Tag Archives: Direction

The Opposite Of Happiness

It struck me recently that at times life appears to herd you into a pen or down a narrow funnel into a situation that you didn’t choose… well at least not consciously anyway. Although at these times you’re focused on a desired outcome in one direction, your life around you seems to get tighter and tighter where you took your eye off the ball. At these moments you are forced to scramble to save what you have or to let go completely and lose everything, potentially risking bag lady status. 

One of the problems at these junctures is that there are no guarantees at all of success in either direction. Focusing on saving yourself from falling guarantees a repeat pattern but not an improvement, and letting go completely guarantees losses but no actual gains. The only real guidance you have at a time like this is how the journey feels.

Fear is the shepherd that will coax you towards the opposite of happiness, but it can disguise itself as temporary relief. Relief is a skilled liar that will lull you into believing all is well when really all that is occurring is a short stay of execution. Dramatic I know, but think about it… are you scrambling to save everything you have because you are afraid of having less? Isn’t that settling for mediocre?

The Wholly Grail’s Principle 5: I AM Liberated asks you to let go of all that keeps you from living your most precious dream, and holding onto the opposite of happiness just because you are terrified your most precious dream cannot possibly exist is exactly what prevents it from existing.

I haven’t got the hang of it yet… I realised last night I was scrambling towards the opposite of happiness because it felt safe. I realised I was trying to save something that drained me, made me feel less than the miracle maker that I am, just because my most precious dream is showing no signs of manifesting (if it did I would jump without hesitation into the abyss of bliss). So I asked Big G this morning, “God, help me to be brave enough to risk it all for happiness.”

…and then I went out and rescued what I already had, just in case He isn’t quick enough with the answer. (Principle 3: I AM Human)!

Be braver than me, stop heading towards the opposite of happiness.

More later… x

Midweek Musings – Ascend To A Higher Altitude

I have truly been making some bold moves behind the scenes lately, shifting my consciousness, my focus, my attitudes and my intentions to a much more authentic version reflecting my inner drives. Outwardly, to most onlookers, the adjustments may appear minor or they may not have noticed anything at all, and that’s ok by me… we wouldn’t want to scare the natives would we? Others have been clued in on my intentions, my position and my true feelings about life and what I want from it and I’ve left them to ponder the implications at their own pace.

There was a time when I would have freaked out at this stage and spiralled into high drama, allowing my own internal gremlins to take control of the conversation going on my head about how others might react or feel about my revelations, but something about where I am now is pleasantly indifferent to what people think of me, even those that truly matter… it is just how things are and the way I am now. That’s not to say that how they feel doesn’t matter, of course it does. I am all about feelings, that’s probably the part of me that has evolved as I have shifted my focus further from logic and deeper into my own intuition… I should probably say devolved as that’s where I began the journey and have come full circle… or have I?

Imagine standing on the side of a dusty road having just woke up. Along the road to your right, off in the distance is a dense forest and off to your left in the distance is a high mountain. The road appears to end at each natural obstacle but you have no way of knowing that for sure without exploring further. You have no recollection of how you arrived at that spot, as if you had simply been dropped on the path in your sleep. The terrain is unfamiliar and familiar at the same time but you have no compass or definite points of reference so really either way could be forward and either way could be back the way you came… which way do you choose?

Does it matter?

The more relevant question here is what do you want? For me its about ascending to a higher altitude so my choice has to be to head towards the mountain, so to speak. It’s a risk for sure because I have no idea how to climb, if the path continues, if there will be help along the way, if there are resources to support me, shelter to protect me etc. I know the forest has those resources but in the dense darkness that exists there will I ever see the sunshine again? Perceived safety isn’t always the best option… I have no idea what’s lurking in those woods: confusion perhaps or even madness?

We perceive the road as a straight line when life tells us always that the road is a circle: beyond the mountain the road continues, traversing other natural obstacles but eventually leading to the resources of the forest and beyond the forest the road continues taking in myriad adventures on its way back towards the mountain and higher ground. The point being, you are always heading in the right direction because the only direction is back towards you (it’s just that sometimes you have to get further away to find your way back).

As I begin to ascend to a higher altitude on this particular circuit, I’m doing so knowing that my fear of having to do it alone is just a fear… that mountain is rock solid, it looks inaccessible from the side of the road but as a foundation for building a life, it’s unshakable.

On your Grail Quest, don’t be afraid to circle back around, it will never be the same experience twice because you are different on every pass (Principles 2 & 4), it’s always an invitation to life mastery.

