Do you think JC would have ended up on a cross if people actually knew how to resolve their differences?
I have to confess my post has little or nothing to do with Easter or the crucifixion story, it just seems appropriate to mention Master Jesus at this time of year and ask what he would do… unfortunately for him he was unable to make the other party hear him (probably because Mercury had slid fully into its impression of Michael Jackson’s moonwalk going backwards across the sky and sending communication into a tailspin of misunderstanding, misinterpretation, misrepresentation… in fact just ‘mis’sing the point entirely.
So conflict resolution then?
From a Wholly Grail perspective we may have to throw every one of the 7 Principles at the issue but lets start with Principle 4: I AM Truth…
This Principle should not be deliberately used to prove who is right and who is wrong, it is a universal statement, available to all to make the point that from any one persons point of reference the truth looks very different and so your truth and mine may not essentially match. Let’s start there.
We all make assumptions during conflict about what the other persons agenda is, we imagine their motives from our personal perspective… we are inevitably wrong. Just ask.
“What do you want?”
“What outcome are you hoping for?”
“How do you see this situation resolving itself?”
Remember now that all external conflict is a reflection of an internal conflict that we each have going on too. A battle between your higher self and your ego is in progress all with the intention of protecting your best interests… they just don’t know how to agree on the best course of how to make that happen, so externally you do battle with whatever appears to be threatening your sense of safety.
Victory in conflict is an illusion. For someone to be the victor, someone else has to be the victim… for every winner there is a loser, unless the warring parties learn to listen, and to be honest in their representation of the real issues underlying the antagonism they have towards each other.
Resolution is never the hidden agenda. Winning is. That’s the thing that needs to be determined: “What’s your definition of winning?”
Only compromise can create true resolution and that has to be about two parties coming together to create a win/win scenario.
Love must be the agenda.
This is where we slap in Principle 2: I AM Detached, this allows us to let go of the tight hold we have on our chosen outcome. Follow it with Principle 1: I AM God, without being able to recognise the divinity in your opponent you will never be able to see them as anything but your opponent and therefore you will never truly recognise that you were always on the same team: family.
Now we need the final piece… Principle 7: I AM Open-Hearted, quite simply the perfect balance of give and take.
Whilst this is all very well, the vital ingredient is this:
It takes two people to pull up a chair at the negotiation table… you cannot force a closed mind open, so if that doesn’t work, one must take JC’s approach and turn the other cheek… (and someone ends up crucified).
More later… x