After a lot of consideration I decided to follow this train of thought to see where it led me. Being the first Monday of the month, shying away from whatever is challenging is against my self-declared process and so we must be prepared to dive deep down the rabbit hole in search of our own answers and face head on what scares us the most. In my case that would be in revealing the master illusionist.
First let us understand the illusion a little better…
Someone has led you back to the point where you fall asleep and forget that you’ve been here before. I don’t mean in the reincarnation sense of having lived a physical life in a different time in a different body, though that would demonstrate this cycle on a lager scale, I mean you are going around and around with something, never really moving forward but instead being lulled into believing you are making progress when really you are being controlled, manipulated, placated. Like placing a dummy (pacifier) into the mouth of a crying baby and whispering “there there,” as the child settles and sleeps believing, at least temporarily, that the very thing that made them cry has been solved.
The master illusionist is a comforter and the means’ by which he or she comforts are mere distractions from that which would bring permanent relief and escape from the repetition of pain and peace…
Addiction is an easy hook by which to control. The promise of the substance provides a lure, the provision of a small sample of the craved for poison buys the illusionist time… is it a drug, alcohol, food, videogames, sex and romance, shopping? That temporary relief provides the “Ah yes, this time I will have what I want and this feeling I have now is proof that it’s on its way.” And now you’re asleep once more. You’ve forgotten that you’ve had a taste of this so-called proof before and you’ve forgotten that however many times you’ve repeated “it will be different this time,” here you are again.
Revealing the master illusionist is simple: who benefits from keeping you in denial of your true situation? Who now has perceived limitations as an excuse for stilted expansion? Who has created an infrastructure set up to withhold connection and intimacy? Who has ensured nobody has expectations of them that cannot be fulfilled thus negating the chance of failure, rejection and ridicule?
There will always be mirrors of the illusionist, others sent to highlight the original, those who have identified the strings, bonds and chains. They will, offer samples of the things you crave, take advantage of the devoted clientele you provide, but the true face of the master illusionist is the one that seeks out a new source of poison when a vendor dries up, the one that finds replacement numbing agents to lull you back to sleep when the pain of being awake gets to unbearable. The master illusionist will always be YOU… and the illusion will always be that you are helpless to help yourself. Only the poison changes form and whatever form it takes you convince yourself it holds all the power.
Today’s challenge is to stay awake, even if you partake of your own particular poison, do so with your eyes wide open and acknowledge the decision consciously.
At every moment through today and this week when you choose to indulge in distraction or addiction, repeat the words “I know what I’m doing and I’m choosing to do it anyway… at least until I find a permanent solution and my freedom no longer frightens me.”
Principles 3 & 5. Later this week I might go deeper into why we fear freedom.. but for now…stay awake.
More later… x