More later… x

 

Saturday Oracle – Destination Undetermined

Something amazing is happening this week. Not only do we officially move into a new season at the equinox, we also have the opportunity to commence a new journey towards a destination undetermined.

Don’t look at this so much as actual travel although it could be,  but more an expansion of your horizons in your life in general.

The combination of Principle 2: I AM Detached, with the transformative nature of the violet crown chakra is a gateway to the path but it’s also an invitation to grace and surrender… hence undetermined. I know, we use oracles to attempt to predetermine everything but where’s the fun in knowing it all?

We all have questions about where our actions are leading: “How will this turn out?” “What are the consequences of my choices?” for example, but this combination is asking you to trust in the ride and have faith that you are on the right path.

Expect synchronous events to reassure you that you are moving in the right direction and allow room for Source to provide the map as you go. Though you get to set the intention for your inward or outward adventure, God is providing some interesting alternative routes and detours this week that you could never have imagined on your own and that turn out to provide you with far more scope for joy, abundance, advancement and achievement than you ever imagined possible… all you have to do is let go and let God lead.

When a door opens – boldly step through, when you have a hunch or an inclination – follow it….

What if this was the week that presented you with the first real evidence that a long held dream was about to evolve beyond the dream stage? What if the only thing between you and that path was potentially battling a dragon? What if the dragon was grossly misunderstood and just wanted a friend to play with…? Let go of the what ifs and instead fully embrace the what is.

Grace is about leaving room for miracles… and you are about to be delivered to yours… it’s time to take a leap of faith towards a destination undetermined but exactly where you always needed to be.

More next week… x

Something For The Weekend – Making Healthier Choices

Previous results can often influence future decisions. It is possible to lose confidence in your own ability to choose for your highest good if you consider yourself to have been marred by past mistakes. It’s perfectly understandable that you would have pause for thought in such circumstances but overthinking can render decision making impossible. So how can you ensure you are making healthier choices?

A bit of a perspective reshuffle might be in order at this stage before we go further…

Whatever the past mistakes, experience was born of them… as was resolve and flexibility and a knack for survival, so even if the outcome you intended did not come to pass, something even more valuable was reaped from the journey you took. Taking that into account and then applying Principle 3: I AM Human (and shit happens),  you can let go of the need for controlling the outcome and instead make decisions based on their potential for adventure rather than their guarantee of a specific destination.

Start by defining your success by the experience you  harnessed from the ride, from the people you encountered and connections you made, from the ingenuity you dug from deep within to navigate the obstacles and rapids along the way, your success is so much deeper and so much broader than the outcome and besides, your small self cannot possibly get your mind around the bigger picture that Source has planned and what role your success or perceived failure plays in its orchestration.

When you make your choice, whatever it is, remember that you can make another choice a few steps down the road when evidence starts to show up of how the first one is working out. Life is constantly giving you nudges to adjust your sails so one wrong move doesn’t have to be the end of the world… (and I suspect if it was, a new world would be born from the debris).

You will always know where you are and what adjustments need to be made by:

  • Your dominant thought patterns
  • How you feel emotionally
  • Your physical health
  • Your energy levels
  • External manifestations

To make healthier choices you can take the list above and then do a quick run down of the 7 Principles to come at the choice from a different angle…

  1. Am I aware of my power in this moment?
  2. Am I fully present with what is?
  3. Am I being influenced by my perceived mistakes?
  4. What is really true for me?
  5. How free do I feel in this moment?
  6. What are my immediate and long term needs?
  7. Am I allowing and accepting of change?

All of these triggers are meant to recalibrate you back to the centre of your own sovereignty and empowerment.

Let me know how you get on.

More later… x

Midweek Memories – Finding The Way Home

When I was about 8 or 9 years old my family went on holiday to the coast. It was only a couple of years after my dad had passed on so this was a trip where my extended family decided to go together… my mum, my brother and I, plus my nan and step-grandad and my cousin (the latter three all gone back to Source now).

This was the last holiday I remember knowing how to fully immerse myself in childlike play, it seemed to be a skill I began to lose after that, but for this trip to California Sands (actually in Great Yarmouth, Norfolk and nowhere near the glamour capital of the USA), I was still happy to be just a kid riding round on bikes we hired and spending hours splashing in the pool.

