Category Archives: Free Grail Insights

Free wisdom from the Grail path and beyond to aid you on the journey.

Are We Desperately Seeking Permission (To Just Be)?

There’s this invisible force that pushes each of us forward. It’s an imaginary force that perpetuates an internal fear. It sounds like the voice of responsibility and authority and berates each of us for not being good enough, fast enough, bright enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, useful enough… enough. We are continually listening out for that voice to praise us, praise that the voice is incapable of giving because it knows only “less than” or “lacking.” It’s mantra is born of comparison and competition. Are we desperately seeking permission? Permission to just be?

I’ve been in conversation with this authoritarian inner voice in the last couple of days. I say conversation but admittedly it’s hard to have a conversation with someone who believes you are wrong and they are right, it’s a direct violation of Principle 4: I AM Truth, and in opposition to my last post (which is still inspiring me today). The conversation wasn’t about arguing the toss with my archetypal Victorian Headmaster, more about trying to establish who the voice was within me… (can I just point out at this juncture that my shadow work doesn’t imply multiple personality disorder and is part of my Grail Quest to know myself better. All aspects of Self).

So this voice then: the Whip-Cracker, The Chastiser, The Destroyer of Daydreams… where does this draconian nemesis stem from? To understand further I had to delve into my fear of consequences: “If you don’t achieve this, then that will happen,” is how the dialogue goes.  But is that really true?

Now asking that question the voice took on a different texture, that of the victim… The Victim of Consequences… so I told the victim a story that captured her attention enough to listen. You see all my inner archetypes love stories, that is who I am at my core: a storyteller. And my stories are powerful, so powerful in fact that I believe them (we all do)… I believe the stories I tell myself about who I am and who I’m not, how well I’m doing or not doing, what’s expected of me or not, what belongs to me or not, etc. This story though, this was the story of all stories, it was the story about the crack in the universe… maybe I’ll tell it to you another time if you’re very good (and only you can decide if you are by listening to your own stories)… After hearing the story, my Victim of Consequences understood that beyond all other consequences, believing in an authority greater than your own brings the worst consequence of all.

In that moment the victim was swallowed by the story and dragged helplessly through that crack in the universe, the headmaster was silenced until further notice and the daydreamer, no longer needing permission, stared out beyond the crack allowing the storyteller access to infinite new stories available when the mood takes her to unravel them for all of us.

What is the greatest consequence of all?

For each of you it will be different: your health, your happiness, your vitality, a wasted life… for me its the ability to believe in my own story… and when my storyteller has the attention of all my inner archetypes, oh you should see how spellbinding she can be… The story is captivating, it’s a Grail Quest filled with adventure, love, laughter, wisdom and wonder… and it can’t help but have a happy ending.

Give yourself permission for all of that. Be.

More later… x

What If I Told You Everything Is All Right?

Resist the temptation to correct my spelling for a moment and instead allow the title to fully sink in. It’s not just alright, everything is all right.

Listening to an inspirational teacher yesterday afternoon as I sometimes do as part of my “getting my groove back” rituals, I heard the really ordinary platitude with a pause in the wrong place or the emphasis on the wrong syllable or whatever the correct term might be… she literally said everything is all right instead of alright. It’s the same thing, it comes from the same root and has the same intention behind it but somehow over time ‘alright’ has been relegated to that thing you say when someone is struggling, usually preceded by “there, there” and it isn’t always helpful.

How different it sounded to put a break between what was now two definite words.

For me it was like a switch being flipped inside my head and my perception filters turned up to full brightness as I reconciled any discomfort with what didn’t seem to be glowing in my life, and I suddenly began to see everything as perfect. At an imperceptible level when feeling other than enlightened, that wisdom exists but it’s easy to lose sight of it in the darkness. That’s all right too.

