Is the current climate of separation tempting you back into situations that you know you left for a reason?
After a week of very telling conversations, I felt drawn to write a piece today that would minister to those tempted to return to unfulfilling situations simply because the circumstances we are all experiencing at this time might be clouding judgment. Honouring yourself means exercising discernment in a time of separation.
Loneliness and the discomfort of coping alone might be a factor in the decisions we make at present, but do you remember why you moved on from those you are now considering returning to? Has anything really changed other than the feeling that you don’t want to do life by yourself?
The Grail Path requires you to place yourself as the sovereign of your own life. Ultimately this means that you step into power and take responsibility for the life, love and wellbeing that you want. It’s easy to romanticize the past and look through rose tinted glasses when things feel hard. This is especially so at present when, if you know anything about astrology, Venus has just entered shadow before retrograding for the longest period in 12 years. She isn’t asking you to go back to what was though, she’s asking you to go back and learn from those relationship mistakes and master it this time.
If you are focused on the past, thinking it was the good old days, then you are wandering into dangerous territory with Principle 2: I AM Detached. If you are projecting into the future thinking things will be different this time, then you better be sure that you have done the work. At the core of your decision needs to be the clarity of what you want, need and expect… not from others but FOR yourself. There is a big difference. If you are expecting others to provide for your needs, you are not being Self-Full and you are setting yourself up for disappointment, especially if that same person came nowhere close to fulfilling your requirements last time around.
Ask yourself these questions before you jump back into a relationship, friendship, partnership, situationship or entanglement again:
- What has changed about you?
- How are you going to handle the situation differently this time?
- Have you clearly understood what the other person’s expectations of you are?
- Are you prepared to meet those expectations?
- Have you got a clear understanding of what your boundaries are and how to enforce them?
- Have you made your boundaries clear to the other person?
Notice that all these questions are focused around you. You cannot control, or even accurately measure, the other person’s growth since the last time you connected (or parted), and although I am all about forgiveness (Principle 3), forgiveness is not free reign for more of the same.
The book I’m currently writing focuses heavily on this subject and guides you to honour your self-worth and remember that you are God presented in human form (Principle 1). If you allow yourself to accept less than reverence and respect from another in any of your relationships, then you allow the desecration of your most Sacred-Self.
Discernment in a time of separation needs for you to honour your own vulnerability and sit with it. If, when all this separation falls away and you return to your most powerful, you want to return to old relationships too, do so from a place of empowered respect for your heart and soul and not from the disempowered lonely ego, craving comfort, (that ultimately knows that familiarity leads back to discontent).
If you need more guidance at this time why not book a session?
Love always, Jo x