Almost very child undergoes the right of passage of feeling lost and frightened. For many it’s that point where they turn around in the supermarket and mum isn’t on the same aisle anymore, moments later panic sets in, loud cries ensue and mum comes running back around the corner… mum is your safety place… after all when you’re that small you have no idea how to get home! I didn’t have the supermarket experience though, I had the holiday park experience.

I was rubbish at direction, usually because I wasn’t paying attention to much besides how much I was enjoying life and being in the moment, my brother on the other hand, he’s is the most practical minded Capricorn I’ve ever met, so 3 kids out on bikes exploring the holiday park was easy… back in 1980, kids were allowed to play out and explore, doors still weren’t locked, and nobody worried if you were gone for more than 3 seconds…

I couldn’t pedal as quickly as my brother and cousin and besides, who wants to race and miss out on the scenery? (Wisdom for life right there). So my focus is on the trees, the glorious summer sunshine and the… er? Um…?….surprisingly similar chalets… row after row after row… and where is my big brother?

Now I’m 9. Screaming and crying is not an option (so not cool) unless I fall off the bike and break something… but I don’t know this place… at least back in Sheffield I would know the way home by the familiar landmarks.  I continued riding around for what seemed like an eternity up and down rows of holiday cabins but the one where my family was did not appear. If mum is home, I couldn’t find her.

After the longest time and rising internal panic, (actually no more than around 20 mins), brother came bombing it around the corner on his bike followed moments later by my cousin, sent by my mum to find out where I had gotten to, to guide me in like tug boats leading a ship into harbour… I didn’t show the panic, I allowed them to believe I had been exploring the site and taking in the scenery… but in that one afternoon, my fear of not finding the way home was born.

As an adult I’ve learned that home is not a place or a person, it is a recognition of something much deeper, a knowing and a belief in one’s ability to survive, to rebuild and to create connections wherever I am. It’s a remembrance of my divine origin and that home is wherever I make it, with whomever I make it.

My sense of direction still isn’t much better, I navigate via angels these days, but my sense of home, though occasionally tainted by a 9 year old’s fearful memories, has expanded to include all of creation.

Principle 1: I AM God (and I can never be separated from that).

More later… x

 

Monday Mind Manoeuvre – You Will Figure It Out

Solutions seem a little elusive to me this morning as I focus on the day’s tasks that lie before me. Not the solutions to the tasks though, the solutions to the bigger things like finding somewhere to live that I feel comfortable with, understanding my relationships and where I stand within them, getting to grips with where I want to focus professionally, where to serve, etcetera, those things. There’s a really tiny voice in my head though reassuring me: “If you just take care of the little things, you will figure it out.”

I’ve learned over the last few years that the universe has plans for me that have very little to do with my own, in fact every time I make a decision to go one way, I’m met with an obstacle the size of a mountain that renders my destination not just inappropriate but irrelevant, taking me instead on an adventure that I hadn’t anticipated to realms I didn’t know existed… and all I had to do to get there was put one foot in front of the other dealing with the little things.

Is that the best way to move forward? Heck I don’t know! I’ve tried to plan and strategize and Big G (God, Source, The Creator, Tao) always seems to have an alternative route, and He has better access to the bigger picture than I do… it’s like trying to argue with gravity whilst falling!

I’m asking myself a new question now: “What is it I believe actually needs solving?”

The challenges I’ve encountered along the way have felt significant but never insurmountable, the wisdom I’ve gained as a result has been invaluable, the relationships that have sustained along the way have been a gift and a blessing and the ones that have fallen by the wayside have positively lightened my load.

If I’m honest about the big things, the solutions I’m looking for, they don’t take me any closer to the ultimate dream I have for my life, in fact they would be a distraction from it. The real solution I should be looking for is how do I muster the courage to become who I’m meant to be in order to fit into the big dream? What do I need to let go of? Who do I need to let go of? What do I need to stop being, doing, thinking?

When you know what the right questions are… you will figure it out.

If you are looking for solutions about the big dream, try asking these ones to start off:

  1. How have I underestimated my worth? (Principle 1)
  2. What history am I repeating? (Principle 2)
  3. What failures can I forgive and learn from? (Principle 3)
  4. What is my truest dearest wish? (Principle 4)
  5. What things have I created that now hold me back? (Principle 5)
  6. What actions nurture my mind, body and spirit? (Principle 6)
  7. How can I better receive the grace flowing towards me? (Principle 7).

Shift your perspective today by asking yourself if you are settling for the mediocre when you could be creating the magnificent. Take care of the small things in the meantime while you allow the universe to give you a directional sign. You were born to be amazing!