In the split second it took to hear that skew-syntax or cock-eyed cadence in the teachers speech, I had gone from deep gloom to focused determination and felt like the clouds parted and the sun started shining just for me. Where I haven’t felt in a while like everything was alright, I knew in that moment that everything is always right, even when it’s wrong. The notion of which is the most comforted I’ve felt in a long time and I knew that my connection to Source had been restored, my connection to me was re-established and the voice of Big G as I like to call Him/Her/It, was reminding me that I’m never actually off the path… I might get turned around a bit, I might be disoriented at times and retracing my own steps but that too is a part of the bigger plan. It’s like when you trip up in public and then get up and say “I meant to do that.” How can it be any other way if it was always the plan even if your localised human self wasn’t aware of it?

There is still dissonance in my orbit, still tainted nectar in my Grail chalice and where I once felt loving there is still irritation, but I took several aspects of my third dimensional life today and sorted through them knowing each was a perfect representation of what was causing dissension, and none of them were wrong… in fact they were all right. Knowing this has empowered me to let go of resistance and start moving each one towards resolution. That and a quick round of beginners Tai chi (being totally irreverent, non-PC and slight smutty with my names for each of the forms so I can remember them) and I feel positively chipper!

It’s not yet alright… but it’s all right. Simply put: “All is as it should be.”

Principle 4: I AM Truth… I hope that wasn’t too confusing?

More later… x


Monday Mind Manoeuvre – Casting Call

Did you get chance to read the free oracle on Saturday? It was all about the truth surfacing during dreamstate. I mention it now because I just awoke from a particularly poignant dream full of clues as to what needs to change in order for me to get the best out of this ride. It was like a casting call…

Finding myself at a television studio where senior students are about to begin rehearsing their single focus for the semester, I’m handed a script. The script is a hefty chunk of stapled A4 complete with photos of the original storyline, it’s split into 5 sections which I’m confused as to which order they come in… I don’t recognise the title, I don’t have a clue what the story is about and everyone around me seems to know the script and is preparing for the first rehearsal… and by the way, I have to deliver the news live at 6pm but I have to write it first… and its 2.30pm now and I have to first read the synopsis of the play before rehearsal…its ok, I’ll talk about hurricane Ophelia, that’s news isn’t it? The weather?… Now the list of roles is interesting because on the script notes the director has decided that I have to play the character in the style of another character who I am aware of but don’t know much about, from a tv series I don’t watch. So I flick to see what part in the play this character has and I’m not even playing the leading role… trying desperately to at least read the first paragraph of the introduction I keep getting disturbed by all the other happenings around the studio and the other students who have obviously had a head start with the script which to me may as well have been written in Russian by some apparently award winning art-house writer whose name I can’t pronounce or even spell…

Interesting dream eh?

The truth isn’t hidden here at all but I’ll put its basics a bit more clearly in case they are of help to any of you:

  • Who is writing your life story?
  • Are you the leading role in your story?
  • Are you expected to play a character (whose playing a character) or be your authentic self?
  • Do you know what your story is about and how you want it to go?
  • Are distractions deterring you from your main focus?
  • Are you delivering “the weather report” instead of the news because you’re short on time and/or inspiration?
  • Are there too many parts to the story and does it need simplifying?
  • Whose in control of your life?

…And the last one for me was the feeling that I didn’t know any of the players. In the dream the other students were all strangers and I just didn’t feel like I belonged. Having a soul family, a supporting cast, is paramount to a successful story: life story, that is.

Wow, looks like I’ve got some work to do! I have no intention of delivering the weather while “rehearsing” for a play I don’t know and don’t like, written by a writer I don’t know and can’t understand, in a peripheral role I don’t suit in the style of a character I’ve barely heard of without a cast I’m comfortable with and feeling like the only one on the team who hasn’t a clue what I’m doing and being distracted from learning by all the comings and goings of trivia… did I mention there was also wine there for a big party? Tempting, but just another distraction.

Principle 4: I AM Truth… apparently in the case of my current set up, I need to check that statement. What are your dreams revealing to you about your waking situation?

