x

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Kicked The Codependency Habit? …What Next?

Its a question I had to ask myself recently: have I kicked the codependency habit? My answer was met with two distinct voices, one of whom was singing my praises and celebrating with a resounding “Yes!” While the other was desperately waving red flags and asking: “How will I know until I’m faced with another test?”

It’s been a bit of a harrowing and yet bitterly sweet few years, learning the true meaning of what it is to not just love myself more, but to truly respect my own divinity and worth at the deepest level. This concept is the basis for the first Principle in the Grail and the one from which the power to accept all the others is derived. It is also the foundation upon which all versions of personal happiness and sustainable success in life and love are built.

I knew that. Well, intellectually at least.

It is one thing to bandy about words and concepts like self-love, self-respect and self-worth, but it’s quite another to integrate the energy of, and begin to live by the highest frequency of these conscious programmes. Until you do, nobody else in your sphere will show you how to do it… its true that people can only love you to the extent that you love yourself and more importantly that they will inevitably love you the way you show them how. By that premise, until we have integrated and begun to consistently display the elements of reverence for our own divinity, nobody else is going to.

I’ve had a little internal conversation with the voice of my red flag bearer, about the true nature of her presence… you see the fact that she’s there flag-in-hand, tell’s me that I’m still very aware of the potential for codependent, even toxic relationships and connections that comes as a result of forgetting who I am, even for just a moment. And that because of her presence, I cannot forget… so I am lavishing just as much love on that part of me as I am on the part that knows she’s overcome the greatest test she was sent to endure and not only survived, but firmly decided that she’s a much better version of herself as a result of the journey.

What’s even more special is that I now know for sure that my capacity for forgiveness is infinite. I’m not talking about the words: “I forgive you,” (although they are a good place to start). I’m talking about the radical transmutation of all anger and resentment, all blame and all shame and the unltimate liberation from any sense of attachment or victimhood. Add to that, the fact that I know it’s all been a test and that new tests will arrive, shows indications that in knowing myself and accepting myself with the same openness and compassion I give to others, stems from the understanding that nothing in this world is ever personal

If its not personal, I can play with it more. Be easy with it, be easy on myself.

Always remember you get to choose how you interact with others but it has to start with how you honour yourself. To do that you have be brave enough to say goodbye to anything that doesn’t honour you. Be unafraid of losing even the most precious of connections. If you do lose it, it was never love.

If you’ve kicked the codependency habit but are still unsure if the next adventure will go the same way, love yourself enough to say no until you no longer feel the need to silence your red flag waving reminder of how far you’ve come. She’s not your inner-wound, she’s your standard-bearer and she’s setting your standards way higher than you ever thought you were worthy of. She’s going to make sure you are attracting only the crystal clear mirror of your own self-love in another human being.

Honour her first and foremost. The red on that flag is the depth and passion of your beautiful heart. It deserves nothing less in return.

Jo x

Did you catch the Dragon Reading this week?

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Our Honoured Teachers – Relationship Edition

As you walk your path through life, sometimes aware of the Grail, sometimes holding it and sometimes oblivious to the abundance available to you, you find yourself side by side with those meant to show you the way and others meant obscure it. Our honoured teachers all have significance to the journey… some more than others.

Can you give credit to the people who have shifted your life in significant ways without needing to place good and bad labels on the methods by which those changes were introduced?

Our honoured teachers come and go as parents, children, siblings, friends, co-workers etc. but none perhaps so significant as those we willingly give our hearts to. Lovers, spouses, potential lovers and those who came close, all have a unique message for our personal growth. We were not meant to walk the path alone and will always seek our own reflection in others.

Principle 7: I AM Open-Hearted is the last in the set of Wholly Grail Principles… it requires balance, give and take, the mastery of the other Principles, but none so much as the first, Principle 1: I AM God. This simple acknowledgment of the divine in all life reminds us that you and I are not separate from each other, I honour you as a teacher because I see you in me, I see me in you, we are the same and it is through rediscovering that over and over that the greatest lessons occur.