Have a great week… x

 

Fighting With The Fear Of Freedom

Years ago, weary and jaded by the corporate grind, downtrodden by the internal politics of the all-too-familiar company dynamic, unable to affect real change for myself or my employees even as a senior manager, I decided that the only logical course of action open to me that didn’t mean me collapsing into another cycle of blind apathy was to quit.

Scary shit man! I mean, walking away from the stability of a decent salary at the height of a countrywide recession when you have a mortgage to pay and no clue what to do next…

That was beginning of my placing my full trust in the universe to guide me, the start of my spiritual adventure and the unification of my everyday material life with my soul’s direction for me. I’m not going to tell you I wasn’t terrified about being income-less and dependant on my then husband’s meagre wage, but the truth was that the moment I walked out of the front door of that multi-million pound personal prison, the relief I felt melted away all the fear of lack and was replaced by sheer determination.

My first task was to decide where life was going to take me next…

That’s the crux of this story… I had to decide.

Freedom is the scariest place on Earth if you have spent your life following someone else’s rules, policies, timetables, agendas… basically towing the company line. For the first time you stand there and go: what do I do? Which way do I go? God, what is my purpose?

You are so used to having your life mapped out that you panic and latch on to the first guru that seems to have got it all together, or the family member or friend that says “do this,” or “do that.”

That very voice that had you break out of the gilded cage though, will rise up within you and scream “You lead the way. We fought for the right to choose our own path now don’t give it away!”

But you’re so used to being told what to do… and now you’re fighting with the fear of freedom. The fear stems from deep within where you have yet to understand the power of responsibility, that place where you only have yourself to blame… and once you understand that blame is a redundant emotion wrapped up in judgement and self-criticism, you can swap it out for self-appreciation that regardless of whether you succeed or lose, you took the reins of the chariot and began blazing a trail of your own into the wilds of who knows where…

And when you ask God what your purpose is, He simply smiles knowing that He didn’t have to say a word for you to find it… to find you… to find freedom the moment you decided to choose for yourself.

If you are completely lost for a direction to choose then try this affirmation instead of letting someone else choose:

“God bring me a multitude of exciting opportunities today that I may sample, and choose for myself whichever brings me passion.”

Principle 1, 3, 4, 5 and 6 (that’s a whole lot of Principles!)

More later… x

 

First Monday Challenge – Aligning The Crazy Internal Compass

It’s already March and the first Monday of the month has arrived to greet us with a challenge. Let us then meet it with an open heart and mind, not to mention great expectations.

Ask yourself a question to get yourself in the right frame of mind to enable this challenge to best serve you, the question is simple: “Am I going the right way?”

It’s not a trick question, and you may indeed be oriented towards all that is great and glorious but within you is a truth barometer that can detect the essence of a lie, denial, muddle or confusion. This internal barometer sends you messages constantly by the way that you feel, for example anxiety, apprehension, tension in the body may denote an untruth that you are telling yourself about the quality and validity of the current direction, whereas, joy, excitement, inspiration and expansiveness may be an indication that you’re right on track.

So ask yourself the question and allow the answer to arrive through the way that you feel.

Now for the challenge…

Did you just find out that your subconscious knows you’re off course? Don’t panic, the thing about this journey is that you can always adjust your heading and lay in a new set of coordinates, but the challenge is to first take a moment to check in with your compass: Source.

Altering course before you know where you wish to go or where your Soul wants to guide you would just have your ship going in circles and never having a clear indication of where you are, never mind what direction to take, so conscious contact with your higher power is the very next step to take. It’s all about aligning your crazy internal compass towards your intended outcome once you have determined what that is.

I know some of you maybe wondering what you really want out of life and have no real direction or purpose, especially if you have recently gone through a major life change or are trying to create one, so instead of specific, tangible goals, focus on how you want to feel… fulfilled, useful, joyful, adventurous, healthy, vital, loving, loveable and loved… how about those little gems for starters? Add your own and have fun with it.

Now all you need do is open your heart and mind to a new way of being, let go of everything you think you already know about who you are and what you’re capable of, and let God show you a sign about where to tread next… tread lightly and enjoy.

Happy Monday!

More later… x

First Monday Challenge – The Starting Blocks

“Welcome to 2017. Please remember to fasten your seatbelts and remain in your seat until the ride has completely come to a halt…” except it never really does come to a halt does it?

The first Monday of the year and we are all geared up for this universal 1 year (whatever that is), having survived by the skin of our teeth the “9” year of endings that felt like it went on forever at times and yet it seems just moments since I began a post with the words “first Monday of the year.”

