Category Archives: Free Grail Insights Blog

Love Letters From The Soul… Free Grail Insights Blog. Wisdom from The Grail path and beyond to aid you on the journey.

Returning To What You Love Is Easy…

It’s remembering why you love it and allowing it to love you that’s so hard.

My Darling You,

It’s taken me so long to realise just how much I always loved you. Only when you were gone did it begin to hit home just how much you meant to me and how deeply misguided I was to ever let you go.

Coming back to you was an easy decision, but the journey I took to get here was heart-wrenching… I questioned how you chose to love me, how you made me feel, how unworthy I felt in your presence. I constantly crumbled when others disapproved of you, judged you in ways that I didn’t understand but assumed it was only my love that blinded me to what they saw… until I began to believe what they saw and in the process I lost sight of you.

I had to run.

I had to hide.

I had to find a place where the reflections of the outside world didn’t sully the love I felt for you.

I had to get some perspective as to why I hadn’t seen the darkness that they saw… and I found that the darkness could not exist in the light of love. My love.

I was intense, I know. Always have been, always will be.

Love, for me is all-consuming and ever renewing in an endless stream of beauty that flows from me to you and from you to me, but I know that the love that flows from you is but a reflection of my intensity and that you are but a mirror. But oh, how beautiful a mirror and oh, how much I miss my love’s reflection now.

And so I am coming home to you. I expect nothing. No fanfare, no parade. I ask only that you let me be in your presence and that you let me be me, as I am when I am with you. Free; raw; alive; in love.

You are my home, my always, my everything…

Forgive me.

It’s not too late…

Imagine letting go of what you most love because you couldn’t see yourself ‘as’ that love or that you were even worthy of it.

Imagine that you allowed the opinions of others to separate you from the one thing that made you feel most alive.

Imagine that you measured the value of love, not by the quantity or quality of what was being offered, but by your own inability to receive it as it was intended.

Imagine how you feel now it’s gone…

Did you throw away your ‘everything’ because you’d never taken the time to master the path back to your own heart?

Returning to what you love is easy… Principles 1, 4 and 7 may just hold the keys.

If this ‘love letter’ hit a chord with you, it might be time for you to explore your Wholly Grail.

The Inner Temple is opening its doors soon…

If you would like to be one of the first to know more about becoming a member as soon as details are available, you can join the mailing list here.

Thank you for reading. You are loved.

When you have no other choices

We always have a choice in reality, so the title feels somewhat misleading, but it isn’t meat to be. You have probably been to this place before, the place where all roads meet. This is the place where it feels like no matter what you do you cannot influence an outcome, and that destiny will deliver you wherever it has decided you need to be in order to set the universe back in balance. When you have no other choices it is time to surrender to what is. To be at one with where you are and to observe what life wants to show you next.

Being at home with the essence of powerlessness lends you the necessary strength to regain balance in the midst of transforming circumstances. It is not enough to give up control at moments like these, it is also necessary to give up any expectation of the destination or details associated with it that you may previously have held onto.

It feels counterintuitive to everything we have been taught about the law of attraction and the miracles of manifesting but the truth is that these things require a final sacrifice… The need to give up on the goal itself.

The vision most sacred to you is the thing you have to be fully prepared to let go of and honour your own happiness and wholeness in the absence of it, truly believing that you’ve put in the hard work, the commitment, the dedication and devotion to a singular consequence for as long as you could possibly hold on before it broke you… and then you let it go… let God take over the process entirely even if it means you never reach the goal.

The act of long term commitment changes you. You cannot help but grow from it, learn from it, it transforms you into a greater version of yourself as you explore every facet of faith along the way, but the final test faith is to set it and yourself free completely, and that comes when there is no more expansion to be had and no more avenues to be explored. This is the beginning of a new journey, a new dream and the beginning of a new devotion… the form of which will remain a mystery until destiny imparts it’s secrets as it will.