You too are someone’s honoured teacher. You have hurt and you have healed many on the path, sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. There were times when you deliberately drained or spilled the Grail of another and there were times when you couldn’t possibly know how little they had left to give. It was never your responsibility to refill anyone’s cup but your own… as it was the responsibility of each companion to only attend to theirs.

Another honoured teacher is just up ahead. They may have a familiar face or the face of a stranger, it is of no consequence the outer shell… all teaching is cyclical until the blessing is extracted and the lesson is complete. As your next teacher approaches, remember the cyclical nature of The Wholly Grail… Principle 1 is the key and Principle 7 is the lock.

May your heart be open and all your teachers be honoured… x

Conscious Connection Part 3 – Make Space For Us

In this run up to Valentine’s Day Conscious Connection series I have been sharing The Wholly Grail in a way that applies directly to relationships. Any relationships, but of course the romantic kind are high up on that list at the moment. If you missed the previous parts you can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

In part 3 I’m drawing your attention to another two Principles, so let’s get started:

Principle 5. Make space for us. Where there is only you and yours, I cannot exist. Where there is only me and mine, you cannot exist.

Life is full, I know. It is filled with things and busy-ness, obligations and responsibilities. I have mine, you have yours… and there will always be more stuff incoming. The burden of life’s offerings will bury us… Us. Us is thing. We are a thing, but a thing needs space, space to be, space to grow, space to become. Space in your mind, space in your heart, space in your schedule, space in your life and your home… without space we cannot be a thing.

You and I have a responsibility to the thing that has been born between us. It’s growth, its health, its very survival depends on the care we give it. Notice that your responsibility is not to me, nor mine to you but to the tender creation of a third entity that we have created… this thing called relationship. Without space, consideration and care it will die.

Principle 6. Whatever makes you happy. That’s your only job. For when you fulfil your own requirements for health, happiness and well-being, our commitment to each other is one of shared joy and creation.

You were not put out on this earth to fulfil my every need or to bolster my ego and it was never my calling to carry your insecurities and frailties either… we were put here together at this time to acknowledge and mirror back our own wholeness to and through each other, to amplify the innate power of divine healing and creativity to transform the world through love.

When you take care of yourself you are at your most powerful and magnetic… alluring, sexy. And when you are temporarily unable, I will show you the way back to you through healing… not because you are my responsibility but because I love you and I choose to still see you in your power.

Valentine Offer on Conscious Connection Personal Guidance available until the end of February here.

More later… x

 

 

Conscious Connection Part 2 – Hear My Heart

In part 2 of this series on Conscious Connection (you can read part 1 here), where we are continuing to apply the Principles of The Wholly Grail to building better relationships in honour of next week’s “day of love.” Maybe by using these insights we can begin constructing our personal interactions in a way that means love is our primary driving force every day of the year instead of just on one arbitrary anniversary of some untraceable saint. It is after all the most precious gift we can give to another and accept for ourselves.

Principle 3. Forgive what I cannot alter.

I have made mistakes as I have travelled this road, we all have. Our lives did not come with a comprehensive map. Some of my mistakes have hurt and harmed others, some may have hurt or harmed you. I cannot change what went before, I cannot retrace my steps and erase the footprints I left on your soul… nor can you erase where you failed to softly tread upon mine. Whether the scars be noticeable or subtle in texture, carved into our stories they now serve as experience and a platform for understanding, a beacon showing the way around the pitfalls that once caused us to falter, flail and fearfully lash out… but in order to see the shining light of the torch showing the way, we must remove the blinkers of blame, acknowledge the roles we all play and allow the scars to be gently cleansed by forgiveness.

Principle 4. Hear my heart, for my words are insufficient to express my soul.

We misunderstand because we aim to be right. We misrepresent because we aim to be higher… but we all have a song that yearns to be expressed from the heart, that when through love we choose to hear that melody from another without need for correction or criticism, without need for manipulation, without need for validation or opinion, harmony begins to exist, adding not taking away from our own. The universe is singing with individuality, with inspiration and originality but the song is the same the world over… “hear me, love me, let me contribute any way I can.”

Can you forgive completely, owning your own mistakes? Can you listen without needing to correct and contribute without needing to be right? If the answer is yes then you are on your way to build conscious connections.

If you would like a Personal look at your relationships using The Intuitive Chalice Oracle then check out my Valentine Offer Here.