What exactly does it look and feel like to be geared up for a year of fresh starts and new beginnings though?

Many of you will be holding your breath waiting for the new to come colliding in through the front door (and for a few it might), but for the most part this cosmic stream that we have placed power into mainly through collective intention is simply providing optimum conditions for you to create anew. The challenge here is when to begin and when to wait.

I know you’re already knelt at the starting blocks but the truth is that you may still be missing some vital information, inspiration, or the direction in which to set off running and so now is the time for reflection, meditation, consolidation and decision making, otherwise when the starting pistol does get around to firing you’ll be spinning on the spot losing vital energy.

Get a pen and paper, write down what you really want to create this year, as both tangible, measurable outcomes and as the resultant feelings and emotions that go with them… use the 7 Principles of The Wholly Grail as guidance if you like, they will provide you with:

Self- worth, Presence, Forgiveness, Authenticity, Freedom, Health and Personal Fulfilment and Balanced Relationships… that’s not a bad place to start now is it? Once you’ve got your list, meditate on it, rule out all the clutter and pare that list down to just 3 things (all the feelings, but just 3 actual goals). These are your priorities… your current hearts desires. This is where your energy should go and which direction you need to set off in when the momentum takes you.

Remember something else important too… when you set off towards your destiny, it sets off in search of you. That’s gonna be a bit shit if you’re running blindly in the opposite direction so get focused. What’s another few days, weeks, months?

When the ride sets off, it will be the ride of your life, but for now you have to wait for the rollercoaster to fill up with the component parts and players… prepare…wait…

More later… x

A Grail Knight’s Guide To Handling Heartbreak

There are times along the path that you feel like you’ve completely lost your way. Times when something or someone has such a profound affect upon you that you become disoriented because the inner compass you rely on for direction is spinning with emotion and true north fades to a distant memory, lost among the turmoil of inner thoughts and processes.

How does a Grail Knight deal with heartbreak?

Many years ago I was introduced to my shamanic power animal, Mother Jaguar, a beautiful velvety black big cat with emerald green eyes. Her job is to walk as my constant companion… I was told that if I ever lost the path I should look to her, where I should go she would follow, if I didn’t know the next step she would lead and if I ever completely lost the way I should retrace my steps back to see where she was waiting patiently and there would be the point where I took a wrong turn, so that I may choose differently.

So ok, that’s how I find my way back to the original plan, the path as it were was simply constructed from a series of hopes and dreams and the individual joyful steps towards creating/achieving said hopes and dreams… but that doesn’t answer the question of how a Grail Knight deals with heart break does it?

You leaving the path is one thing but supposing one of the requisite parts of your plan (or your hopes and dreams) leaves the path instead? Suddenly your path becomes unbalanced, lonely, treacherous even. You cannot visualise how the dream can come to fruition without that significant cog in the machine playing its role the way you hoped it would… now the goal itself looks like a lesser version of itself and you’re not sure you even want to pursue it… in extreme cases it might be the case that you have no inclination towards pursuing any dream at all, such is the blow, the loss… but that’s what happens when you presume to understand the finer details of manifestation, the details that only The Divine Orchestrater has any real power over…

The heartbreak is a result of attachment, the blatant disregard for Principle 2: I AM Detached and its lessons in being present and not projecting into the future, but this isn’t a lesson in “I told you so” it’s a lesson in healing…

A Grail Knight feels pain simply because a Grail Knight is human, like all other humans. Heartbreak has to be felt, processed, worked through. Principle 3: I AM Human isn’t a “get out of jail free card”, it’s a genuine vessel of grace, forgiveness and compassion offering a place of respite when we get it wrong. A place to heal without recrimination or self judgement and a place in which all parties are free.

So what is a Grail Knight’s guide to handling heartbreak?

Breathe. This too shall pass and the sun will rise again tomorrow. Take off the armour for now and surrender to what is… the why changes nothing, don’t search for it. Should the cog decide to rejoin the path at a later juncture, leave the door open for in that lives the essence of an open heart. And if by some miracle this is the case then the why can be explored to ensure open communication can recommence embracing “I AM Truth.”

I found Mother Jaguar sitting way back at a crossroads…”This is a really nice place to sit and wait” so here I’ll take off my armour, sit and breathe, heal, perhaps shed a few tears, surrender and wait for Divine Direction on the next step.

I AM Human.

More later… (maybe, if it’s still the path) x