I remember the exact moment that knew moving beyond perceived limitation was my only option if I was to reclaim my spirit, my power and my life as my own. It was the moment that after so many years of studying and even teaching The Grail, that I finally understood how to implement it in my own life. It was the day I said goodbye to the most toxic (and most life-changing) relationship I’d ever had.
It wasn’t the only dysfunctional situationship I’d been in. I could go back decades, to my childhood even and reel off all the fucked-up choices I made where connections, friendships and relationships were concerned. I had a pattern of being the one who put in all the effort.
People claimed ownership and possession of me even though they themselves were seriously low investment… they didn’t want me, but they wouldn’t let anyone else have me either. Like I was the genie in the bottle that made all their dreams come true (and their nightmares disappear), and they would take off the lid when they wanted something. Or better still, “the ring”… Golem is in fact the perfect analogy for those who filled the role of keeping me as their “Precious.”
The muse is always the depleted giver that feeds the artist so they create great masterpieces. One day I realised, I was the artist and the art. I had unconsciously chosen to become the muse. I was in fact perfectly capable of samshing my way out of the genie’s bottle and ensuring that nobody ever had possession of it again. The bottle was my perceived limitation.
- I learned just how valuable I was as a contributor and that I could choose who to contribute to and collaborate with.
- I learned that my history didn’t have to dictate my future and that the future I was walking towards was mine to write.
- I learned that “I forgive you” doesn’t have to mean “I’m still yours to play with.”
- I learned that my truth, my values, my convictions didn’t have to fall in line with anyone else’s and I didn’t need their permission to express them.
- I learned that status and imagined ownership were a prison that I held the keys to.
- I learned that my wellbeing and my happiness were my responsibility and nobody was coming to save me.
- And I learned that I didn’t have to invest my attention in anything that didn’t invest in me.
Moving beyond perceived limitations was a choice. It took me years to understand that I had one… and a split second to act upon it.
Of course when it comes to the other party in the situation, it took a lot longer for them to get the message and I’m not going to pretend that you will be free and clear overnight if you choose to walk this path of liberation. What I can tell you is that it didn’t matter after that. Freedom from dysfunctional, one-sided, toxic, abusive, narcissistic, unhealthy relationships, friendships, what-was-I-thinkingships and what-the-fucktionships is as simple as placing your attention, your love, elsewhere.
Everything you are giving to the wrong person, is exactly what you should be giving to yourself. You deserve to be loved.
Join me here to access the new Facebook Group if it resonates and you want help moving beyond perceived limitations in your relationships. Send this blog to your girlfriends too, if you know she deserves to be loved to (but keeps lavishing it all on that creep who uses her goddess power for his own ends).
If you can’t wait for the group to get going and you need help sooner go here and book a consult with me.
I consider it my mission to help you reclaim you… but you have to want it too.
Love, Jo xxx