More on Conscious Connection later… x

 

Conscious Connection Part 1 – In My Wholeness

Let’s face it, relationships are the whole point of the ride and unless you are a seasoned hermit ensconced high upon a mountain and well provided for by self-sufficient means, your entire life is made up of various forms of connection, conscious or otherwise.

The next few posts are focused on how you might apply the Principles of The Wholly Grail to your current and future interactions to transform the quality of relating to a conscious level where all parties involved thrive from the balance attained. It takes commitment, self-knowledge and incredible will to move beyond where you are to a new way of relating if you are not already consciously connecting, but hang on in there, the rewards can be truly fulfilling.

Principle 1. Meet me in my wholeness. Honour me as the divine being that I am.

How you currently see the ‘other’ in your relationship is key to creating balance, respect and even reverence. If each partner was able to see God in the other and a genuine desire serve God existed within the framework of their spiritual make up, then the greatest care would be taken at every interaction. Imagine for a moment entering a sacred temple where a divine being was enshrined. The smell of incense wafting through the air, an ocean of floral tributes strewn upon the altar… in what state do you enter? Calmly? Serenely? In awe? Definitely with respect and reverence, right? Chances are that divine being is a statue dedicated to a saint or enlightened one… The significant other in your relationship isn’t an effigy but a living, breathing embodiment of Source energy, does that not deserve a higher degree of reverence?

Before you can begin to grasp the significance of how you honour another, you must first recognise that you too are that same divine essence and worthy of reverence and respect. The phrase “meet me in my wholeness” requires that you embrace your own God-self, understanding that you hold the key to how others treat you. You set the standard of what is and is not acceptable to you. Setting and enforcing boundaries and expectations should be done gently and with the care afforded to a child in the process of learning a new skill or lesson and reaffirmed with your every action. Letting something slide is teaching the other that you do not respect your own divinity but overreacting and lashing out is also denying your own power by feeling you need to ‘fight’ for it rather than simply standing in it.

Nobody’s divinity is more or less than anyone else’s. Combine reverence with humility.

Principle 2. Meet me as I am in this moment. Who you once perceived me to be and who you project I may become do not exist in reality.

This is powerful stuff so take a second to read that last statement again… Meet me as I am in this moment, Wow!

How many times have you made assumptions about someone based on an old outdated set of criteria? Based on the opinions of another’s past experience or of one interaction that didn’t go according to expectations?  How much does history dictate the way you show up in a relationship? Every encounter with a partner, no matter how long the relationship has been in play has the potential to be a completely new experience. Let the baggage go and enter the next chapter with fresh eyes, as an observer of what is.

History is only one element of expectation. In order to meet anyone as they are in this moment you have to let go of any agenda of what you believe they may become. If you you meet that guy and think “I can change him, he just needs my guidance on social etiquette and slight wardrobe adjustment,” then you’re not seeing who he is. If you are seeing that girl and imagining what she’d look like if she shed a few pounds and dyed her hair blonde, then you are projecting an unreal potential onto her that has nothing to do with who she is. Acknowledge and accept what is before you without judgment and without wanting to change it and you are already beginning to create a conscious connection.

I hope that’s given you food for thought until the next post but if you want Personal Grail Guidance on Conscious Connection then check out my Valentine Offer available to the end of February here.

More later… x

Monday Mind Manoeuvre – Shattering Mirrors

There may well be a tendency to fret and struggling when your reality begins to shift, it’s natural to want to hold onto what feels stable and so become fearful and distressed if your equilibrium is threatened, but was it ever a nurturing equilibrium? Now that the shattering mirrors are revealing little less than lies hidden beneath, isn’t it time you began building foundations that aren’t made from glass?

Every relationship, friendship and acquaintance you have is a reflection of who you are, but when you begin to transform, when you begin to value yourself more, these reflections begin to distort and that distortion eventually either shatters the glass of the reason or need for them to be connected to you, or it transforms those reflected in the mirror to new versions of themselves and indeed of the relationship.

When you apply self-love to your every action and begin to value your Wholly Grail, manipulation, usury and co-dependency begin to evaporate.