More later… x

Ps. This post was written by me, in the style of me (no characters necessary).


A Simple Truth – When Who You Are Is Enough

There’s a tendency culturally speaking, to portray something akin to perfection. This idealised version of the reality you’re living serves to perpetuate the lie that pushes every other person who has bought into the illusion to attempt to mimic it further to the point where nothing is real anymore.

Despondency increases the further we move from a simple truth. The more layers we build up to pretend we’ve got it covered when the phrase itself: “got it covered” implies hiding something fundamental beneath something superficial… like your face beneath a mask (or your whole head beneath a blanket).

I don’t have it covered today. Today is a raw day. Today is a day where I don’t feel up to par and I don’t have the strength to paste on a happy face to pretend to a discerning audience that the world: my world, is perfect. It isn’t. I use the Grail Principles just as much as I teach them and the Principles I’ve chosen today to readjust my own inner brightness settings are Principle 4: I AM Truth and Principle 1: I AM God…

I had a choice to write a post that was real or not to write one at all, when a small voice within me whispered: “All serves.” So here I AM in my rawness, in my truth… offering you honesty about when who you are is enough.

Can you be real enough to say “I live an empowered, spiritual life but some days I just can’t be arsed to get up and face people”? Can you be real enough to say: “My philosophy was born from a need to heal myself and that journey is always a work in progress”? Can you be real enough to say: “Who I AM is enough in its perfect imperfection and my mess serves me but it may also inspire others”?

I’m not afraid of my mess… it inspires me to help you through yours… it fuels the most joyful moments of my life, the most intense learning experiences and deep blessed healing…

Today I thought I’d show it to you so you don’t have to try so hard to hide yours. You are enough.

More later… x


Sir Lancelot’s Dilemma – Should You Choose Loyalty Over Fulfilment?

Remember those legends of Grail Knights of old, when chivalry was a way of life and loyalty the most precious asset to have and bestow? Remember the legendary royal court of King Arthur, and Sir Lancelot’s dilemma when it came to his love for Guinevere versus his loyalty to his king? What to do, eh?

It might be stuff of legend but it’s a common theme in today’s society… I’m not talking about stealing another man’s wife, that’s a conversation for a completely different website, what I’m talking about is a subtler dilemma that still asks whether you should go after your desires even if it means disappointing someone you care for deeply?

We all put real stock in relationships and connections. Words like loyalty, fidelity, dependability and reliability all smack of the attachment of expectations and for the most part, even unwritten, unspoken vows exist between individuals or groups of people without ever causing a big problem. Most of us are decent human beings who live by a code of personal ethics that preclude us doing harm to each other purposefully or consciously either by physical or emotional means. For example: we assume trust, confidentiality, etc. and the longer we know someone, the closer the connection, familial or otherwise, the more we assume those unspoken laws will be in effect… just ask a football fan that dares to cheer on someone else’s team or a girlfriend that dares to fancy the boy her friend likes… it’s a minefield of dos and don’t.

But what about Sir Lancelot?

His destiny, wrapped up in his desire, wrapped up in the karma of all three participants was on the line when he chose to betray his king… was he right to do so?

I’m sure we will all have an opinion on the right or wrong answer but here’s the Wholly Grail’s take on loyalty:

Principle 4: I AM Truth… it simply means that what is right for you in the here and now is the only right answer and if you deny yourself by abstaining from your most precious dream for what you feel may, or may not hurt, disappoint, confound or annoy someone else then you will have committed a betrayal that you yourself may not be able to live with.

Go after your dreams. Not everyone will support you. Some may take it personally and believe it was all about them, but at the deepest level of your soul, when the call comes, your truth is the only truth worth acting on.

Couple of small caveats to interject at this point:

1) If you know someone is going to get hurt by your actions then check your motives and double check them…  if destiny is calling, answer, if however your primary purpose is causing pain, trust me when I tell you karma’s a bitch.