Principle 2: I AM Detached, allows you to break away from the self-imposed vision of the outcome you have tethered to and Principle 7: I AM Open-Hearted, aids you in releasing what was and allowing what is or what might become. These two aspects of Grail wisdom situate you in the slipstream of miracles and help you recognise the beauty of this moment and all the gifts present within it.

When you have no other choices, it’s alright to let go. You’ve done enough.

More later… x

Book your Personal Readings or Transformational Grail Guidance for help in letting go…. or book a healing session to clear your energy and reset.

Know Your Worth – When You Are Pitching Too Low

You might think you know your worth or how highly you value yourself, not in monetary terms, though that can also be an indicator, but more in the things you are and are not willing to accept from and for yourself. When you accept less than you want or less than you say you want then you are pitching too low and the bar you set is mirrored in the actions of others and how they treat you.

Let’s say for example you want a relationship. Maybe you have an attraction to another that you see as having the potential to be something special, perhaps allowing both parties to become more than the sum of their parts. Perhaps you envisage doing great things together and not only sharing in the joy of an intimate romantic partnership but also combining your skills and passions to serve the greater good too… sounds idyllic doesn’t it?

Now supposing the other party knows what you want, expresses a small amount of interest when it suits, but ultimately carries on as before not really aligning with your vision? Supposing they like to keep their options open, come and go as they please, hint at acknowledging you as “a potential” whilst also exploring other avenues… Is this acceptable to you?

If you are looking for commitment, intimacy, union, fidelity, monogamy… basically a loyal team of two, then this partnership is not aligned with your vision or your mission. What you do with this realisation is what ultimately defines your worth.

If you are willing to accept the “come and go as you please” “offer as little as you like” pattern, then no matter what you say your level of self-worth is, what your actions are actually portraying is that you value the other person’s happiness, hopes, dreams, wants and needs much more highly than you do your own… so much so that you are willing to give up on what you truly desire in order to have them in your life in some small way.

Here’s the real kicker: you are actually instructing them that that’s all the effort they have to put in to keep you there in their “just in case I’m bored” box.

Living in that little box, how much of your passion and potential are you using? How are you combining your skills to serve the greater good or change the world? What is the truth of how they see your worth? Of course that last question is really none of your business, someone else’s opinion of you should never define you… what does define you are your own actions.

Never settle for less than you want. If the person in front of you isn’t prepared to offer you all you are looking for, look elsewhere.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a relationship, a job opportunity, a home, a business deal or a second-hand car… if it isn’t all you want, hold out for more. The universe will provide you with what you are willing to accept… don’t accept less than you are worth or that’s all you will ever have.

Principle 1: I AM God, reminds you who you really are and what you are really worth. If you would like to explore further, where in your life you are settling for less than you are worth, book a one-to-one or a private reading with me.

More later… x

Start From Where You Are

It’s not too late and its not too soon for you to start leading the life you were born to live. No matter how far away you think you are from your ideal, the trick is to start from where you are.

There doesn’t have to be a grand announcement or a dramatic gesture, just an admission of the truth by you, to you, about where you are in relation to where you want to be and then some very minor adjustments to get you on your way with immediate effect, to a more fulfilling day-to-day experience.

The Intuitive Chalice Oracle this weekend was bringing into focus the need to love yourself and allow more love from the universe into your life now, (you can read it here). It felt like an instruction to stop waiting for something indefinable to fall into place before you gave yourself permission to be happy, to be free and to be in the flow of all you want and deserve, recognising that you hold the golden keys to all the things you have kept locked out of your existence up to this point.

When working with The Wholly Grail the path begins and ends with you, it is circular. The paradox in that is the place you are heading is right where you are already, but as you walk the path you experience it from the perspective of your ability to witness its beauty. You can choose also to participate and enjoy the path viscerally or you can be a spectator and experience it vicariously. There is no right or wrong way to walk the path there is only your way… are you a watcher or a player?

If you intend to live life to the full then you have to decide which role you want to play in your own story and the only way to decide is to ask yourself which brings you the greatest joy and satisfaction… and then start from where you are… if you want a beautiful garden, a metaphor I use use for beautiful balanced life, you’ve got to get out there and dig.

