Tag Archives: Grief

What To Do When Your Chalice Spills

There is one fundamental truth to the Grail Path that cannot be avoided when living a physical life, (which if you are reading this then presumably you are): You cannot keep the Grail. It will inevitable be upturned at some point in your life and you will need to begin to refill it from the bottom up. But do you know what to do when your chalice spills?

Loss of vital lifeforce

Put in plain language, life throws you curve balls in the form of challenges, endings, illness and a whole host of other shocks and spills that will cause your world to rock internally and transform right before your eyes. These are moment when you aren’t sure you can go on. It is certain that life will not allow you to go on the way you were before, because now your reality has shifted irrevocably and you have to learn a whole new set of rules in unfamiliar circumstances. Before any of that can happen in your outer reality, you have to heal the initial spill of your vital lifeforce …and that is going to take a beat.

When shock shows up in your world and your Grail cup is upturned, it’s a usual response to try to do one of two things:

  • Attempt to gather the scattered contents and get back what was lost or
  • Fill the chalice with anything and everything inappropriate to distract from the emptiness and avoid feeling that loss.

A more effective method

Let me just reassure you that neither of these responses is wrong… there is only instinct and survival under these circumstances, but there are more effective ways of recovery.

Try to understand that the sacred chalice is never completely empty even when it appears all is lost. There is residue clinging to the sides. Depending on how much self- work you have done on your path, that residue will either be supportive or detrimentaal to whatever you choose to refil the cup with. That residue is in the form of memories, beliefs, gratitude or regret for example. You first need to give the mind, body and spirit an opportunity to process the residue and that means being brave enough to stay empty for a time.

Honouring the void

Staying empty means leaving a void and that void is filled with healing nurturing potential. The longer we can honour the space, the more complete the healing, before we begin to refill the claice with new stuff. This doesn’t mean pushing away the offer of nurturance and support, but it does mean rejecting the more socailly acceptable distractions (usually offered by others to alleviate their own discomfort around your situation). this is going to take forgiveness and firm boundaries.

Instead, this is what to do when your chalice spills:

  • Give yourself permission to feel
  • Give yourself permission to be
  • Focus on the basics of self-care (Self-Full Living)
  • Don’t apologise for yourself
  • Don’t minimise your emotions to honour the feelings of others
  • Don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s
  • Ask for help from appropriate sources
  • Take time out until you are ready
  • Honour the sacred redirection the Divine is offering

The chalice often spills out of the blue. Occasionally we are aware of the incoming changes, but can do nothing to prevent them from occurring. The more you understand the Principles of The Grail Path the more tools you have to anchor your faith in your ability to heal and set the Chalice back upright, ready to refill after a time. You will be to go on to do the great things the Universe created you for, don’t doubt that for a second.

Love, Jo xxx

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Handling The Process of Liberation

I can’t begin to describe to you how difficult and yet strangely comforting the last week or so has been, as I have been launched unexpectedly into handling the process of liberation. The sudden death of a loved one around the time of the new moon, a change in direction over an elderly parent’s care and a hiccup in my own health, have all pushed me to re-embrace parts of myself that I had mistakenly cast aside in the melee of daily life.

Liberation is sometimes a gentle letting go of the things that we have outgrown, but oftentimes it comes as a shock ending of something that we naively believed would be there forever. Nothing in nature is permanent and we are therefore advised in every spiritual tradition to live in the now and attach to nothing.

Human nature though, has us forming bonds for our own survival, a hang up from the days when primative tribal mentality was still the norm across the entire globe.

As we are jolted by whatever means from our intrinsic trance-like state, just long enough to see clearly the bigger plan that is subtly shielded from us in order that we continue along our daily charade, we are forced to look at our own mortality and our own sense of posessive ownership of the things, people and connections around us. Even our own bodies are on loan from the universe, as a vehicle for exploring the realm in which we find ourselves. But it’s a beautiful game and one we were falling over ourselves to be a part of no doubt.

Handling the process of liberation though, is a game of slowing down and getting to grips with where you are. I have found myself speeding up, leaning into the experience of expelling the unwanted… not gripping, not resisting but in complete opposition… forcing the process to continue. Daring the universe in a bold “let’s just get on with it then” kind of attitude. It’s not the way.

If you are handling this letting go process or finding yourself in a grieving stage, be mindful that Source has a timetable, one that is designed for you to handle even if it feels like you are falling apart (or holding it together). You are not in control of the speed at which the universe purges your karma or even how long it will take to reach your destiny.

Be prepared to let go… don’t rush forward, don’t hold back… let nature take it’s course and you will arrive exactly where you are meant to be, exactly when you are meant to be there.

Now is the time to practice extreme self-care (Principle 6), self-love (Principle 1) and forgiveness (Principle 3).

Allow yourself to feel.

Jo x

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Healing Your Life Through Exclusion

My insights are a reflection of how I use the Wholly Grail in everyday life (or forget to) for healing, peace and gaining a deep understanding of firstly myself and then of others. The quality of the writing inevitably varies depending on which phase I’m in and what I’m feeling about it. Wisdom comes through accepting that all has value and even the darkest experiences show the way towards the light if you so choose to search for it. If the Holy Grail we all instinctively search for: inner peace and enlightenment, is a place within, where connection to our own spirit and ultimately God or whatever your particular name for All-That-Is may be, then the seven Principles that make up The Wholly Grail are the quest to remember our wholeness and that we never were separated from it in the first place.

What essentially masks that fundamental truth is the multitude of external moving parts distracting you from the foundation of your faith, which is simply that everything is as it should be regardless of the temporary discomfort. Acceptance is key to transforming the balance of power the external world appears to have over you, exclusion is the initial step to retrieving the power that is been drained.