2) Principle 4 comes with a sub-heading: “I reserve the right to evolve.” This means that what is right for you today may not be right for you tomorrow so look to the long term and weigh up if you can live with the consequences before you take the final leap.

In the end, desire and compulsion made Sir Lancelot’s dilemma irrelevant… destiny was calling… is it calling to you too?

Have a blessed week ahead … x

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Weekend Wisdom – The Story Of The Village Well

Let me share a parable with you today: the story of the village well, a humble hole in the ground located centrally in the square where people arrived daily to draw from its depths the very essence of life.

The purest, sweetest clean water was to be found at the bottom of this well and it served the village for centuries. So reliable was the humble hole in the ground that as the years rolled by the village’s began to take it for granted. There were those more thirsty than others that returned to the well several times a day without thought for the rate of flow of the pure sweet water at the bottom or if there would be sufficient for those who had not yet taken their turn. The constant lowering of buckets was, little by little, damaging the delicate walls of the hole in the ground at the centre of the village square and slowly but surely they were beginning to deteriorate, crashing down rocks and particles into the ancient well and slowly contaminating the essence of life beneath… but more than that: beginning to stem the flow from the underground spring.

Centuries ago, when the well had been dug, it was respected, honoured, worshipped and maintained. The hole in the ground was surrounded by a stone wall to protect its perimeter, the villagers took turns in climbing down to clear the spring and maintain the walls, the process was considered an honour and a sacred duty and celebrated with each season. After each maintenance the well was dressed and the villagers would dance around the sacred altar through which the whole community was granted life… but those centuries had past and those who remembered the tradition were long since gone or much too frail to carry out the sacred work… and those who were able were far too invested in what the hole in the ground could do for them to notice that their supply was drying up.

One morning after many years of neglect and deterioration, as the villagers arrived to draw from the hole in the ground… and a crowd began to gather (and voices were raised and heads were scratched), it became apparent that the well was dry. Blocked up? Filled in? Stupid hole in the ground… what use are you if you cannot provide water?

The angry villagers, not understanding their part in the downfall of the sacred fount, not understanding that by effort or offering of themselves, their time, their resources, they might fix it and keep it stable and pure, simply began to leave.

Packing up their worldly goods they set out into the wilderness in search of another hole in the ground to use up and disrespect (and we all know how long you can stay out in the wilderness searching for what you need)… left behind were those too frail to leave, too old to climb into the well and fix the years of neglect… and so they withered too.

The power of the pure sweet flowing water was such that after many years the obstructions were cleared and the newcomers to the village recognised the value of the hole in the ground. They honoured and protected it by building a stone wall around its perimeter, they assigned the strongest and the best to climb down and clear the remaining debris and created a timetable of maintenance along with a village fair to celebrate every season. The new villagers understood that the well needed tending and so each was happy to begin tithing  to create a “Well-ness” fund for it’s needs. They assigned a well attendant to manage the lowering bucket and monitor the usage of the well so everyone had their fair share, as a result of the regulated usage of the essence of life, the flow increased and abundance followed… and the village grew…

It’s an interesting word: “well” isn’t it?

Make of the story what you will and decide if you want to take the hole in the ground for granted or contribute to its upkeep, it’s always been your choice… Principle 6: I AM Self-Full & Principle 7: I AM Open-Hearted.

More later… x

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Conflict And Contradiction – A Glitch In The Matrix

Talking about manifesting the crystal clear vision you’ve created for yourself just beyond the veil as I was in Monday’s Challenge, I wanted to tackle another spanner in the works of bringing your dreams to life: conflict and contradiction in thought, word and deed.