As difficult as it is to recognise that your connections to some people were born of need, perhaps from both parties, anger and resentment are useless depleting emotions that will serve to keep you stuck, as are guilt and shame. The way through is forgiveness for all mistaken interactions and gratitude for all the lessons, after all, this individual or group of individuals played a role so well as to be the mirror that reflected back your best and worst attributes offering you the tools by which to heal yourself and grow (however painfully in the moment or blindly in the past).

Bless those that remain, bless those that have fallen away, don’t struggle with those whose mirrors are beginning to shatter… just carefully clean up the glass and bless them too… new mirrors are forming around your elevated frequency and so a new reality is being born and new connections and relationships are beginning to enter your view.

Nothing is permanent in this life.

Principle 1: I AM God 

Principle 3: I AM Human

Principle 4: I AM Truth

More later… x

P.S. Don’t forget your Annual Angelic Forecast for 2018, you can order yours here.

Intuitive Chalice Oracle – Primary Proposal

This weeks combination feels right, it feels wonderful! Imagine if you will that true love crossed your path today and for the first time ever colours were so much brighter, life was so much sweeter, and the grass was so much greener on your own side of the fence. Love can do that to you, and this could be a week where you experience that intensity to the fullest as you say yes to a primary proposal.

Principle 1: I AM God, the aspect of The Wholly Grail that embraces worthiness, cosies up to the vibrant orange sacral chakra this week and so healthy relationships are being highlighted. But this is a week where priorities shift and new understanding of what relating means comes to the fore as the first Principle demands total self respect and actuates your primary proposal or commitment to Self.

True Love then, in this instance is learning to see yourself as the divine lover and becoming so dedicated to creating your own sacred partnership with yourself that all other relationships are reflections of that beauty.

It is sad that for many, their sense of their own loveability is measured by how much others appear to love them, though from this perspective, having a warped perception of what actions constitute love means that the measurement is always going to be on dangerous ground. Contrary, the ability to love oneself is always the mirror by which external relationships are founded.

When you fully commit to your own highest good, all those with lesser intentions towards you will naturally fall away (or you will start gravitating away from them). So this week is a week for getting clear about what you are willing to believe you are worthy of from yourself and from others.

It’s worth noting that the sacral chakra is the energy centre that forms attachments and so addiction and co-dependency are quite likely to try to pull you back into your patterns… that’s why it’s a proposal… you have the option to commit to self love, self-acceptance, self-esteem, self-worth and the conscious decision to choose better, higher, and more sacred experiences for yourself, or you can choose to continue along the path of allowing someone else’s capacity to love you to dictate how much love you are worthy of.

It’s not going to be an easy week, but it’s going to be so very rewarding if you choose you.

More next week… x

P.S., there is still time to order your Annual Angelic Forecast for 2018. Follow the link.

Saturday Oracle – The Seventh Sacred Direction

Time seems to be moving so quickly at present it hardly seems to be a full week since I was writing the last oracle reading and similarly no time at all since this combination arrived to enlighten us. The Seventh Sacred Direction is a place within, where the absence of time permits us to observe the outer world without being drawn into its madness… and that is where this week’s combination is leading us.

Principle 2: I AM Detached graces the vibrant orange sacral chakra with a reprieve from outward stressors this week by anchoring your attention within the Seventh Sacred Direction… Let me explain:

Symbolically speaking, in front of you is the future, behind you is the past, and to either side of you are lateral occurrences happening with other people or in different geographical locations, for example, the lives of friends, the decisions of political regimes, the anomalous geological and meteorological shifts the world is undergoing. All of this stuff is beyond your control but when you focus upon it it can bring great drama and increased stress into your life.

Below you is your connection to the earth and the present moment. Grounded and rooted in the present, you have all your power at your disposal. Above you is your connection to your higher power, God if you like, again symbolically because in reality God is All-That-There-Is and so effectively everywhere. Connected here, we have access to a higher perspective of the present moment… then there’s the Seventh Sacred Direction and you are that direction. Connecting fully to this powerful centre offers you the opportunity to step into the role of the observer where the four lateral and peripheral directions can be viewed with compassion but from a neutral standpoint i.e. detachment. Here, outcomes, unknowns and unknowables are accepted as pure potential and therefore worry is an obsolete endeavour.

