Tag Archives: Manipulation

Monday Mind Manoeuvre – Remember Who You Are

I will finish the last two parts of the Modus Operandi series a little later but something came up that I thought important enough and wanted to explore, it’s to do with losing yourself in a relationship and how to remember who you are.

Now before I go any further I should mention that I have a someone special and he tends to read all my posts (and then deny it) so on that note I want to say this is nothing to do with he and I (lest he panic that we have an problem) and simply about the plethora of counselling I’ve been doing in the last few days in every direction as well as observing among the masses on social media etcetera.

Now let me first get you into Wholly Grail territory by reintroducing Principle 1: I AM God, along with Principle 7: I AM Open-Hearted. Theses two Principles are the basis of relating from an empowered state.

What you observe in your outer world is a reflection of how you feel in your inner world. Your outer world often affects how you feel… catch 22 you might think, but here’s the thing: how you feel is a result of what you think about what you perceive, so then it stands to reason that if you choose different thoughts the feelings will alter which will in turn transform what we observe.

That sounds complicated but truly when you remember nothing is personal even when it is aimed at you, it is just a projection of the thoughts and feelings of another that you receive according to your state of inner peace and empowerment. If you are feeling like a victim then everything will seem to be an attack, if you are feeling like a hero everything will appear to be an opportunity for learning and healing even if the outer circumstances are identical in each case.

Principle 1 asks that you see yourself as a spark of divinity and that you see that same light in everybody else regardless of the outer conditions.

Principle 7 asks that you let go of all attachments in order that healing may occur. This doesn’t mean walking away from relationships that are nurturing and mutually beneficial  most of the time, it means letting go of the fear that they might end. All things end, the question is, do you want to squeeze the life out of it quickly by gripping, manipulating and controlling or do you want to love and laugh and learn your way until death do you part?… That’s what it means: death simply means an ending, any ending.

Drop the victim stance by recognising you hold all the power… over yourself and what you choose to place your attention on. If you contrive to fix, change or manipulate the significant other in your partnership to see, do or be what you want then you are trying to exert your power over another and the battle will commence or the rift will widen… let them be who they are, even if they are currently in victim mode, don’t ever be tempted to meet them at the bottom, instead lift them with your example of understanding, compassion and gently hold the space for them to step out of their shadow and into the light where you will be waiting with open arms and an open heart… and maybe next time you slide down the scale and forget who you are they will do you the same courtesy.

Wishing you beautiful nurturing relationships today and always.

Big love until later… x

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Friday Confession – No Longer Hiding The Source Of All Light

Is Friday a good day for a confession? Well ready or not, here I come. The truth, as it is for me, cannot remain suppressed. I’m no longer hiding the source of all light.

I’ve previously been holding back on some of my posts simply to avoid upsetting someone. Knowing that my words can trigger insecurities in those with whom I have a close or karmic connection, and avoiding conflict as best I can by occasionally pussyfooting around issues that might be deemed contentious or taken personally, misread or deliberately twisted to mean something else…

How many of you do that? How many of you dim your light, lower your voice, stay hidden, just so you won’t rock a boat that you are actually being held to ransom in? (That’s a metaphor obviously).

Principle 2: I AM Detached is the part of the Grail that I find often trips up all who begin the journey consciously. At its core it refers to unhitching your attention from a specific outcome, whether that be a repeat of what’s gone before or a desired future destination doesn’t actually matter, when you specify how you want things to turn out you manipulate the path towards it.

By withholding a part of who you are, effectively dimming your sparkling essence, you are manipulating how people see you. Sometimes it’s to protect them from their own shortcomings but more accurately it’s to protect you, either from your own fear, or deeper than that, your fear that their shortcomings and therefore reactions to who you truly are might cause them to dislike you, ridicule you, argue with you, get angry at you or abandon you.

This is where Principle 4: I AM Truth kicks in. They have to do what they have to do. They will always act or react from their own truth however different from yours that may be. Once you have let go of your attachment to the outer goal though, their reaction no longer holds any sway over you. That’s not to say you want to deliberately hurt anyone or offend anyone. If causing harm is your intent then you’re reading the wrong blog. What it does mean though is that you no longer have to continue trading your comfort for someone else’s.

And now we arrive at Principle 3: I AM Human. The art of forgiveness begins with the recognition of a fragile being. That’s what an ego is, it’s a child in pain doing its best to protect itself from the world it perceives as a harsh environment in which it has to fight for it’s own place in existence. The ego, when it feels attacked, slighted or unheard, loses sight of the Soul parent to which its bound and has no concept of how to truly protect itself in a peaceful manner so then it must fight to stay alive, to take power away from its perceived threat… it has forgotten that it has access to the power of the universe through its Soul-Self and will therefore usurp the light from wherever it shines externally… The ego sees only through physical eyes and cannot observe anything through the eyes of the heart. You must love the child despite its attack on you, only love can save it, anger reinforces the cycle of fear.

You are the source of all light. God shines through you (each and every one of you), but His frequencies change and become unique with you as a filter. Not everyone will be attracted to your light frequency (your truth). Some will be repelled by it, others will attempt to reconcile the difference by changing their frequency to harmonise, whilst others still, will try to force yours to match theirs… but the rainbow of truth that is humanity, it’s diversity, is the whole truth. From God’s eye view the pattern is perfection.

Now, to those who love me but would have me fit their mould I say this…

When we arrive at Principle 7: I AM Open-Hearted, we will have adopted an attitude of balance where we can truly see the beauty in all the light frequencies that blend and dance in a constant exchange of give and take. We will begin to learn from each other instead of taking from each other, we will begin to cherish the exposure to a beautiful array of fresh new ideas that compliment and contrast causing co-creation and eventually a brand new truth, a blended truth that has a frequency all of its own, it has a name…

It’s called love.

More later…x

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Sacred Truth

Ambiguity is not your friend. When it comes to getting what you want, whether it be in terms of material manifestation or simply in the way your life and the people in it show up for you, clarity of intent is key to ensuring an outcome you will be delighted with.

Principle 4:  I AM Truth is not just a spiritual concept but a powerful mantra to live by and one that is paramount in the co-creation of an amazing journey. Though it is, as are all The Grail Principles, applicable to everyone and therefore the truth becomes subjective, I want here to focus on my truth because that’s the only truth that can possibly have meaning for me (as yours would be for you). Having an open mind however, I’m prepared to allow my truth to evolve and flow as new knowledge enters the arena of my perception… that being said though, my values, the basic presets for my experience, take far more convincing to shift than the emotive ideas that may swell and fade with the arrival of new information.

When your values are ambiguous you become as an untethered balloon being battered around with the gentlest of breezes, allowing yourself to be dictated to, ordered around by the nearest loud voice and somewhere in the chaos your truth morphs into someone else’s and your life becomes unrecognisable… you essentially become a prisoner of someone else’s rules and standards.

Defining your values isn’t necessarily an easy task until you find them being challenged, for example: can you list your values now? No? Some may say that even values are simple programming and can be undone, but for me, values are a set of core beliefs that define who you are and when someone wants to take them away from you, your soul cries out to warn you that something is so very wrong and the culprit does not match your criteria for a happy life.

Finding out you have opposing views with someone you’re invested in is one thing, but finding out you have opposing values is a clear sign that you’re incompatible… that’s the point when you must ask yourself the most poignant question ever: are you prepared to compromise yourself out of fear of losing something that in reality will be the very thing that causes you to lose yourself?

Ambiguity is not your friend. If you want your needs to be met, get clear about your values. Your deepest and most sacred truth is and always should be Principle 1:  I AM God… Don’t compromise on your God self… He would never compromise on you.

More later… x