Conversing as I regularly do with God yesterday in meditation, His first question to me was “What did you do?” He’s more than used to me scuppering His plans and so having to recalculate an alternative route, so I’m sure He runs multiple scenarios before He even lets a doorway or new pathway open up to me… I, for the most part, enjoy making God’s existence more difficult… or is that my existence? It’s all the same as the highest version of me is God anyway.
So, what did I do? I yelled “Enough already!” to the apparent distractions that will never be any more than just that.
Imagine for a moment that you are sitting in a small rowing boat in the middle of a vast ocean when all of a sudden a storm hits… the little boat is thrashing about and the last wave washed away your oars leaving you vulnerable and in danger of drowning… in the distance is an ocean liner. This vast shiny white beacon of hope is trapping at speed and seemingly unperturbed by the angry sea, heading toward some far away port in the sunshine… and you need help…
Screaming (inside and out) and waving your arms in the air to get the captain’s attention, hoping desperately that he will take just a few minutes and a slight course correction to pull alongside your swiftly disintegrating dingy to ensure that you will survive the remains of the storm… and there he is… Ship ahoy!
Quickly the captain acts: retrieving his set of red flags he sets about waving back at you as his ship sails on by at speed… and what does this semaphore include? Wait for it, wait for it… the most efficient way to bail out a sinking boat! Thanks captain.
This is the moment where you have to think on your feet… do you: a) keep screaming and waving your arms wasting vital breath and resources or do you b) remember you know how to swim and use that energy and deep breath to dive in and take your chances with the ocean?
God asked me another question at this point: “What do you want?” Oh so many trivial responses arose and fell within that split second but then one thing stuck… “security and guarantees.” I knew my answer was the one thing life wasn’t designed to give me but I also knew this much: staying in the boat, trying to read semaphore while the ocean liner sailed by, I was guaranteed to drown… jumping overboard there was a slim chance I might make it to the shore before I ran out of breath… but the shore is in the opposite direction to the captain’s red flags and big shiny ship.
What did I do? I dived… of course I dived. So now I’ve gone from ship ahoy! to man overboard!… and the captain can wave his flags all he likes on the brand new topic of optimum techniques for breaststroke and how to increase lung capacity on the next in-breath so that drowning is postponed a little longer. It doesn’t make any difference when you’re focused fully on saving yourself from the next wave…
The ship moves faster than you do, if it doesn’t alter course it doesn’t matter, ultimately that’s the captain’s decision.
So me and Big G are sitting there in meditation and He’s neither surprised nor pissed at me for ballsing up His master plan, He’s just smiling gently recognising that the storm has subsided and the shore is so much closer than I know… That the ocean is in fact Him in disguise… and the shiny white ship is just as susceptible to the right kind of wave as my little boat is… and that the captain wafts his red flags about because to bring that liner up close and personal… if it capsizes… well, he doesn’t know how to swim yet.
Principles 1, 3 & 6
For more info on what the basic Principles of The Wholly Grail are, check out the rest of the website at www.jojerodene.com
Right, I’m off now to take mum to see a vascular surgeon after her stroke last week. Thank you to all those boats that pulled alongside.
More later… x