Tag Archives: Codependency

July Oracle: First Meet Your Own Needs

I haven’t seen this combination in quite some time. It joins the vivid orange energy of the sacral chakra, the sexual, sensual and vitality energy centre, with the 6th Principle: I AM Self-Full. With this comes a warning of the need for healing and the main message from the July Oracle: first meet your own needs.

The sacral chakra is often activated when we engage in intimate interactions with others. Not necessarily sexual per se, as intimacy can simply be a caring connection and vulnerability with another human being. It can be about how we give and receive nurturance or love. That being said, when Principle 6 shows up, you are being directly advised to love yourself first.

Meeting your own needs

Tending to your own need for nurturance is fundamental in restoring your energy during or directly after times of high stress or illness. It is also the first requirement in avoiding codependent or needy relationships. As an oracle then, this combination is alluding to one or both of these two things: Either you are in recovery after illness/trauma, or you are about to enter a new relationship.

Having already uploaded the Dragon and Alignment Readings for this week (and the next few weeks to come), I can say that the latter is very likely at this time.

Self-love as a precedent

If codependency is your pattern then this oracle is recommending that you review what you have learned from the previous relationships that have come to you as teachers, then decide what patterns you do not wish to repeat. Starting with self-love and self-care sets a precedent for how others will treat you. It also gives you a good set of boundaries to recognise what you are and are not prepared to accept.

Signs you haven’t healed yet

If you are still healing from a prior connection then this is not the time to get into any new entanglements as further self-work may need to occur. This may look like blame, shame, unforgiveness and other low frequency emotions like anger and resentment. Being Self-Full also means taking responsibility for your own life, healing, expectations and choices.

First meet your own needs as a matter of priority. Only then will you be able to live, love and connect in a healthy way, without need for anyone to meet your needs for you.

What do you need to heal? What can you give to yourself today? The gift of your own love is good place to start. You deserve nothing less.

Love, Jo x

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Let Spirit Fill In The Details

Have you ever been in that situation where you feel a calling to do something different but you really have no clue how to make the transition from where you are, to where you want to be? Can you surrender the struggle enough to let spirit fill in the details?

The calling and the codependency

More and more over the last year I’ve been asked to help women with imbalanced relationships or codependency issues to find self-love through The Grail. I myself found my own way out of a really unhealthy entanglement with the aid of it’s Principles. Just this weekend, I’ve heard from four such brave women. They have either found their way out, or are waking up to the fact that they have a choice to experience balanced, reciprocal, mutual and fulfilling connections. Not just in their romantic lives, but within all their friendships, partnerships, business connections and family dynamics.

The nudge and the shimmy

I know that, looking back through my history, this is a calling and I also know that The Universe has been nudging me gently towards working more in this area for some time. The trouble is, I’ve been so hazy with the details of how I should shimmy on over into that sector without losing a beat or without compromising the bigger picture of my spiritual teaching. I was simply asked by spirit to trust and to remain open.

Control and contrivance

If you are anything like me, (control freak alert), even in the wisdom of how spirit works miracles in your life, you may still be desperately trying to contrive those miracles to make the leap into your chosen calling… but here’s the thing: the more you contrive, the more you travel in circles.

Let spirit fill in the details

I let go of the proverbial steering wheel a few months ago and just got on with the day to day task of building in the background, and lo and behold, in comes an influx of the exact community of women that I’m meant to be helping. I did nothing except surrender the trying. What did ring an alarm bell for me though, was the fact that some of them were surprised that I was the perfect person to help them and that my apparent expertise in the area had, until now, gone unnoticed.

So often people think that a spiritual teacher is a bit woo woo and airy fairy and doesn’t live in the real world. I’ve spent the last 8 years taking the teachings of my spiritual guides and angels, and as instructed, honing that wisdom into real, life-transformational tools to build self-esteem, self-love, self-worth and balanced relationships. Its all coming together now, but I wish I could say I did that… I did the background work of perfecting my craft and living the Grail for myself so that I could experience first-hand the contrast between codenpendency and self-love, but the truth is: I let spirit fill in the details.

Let go and reach out

There are two things I want to leave you with:

  1. If you are trying to make the transition from the life you have to the life you want, just keep choosing the next inspired action and let spirit do the work of bringing in the opportunities.
  2. If you are one of the brave women out there who is ready to love more and find personal freedom and fulfillment in all her relationships, reach out, I may have the guidance you need.

You might also like to check out the Dragon Reading this week for a synchronous message about healing from codependency and taking the next step into love.

Love from Jo x

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Kicked The Codependency Habit? …What Next?

Its a question I had to ask myself recently: have I kicked the codependency habit? My answer was met with two distinct voices, one of whom was singing my praises and celebrating with a resounding “Yes!” While the other was desperately waving red flags and asking: “How will I know until I’m faced with another test?”

It’s been a bit of a harrowing and yet bitterly sweet few years, learning the true meaning of what it is to not just love myself more, but to truly respect my own divinity and worth at the deepest level. This concept is the basis for the first Principle in the Grail and the one from which the power to accept all the others is derived. It is also the foundation upon which all versions of personal happiness and sustainable success in life and love are built.

I knew that. Well, intellectually at least.

It is one thing to bandy about words and concepts like self-love, self-respect and self-worth, but it’s quite another to integrate the energy of, and begin to live by the highest frequency of these conscious programmes. Until you do, nobody else in your sphere will show you how to do it… its true that people can only love you to the extent that you love yourself and more importantly that they will inevitably love you the way you show them how. By that premise, until we have integrated and begun to consistently display the elements of reverence for our own divinity, nobody else is going to.

I’ve had a little internal conversation with the voice of my red flag bearer, about the true nature of her presence… you see the fact that she’s there flag-in-hand, tell’s me that I’m still very aware of the potential for codependent, even toxic relationships and connections that comes as a result of forgetting who I am, even for just a moment. And that because of her presence, I cannot forget… so I am lavishing just as much love on that part of me as I am on the part that knows she’s overcome the greatest test she was sent to endure and not only survived, but firmly decided that she’s a much better version of herself as a result of the journey.

What’s even more special is that I now know for sure that my capacity for forgiveness is infinite. I’m not talking about the words: “I forgive you,” (although they are a good place to start). I’m talking about the radical transmutation of all anger and resentment, all blame and all shame and the unltimate liberation from any sense of attachment or victimhood. Add to that, the fact that I know it’s all been a test and that new tests will arrive, shows indications that in knowing myself and accepting myself with the same openness and compassion I give to others, stems from the understanding that nothing in this world is ever personal

If its not personal, I can play with it more. Be easy with it, be easy on myself.

Always remember you get to choose how you interact with others but it has to start with how you honour yourself. To do that you have be brave enough to say goodbye to anything that doesn’t honour you. Be unafraid of losing even the most precious of connections. If you do lose it, it was never love.

If you’ve kicked the codependency habit but are still unsure if the next adventure will go the same way, love yourself enough to say no until you no longer feel the need to silence your red flag waving reminder of how far you’ve come. She’s not your inner-wound, she’s your standard-bearer and she’s setting your standards way higher than you ever thought you were worthy of. She’s going to make sure you are attracting only the crystal clear mirror of your own self-love in another human being.

Honour her first and foremost. The red on that flag is the depth and passion of your beautiful heart. It deserves nothing less in return.

Jo x

Did you catch the Dragon Reading this week?

The Alignment Reading is also ready for the email subscribers and the link goes out on Monday’s (late afternoon) via the Newsletter… you can sign up to receive it here.