If you want to slow down or even put a halt to creating your vision, the fastest way to dam up the flow and create a glitch in the matrix is to act contrary to your desire. Suppose you have created in your mind’s eye a perfect life for yourself, especially one that requires the cooperation of other people, needing them to want and visualise the same outcome. Now supposing in the moments where you mistakenly assume you are in control of the manifesting process (rather than The Source of All Things who of course has ultimate creative control on how the vision morphs into the realm of matter), and supposing in your limited capacity you have no idea how to move all the component parts and people into the necessary arrangement and alignment to pull off this multifaceted miracle… at times like this its easy to focus on a vision for which you do have control, for example one that doesn’t require the consent of outside parties to make progress.

Sure you can convince yourself that you are filling time, sure you can create something special, but that creation is always going to fall short of your true desire, leaving you feeling unfulfilled, discouraged and somewhat empty inside. That’s only half the story though: using up your creative energy producing a vision from the small self has not only blurred the original picture but has also depleted vital resources manifesting the mediocre instead of the magnificent… Besides, where did this bit fit in the original vision?

Desire is the creative fire in the universe. When you add focus and will, you cannot fail to fulfil destiny… destiny is the path which your soul is compelled to follow, but you have no control over the how, the when or the who. When you engage a desire, the universe is compelled to assemble your matrix for manifesting, but when you place your focus on a different outcome because your ego and your soul are in conflict, that’s where the building takes place leaving your desire in stasis until you choose to refocus in the main matrix again.

Since your creative fire is built-in to the soul’s drive for attainment, the inferior choice will become just that: inferior (in quality, success, etc) simply because your soul will be screaming “I don’t want this, I was born to become that over there.”

Wasted time, wasted energy, working against the Will of God, (which is always in alignment with the will of your soul: Principle 1). Where some cultures will tell you desire is bad, the truth is that desire is everything (only the attachment to it will get you into trouble: Principle 2).

In summary: if your soul desires it and your heart yearns for it then that’s the vision you should hold out for. World’s may collapse and fall while you wait but that’s a lesson in surrender and one for another time.

More later… x

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First Monday Of The Month Challenge – Peering Through To Eternity

October, Wow! Seriously? As it’s the first Monday of the month that must mean we are ready for a Grail Challenge, right? Okay, what if I told you everything you ever wanted is sitting just beyond a thinly veiled curtain and all you had to do to manifest it was to breathe it in gently, relaxing fully whilst peering through to eternity?

You would ask me what I was talking about right?

Peering through to eternity is your ability to look through the veil with crystal clear vision at the image of your chosen future.

The veil is not made of anything except your desire combined with your belief, combined with your sense of worth… pure potential. Eternity then, isn’t so much about how long it takes to bring that desire into the here and now (through the curtain), it’s more about how easily you melt into your own miracle-slipstream or come into full alignment with your vision, hence breathe it in gently and fully relax.

If you are anything like me, then peering through to eternity is really easy… I have 20/20 vision through the veil (I must have been born with special goggles), the bit I struggle with is the relaxing about it and that’s down to three important Grail Principles, the first of which is that worthiness thing I was talking about… Principle 1: I AM God. In my less empowered moments I freak out just like the average Jo/Joe asking: “what the heck makes me so special that God would let me have that miracle?” …and then I remember that I AM an aspect of the Divine and to deny me would be to deny Him/Her/Itself… ludicrous! God (or whatever your chosen name for that Higher Power is) is just waiting for me to remember that I created the vision using the same matrix that creates form (mind moulding matter).

The second important aspect is Principle 2: I AM Detached… again with that breathing and relaxing thing! You have to remember to let go of the outcome. I can hold it for so long before I start to question but as soon as I question I stress, as soon as I stress I tense up and tensing up leads the breakdown of that third important aspect of the Grail: Principle 7: I AM Open-Hearted.

To close the heart means to forget how to receive, how to allow the energy to flow to you, through you and from you. As everything in the universe is made of energy (both sides of the veil… in fact scrap the veil, it’s not real, it’s an illusion built to fool you into thinking that where you are now is separate from where you want to be just so your head won’t explode at the enormity of it), how are you going to draw your miracle made manifest into your life if you’ve closed your heart and stopped the flow of that energy? Basically you’re rejecting the very thing you’re asking for!