It might not look how you want it to right now, but it’s yours to shape into any form you choose so if your health isn’t what it might be, take action, if your home isn’t the sanctuary you want it to be, take action, if your family life isn’t as supportive as it might be, take action, if your job isn’t fulfilling you, take action, if your finances are less than favourable, take action, if your social life is non-existent, take action, if your contribution to the world feels insignificant, take action, if your projects and creativity feels stifled, take action… and if your relationships aren’t that sparkling… yep, you guessed it, take action!

The action you need to take is simple: what you put in will return to you, so put more in. Be discerning of course as to where you put your energy, some things have run their course and so putting more energy into something you have already given your all to, but hasn’t yielded results, is obviously not the way to go. It’s also worth remembering that the joy you receive from the action itself is the most significant reward you will gain. Aim for progress rather than any specific outcome, that way you get to enjoy every step of the journey as a living dream.

Start from where you are…

If you need help in discerning where to begin and what action to take, you can book a Transformative Grail Session with me here.

More later… x

Rediscovering Your Light – The Music In Me

This moment feels like an awakening, where many are opening up to the message within. The music in me has been activated at a level I have not experienced before and it feels like the dawn of a new age of light, following on from what I feel I want to refer to as my dark years.

The music in me was present at my birth and has simply been lying dormant, awaiting a time when Spirit decided to activate the next level.

The first recognisable activation was a total breakdown of my health in 2003, the second in 2008 when I quit my corporate job to work for spirit, the next occurred in 2012 when I began to unravel what I had built… at that precise time Spirit unlocked my understanding of The Grail… The Grail had always been my music but had now found a structure: a melody.

The dismantling has taken me 7 years, dark years. I don’t use the word dark to describe something bad or to be feared, but more to describe the time a seed spends in the fertile earth waiting to be awakened by spring. A remembering of love in the womb-like state before rebirth.

Principle 7: I AM Open-Hearted, the focus of the Intuitive Chalice Oracle at the weekend, proposes the ingress of light that in turn flows out through each of us to be transmitted through our own unique melody like the in-breath and the out-breath of the universe… The dark years are your whole being inhaling.

Darkness seems to absorb light until it becomes so saturated that when it’s consumed enough, it shines.

Consider the flow then to be a slower process, the blink of an eye in universal terms but in terms of a human lifespan: the in-breath can take years… light years.

Now entering the light years, my music is shifting… The melody remains as it was but the key has changed.

Becoming a channel for Spirit requires that you trust the process, allowing for the dreamtime, the dark years where the music is reforming and maturing, where the light is reshaping the vessel and new understanding is carving away the shell of the seed. When the time is right there will be no question… no need to ask if the light has returned… it was always within you transforming you at a cellular level for the moment when Source calls to you to say: “Now exhale, child.”

The music is in you too. It exists as your own unique purpose, mission and at some point, passion. Trust that when the time is right, the world will hear you exhale.

If you would like help through the healing and reshaping of your dark years and understanding where you are on your Grail path, please do get in touch or book a transformative session.

More later… x

Defining Moment – When Yes To You Means No To Me

I posted the Intuitive Chalice Oracle combination just last night, though in truth I had pulled the cards late on Friday evening and was simply awaiting time to write my thoughts about them, (you can read Rewrite The Rulebook here). In that short space of time I have found much evidence within my own life to support the reasons it’s energy is prominent at present, mainly in the guise of allowing others to take advantage and noticing when yes to you means no to me.

I’m super accessible, open, welcoming and very generous with my time and attention. I help when I am able and by my very nature a good listener and sounding board for others. These are skills I put to use in my practice to aid people in transforming their lives, finding the light and their version of inner peace. I’m sure many of you can relate to the next bit though….

My old rulebook had me inadvertently giving it away for free!