The sacral chakra in this combination is indicating what we must detach from this week and so relationships, friendships, social connections and intimate partnerships are being highlighted.

Don’t freak out, nobody is asking you to dump your lover and move to an isolated location to become a hermit. When you step into that sacred space within, you are still able to interact and be a part of your world without being drawn into its craziness, without needing to fix it, without needing to play a central role in it and recognising that it doesn’t play a central role for you (unless you allow it to).

This week is about handing back all that is not yours to carry, the inadvertently accepted responsibilities of relationship that distract and deter you from your main mission… which is you.

I’ve seen many of my own friends and acquaintances take a temporary sabbatical from social media this week, others retrieve their energetic ties from demanding associations and many who are still being cajoled and tussled by stuff that just isn’t theirs, whom this oracle is advising to detach and centre.

Take a look at your connections this week and see which ones are nurturing, which ones are draining, which ones are so intertwined that you cannot see where you end and another begins and pull back to individuation. Allow everyone to carry only what’s theirs.

We can walk side by side on this journey but only once you have discerned where your sides actually are.

More next week… x

P.S. To access this week’s mini visualisation on Focus and Direction you need to be a member. It’s FREE to join as a Seeker here.

Taking The Path Of Least Resistance

It’s more important than anything else that you might do, to do it because it makes you happy. Now the fact that we often surround ourselves with details that come with obligations, people that come with agendas, wants and needs that come with conditions etc, makes finding that joy a little more difficult because it’s obscured by superfluous stuff.

Let’s say for instance that you fall in love… that’s a biggy isn’t it? We imagine that love will make us happy don’t we? Supposing though, that the person you fall in love with turns out to be exactly what people warned you about and that your rose tinted, see-the-best-in-everyone-especially-the-romantic-interest glasses, have finally been removed… what action now will make you happiest?

Let’s make the scenario even more complicated: what if the romantic interest was heavily into playing games of hide and seek, which you suspect are more about his emotional insecurity and the fact that he’s got a history of failed relationships behind him than the outward appearance of him just being an abusive narcissist with a god complex, and what if after remembering that his prey (you) is not a pathological masochist, but in fact someone who deserves to be treated with gentleness and respect, what if he suddenly began the seeking process again and all traces of the monster were stored away for the next time he got scared? What would make you happy now?

Love doesn’t go away but like all energy it has the capacity to transform.

Taking the path of least resistance is not always clear because choosing joy now can lead to pain later if you are not vigilant. In our scenario it’s worth noting that reaching out, though forgiveness releases all parties from lower vibrations like resentment and bitterness, allowing the hidden monster back into your life just because he smiles and says please (or not), wouldn’t be an act of forgiveness it would be an act of stupidity. You can respect a shark and still know to keep out of the sea where it’s swimming.

So let’s take a look at the real path of least resistance. Abstinence now can lead to joy later. Finding happiness in abstinence, through acceptance of your own strength and self-love, rather than from the temporary relief from grieving that reconnecting might bring, leads to celebration… achieving the things you put on hold whilst neck deep in the drama leads to more happiness still.

We mostly search for relief from a lack of understanding by asking “why?” “Why did you do that?” or whatever, “Why me?” or “Why won’t you give up?” is a good one, but ultimately none of those questions will change anything. Accept where you are, let go of what has proven over and over again to be painful and unhealthy and walk away… set both of you free… you don’t need to save the next woman from the monster, that’s her lesson to learn… save yourself, trust me you can’t save him, he doesn’t believe the monster exists.

My mum once told me that monsters weren’t real. Now I know the truth: every little boy and girl contains the capacity to become a monster or to become a Grail Knight that knows better than to engage in a contest with the ones that were so damaged that the monster had no choice but evolve to protect them.

My path of least resistance is to send real love to my ex monster from a safe distance, to send healing and understanding to a damaged little boy, but to cut off all methods of contact and flow towards my own happiness… happiness that doesn’t depend on him or on knowing why.

A very personal post today, I know. I hope it inspires at least one of you to find another way that doesn’t depend on abusive relationships.

More later… x