Healing your life through exclusion is basically the process of disconnecting or detaching from all influences that cause you harm… detoxing from external drama.

Imagine if you had an allergy to chocolate. Eating chocolate might make you really ill at best, kill you at worst… it stands to reason that you would eliminate all chocolate products from your diet, right? You’d quickly become super vigilant at reading labels in the supermarket and return any items that contained your particular toxin to the shelf… it’s the same with external drama, get super conscientious about reading the labels, the warning signs and the red flags, put it down and back away slowly.

No man/woman is an island of course, you cannot completely remove all negative stimulation, to do so would create just as much drama within when isolation became a trigger for your discomfort, this is why discernment is a necessary skill to learn quickly on the Grail path.

Having received the shocking news of the death of a close family member this week it has been necessary for me to begin healing through exclusion. Normally my ‘take control’ attitude would have me charging in, taking care of business, but my guidance at present is to stand back and as gracefully as possible continue to tend to the details of my own life, to continue to do the simple things, fully aware that drama is occurring within my field of vision, compassionate and loving towards those suffering, but mindful all the while that their drama can intensify my own and that I have a choice to heal faster by honouring my truth.

Overcoming grief requires practicing all 7 Principles but healing your life through exclusion requires mainly one: I AM Self-Full (Principle 6)

More later… x

A Grail Knight’s Guide To Handling Heartbreak

There are times along the path that you feel like you’ve completely lost your way. Times when something or someone has such a profound affect upon you that you become disoriented because the inner compass you rely on for direction is spinning with emotion and true north fades to a distant memory, lost among the turmoil of inner thoughts and processes.

How does a Grail Knight deal with heartbreak?

Many years ago I was introduced to my shamanic power animal, Mother Jaguar, a beautiful velvety black big cat with emerald green eyes. Her job is to walk as my constant companion… I was told that if I ever lost the path I should look to her, where I should go she would follow, if I didn’t know the next step she would lead and if I ever completely lost the way I should retrace my steps back to see where she was waiting patiently and there would be the point where I took a wrong turn, so that I may choose differently.

So ok, that’s how I find my way back to the original plan, the path as it were was simply constructed from a series of hopes and dreams and the individual joyful steps towards creating/achieving said hopes and dreams… but that doesn’t answer the question of how a Grail Knight deals with heart break does it?

You leaving the path is one thing but supposing one of the requisite parts of your plan (or your hopes and dreams) leaves the path instead? Suddenly your path becomes unbalanced, lonely, treacherous even. You cannot visualise how the dream can come to fruition without that significant cog in the machine playing its role the way you hoped it would… now the goal itself looks like a lesser version of itself and you’re not sure you even want to pursue it… in extreme cases it might be the case that you have no inclination towards pursuing any dream at all, such is the blow, the loss… but that’s what happens when you presume to understand the finer details of manifestation, the details that only The Divine Orchestrater has any real power over…

The heartbreak is a result of attachment, the blatant disregard for Principle 2: I AM Detached and its lessons in being present and not projecting into the future, but this isn’t a lesson in “I told you so” it’s a lesson in healing…

A Grail Knight feels pain simply because a Grail Knight is human, like all other humans. Heartbreak has to be felt, processed, worked through. Principle 3: I AM Human isn’t a “get out of jail free card”, it’s a genuine vessel of grace, forgiveness and compassion offering a place of respite when we get it wrong. A place to heal without recrimination or self judgement and a place in which all parties are free.

So what is a Grail Knight’s guide to handling heartbreak?

Breathe. This too shall pass and the sun will rise again tomorrow. Take off the armour for now and surrender to what is… the why changes nothing, don’t search for it. Should the cog decide to rejoin the path at a later juncture, leave the door open for in that lives the essence of an open heart. And if by some miracle this is the case then the why can be explored to ensure open communication can recommence embracing “I AM Truth.”

I found Mother Jaguar sitting way back at a crossroads…”This is a really nice place to sit and wait” so here I’ll take off my armour, sit and breathe, heal, perhaps shed a few tears, surrender and wait for Divine Direction on the next step.

I AM Human.

More later… (maybe, if it’s still the path) x

End of The Blame Table

Having just awoken from a particularly violent dream and still feeling a little shaken by the apparent underlying emotion of anger that must exist within me in order to allow my subconscious to enact such visions of potential rage, I’m intent on unravelling a part of The Grail that on some level I have yet to reconcile with.

I AM Liberated. It seems a ludicrous statement after my opening sentences but as “I AM” gives a command to the universe, if you use the term often enough according to the laws of the universe you become what you constantly attest to be.

Principle 5, in this case disturbing my sleep, is about letting go of things that are no longer meant to be a part of ones journey. When somebody or something leaves of its own accord, my ability to let go is what’s known as an open door policy, you come, you go, you stay a while or you don’t, I grieve, I move on. What happens though when that thing or person is taken away?

Blame is a horrific sentiment and was the route cause of my bad dream so that’s where I’m starting my cleansing process today and I’m starting with the ultimate detergent: Principle 3: I AM Human. Principle 3 embraces the art of forgiveness and in this case it’s me that I need to forgive, firstly for the underlying capacity to hold such darkness as all human beings do and secondly because the questions like “Did I do the right thing?” “Should I have fought harder for what was mine?” “Did I let down someone or something that needed me?” These questions are all punishments that I don’t need to endure and whoever sits at the other end of the blame table has a unique perspective of human need and naivety that warrants the same level of forgiveness.

So on that note, today I wish you a day of self-forgiveness, liberation and peace. May you be blessed inside your own Grail.

More later… x