So then your challenge for this first Monday (of which there are only 2 more this year) is to picture your chosen reality as if it’s already here, lean into the non-existent veil, peering through to eternity and breathe life into it, relaxing all the while as you believe it’s already yours, it’s already a done deal and you’re not only worthy of it but joyously sharing in your good fortune with those you love.

Challenge made… Challenge accepted?

Let me know what you see when peering through to eternity and what so far has stopped eternity from arriving?

More later… x

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Check Out So You Can Check In

One of the most crucial Principles in The Wholly Grail is: “I AM Self-Full.”  This mantra is a signal to self that its time to focus on one’s own needs in order to keep mind, body and spirit in good health, good cheer, and a pure, clear channel for universal flow. Sometimes it’s essential that you check out so you can check in.

To check out of the day-to-day hustle and bustle for a short while, in other words retreat, is part of my spiritual practice. At times the universe requires me to make space for new learning, expansion of awareness that can only occur once you stop the flow of clutter to tune in to a purer stream of collective higher consciousness… that’s what I mean by “check in.”

At certain stages of the journey, God (or whatever your chosen name for that Higher Power might be) steers me in a direction for personal learning that has little or nothing to do with me as a teacher at this time, but everything to do with me as a student of life… my own life. The lessons shunt me into unfamiliar and often uncomfortable territory allowing me to unlock and heal parts of myself that until the Divine download occurs I had no idea were even an issue.

Checking in to your Higher Power to look deeper within is a part of self-discovery. My last few days of retreat have uncovered for me some deeply ingrained fears and patterns that I now recognise playing out in every aspect of my daily life in the outer world: my teaching style, my health, my relationships, my ability to receive the abundance of the universe… the list is extensive. And though there is momentary grief in the realisation of the obstacles I have placed in my own way, there is also now intense power in the wisdom gained through the inner journey. The Grail Knight must undergo such quests when called to do so… and we are all Grail Knights.

I’m not done yet with this time out from the world of noise, I’m not done with this time of internal exploration. Learning is an exquisite part of my own journey that I do for me… and for you.

Wishing you a weekend of incredibly poignant discovery of self.

More later… x

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Monday Mind Manoeuvre – Enter Discovery Mind

Effective communication doesn’t have to come from a place of complete understanding, it can just as easily flow from a place of seeking to understand. The difference showing up then as a series of open questions and a passion for learning and growth. In order to arrive at this innocent hunger for knowledge one must enter discovery mind.

The ego has it’s place but not in the heart and mind of a Seeker. When you admit “I don’t know,” you open yourself to the inflow of new information simply by emptying yourself of hubris and the need to appear more clued up than you already are. “I don’t know” is a powerful statement of admission, Principle 4: I AM Truth. Following “I don’t know” with a question is an even more powerful statement to the universe that you have entered into a state of receptivity and the inward rush of miracles can commence, Principle 7: I AM Open-Hearted.

Discovery mind is your default setting, you incarnated with the intent to expand and you can only do so by taking in more… more information, more experience, more energy… and this absorption takes place in stages: first we seek outside ourselves for new experience and then we seek within ourselves to understand our own truth about what we’ve learned. “As within, so without,” or “As I understand it, so shall it be.” This affirmation of perception illustrates the flexible nature of reality for any individual soul based on their current state of evolution, and your current state of evolution has been determined by a power higher than yours so why then would you need to pretend to be other than you are just so nobody sees your innocence.

We are all Seekers and we are all teachers. This exchange, regardless of circumstance, good, bad or ugly, is written into the Divine Matrix and can be no other way. Your ability to recognise your greatest teachers is simply dependent on your receptivity to the lesson… and sometimes that’s only obvious once you turn your attention inwards to attend to the second learning phase. Those of us who openly enter discovery mind reach out for new learning, but only those of who then search within will find context and understanding.

More later… x