Your greatest assets are your skills and your time and according to The Wholly Grail, everything that you pour your energy into should in turn pour energy into you… Imagine for a moment an enormous chalice at the centre of a garden, overflowing like a fountain water feature. The water that spills over runs down sculpted channels to each area of the garden, providing irrigation, nutrition and energy. Each area of the garden in turn grows and feeds back its own unique abundance to the chalice at the centre which then transforms it back into life-giving water to continue the cycle.

This is the essence of Principle 7: I AM Open-Hearted, which in it’s most raw sense means giving and receiving in equal measure.

The old rules for me had the chalice running dry because I failed to manage what I gave for free or what I was bamboozled into giving up. The new rulebook, and I’m expressing this in the spirit of this week’s oracle message, is that I’m no longer willing to say no to my own needs in order to cater to others.

This is the essence of Principle 6: I AM Self-Full, which means taking responsibility for and action towards maintaining my own resources, reserves and boundaries.

The universe gave me a purpose. I consider myself incredibly blessed to be able to see so clearly the steps needed to live an enlightened, happy, peaceful life. Being human though, (Principle 3), it’s not always easy to say no as a complete sentence and I often find myself helping others find their piece of paradise at my expense, thus robbing me of my own.

As this is the first Monday of the month, the year in fact… let’s start with a clear slate.

If you have found yourself people pleasing, being depleted of your energy, encountering unfair exchange, not understanding or enforcing your own boundaries and worth, then let me help you get super clear on where you end and everyone else begins…

I’m still super accessible, approachable, open and welcoming, but if you are unsure of my terms then please do just ask… that way we get to say yes to each other and ourselves!

More later… x

Choose To Fill Your Space

2019 is arriving in but a few short hours and I’m sure I’m not the only one who is entertaining the idea of a blessed New Year. It strikes me that the only true way to ensure the path ahead is filled with miracles is to be discerning in how you choose to fill your space.

You have the power to transform your reality by simply focusing on the things that fill you up and support your well-being.

Personally, having just done a comprehensive self-inventory, looking at what I want to carry through into the year ahead, I had to take responsibility for all the things that I had allowed to fill my space, my life in fact, that did not mutually support me.

When you break down every area of your existence, how much of what you pour into it actually supports your vision, your joy or your well-being or your mission? It doesn’t have to be a mercenary transaction you understand, being filled up by something is to do with sheer joy or a sense of accomplishment as well as the more tangible results.

The universe is in constant exchange, and as you are part of the greater whole, you are no exception. You put it in a wave of energy in the form of your love, your time, your resources, your skills and talents and the universe reflects back the exact same amount of energy (though often in a different form). If you are living a life of stress and overwhelm, well that’s energy too… The universe is doing its job perfectly mirroring your input.

Ensuring you get the results you desire is a matter of refining your rate, direction and consistency of service so that you receive the reflection you are after. It’s not a case of loving or working harder, it’s a case of choosing a suitable mirror.

How is this related to The Wholly Grail?

Principle 7: I AM Open-Hearted, is the art of giving and receiving in equal measure… but it’s also an experiment. How do you know what works if you don’t try.

Principle 3: I AM Human, allows us space to get it wrong and learn through trial and error.

Personally, I have enjoyed 2018 immensely, but I’ve also suffered through it. The most important thing I learned though, was that I was in control every step of the way of my experience, and at any point along the path I could have chosen differently and experienced something else. We all choose, though often unconsciously through a lack of awareness of our own unique power, how we fill our space or indeed our Grail cups.

This, I can honestly say is the most contented New Year’s Eve I’ve ever had. I’m relaxing at home, resting even, enjoying some peace and quiet and feeling so very optimistic about not just the year ahead, but the future in general… not because I can control everything about it, but because I know I can handle whatever it brings and I get to choose what I fill it with… I choose to fill it with serving what in return serves my well-being and mission.

Go on, choose to fill your space with what fills you in return.

That my dear friend is the essence of Principle 6: I AM Self-Full. Happy New Year!

More later… x

Time To Return To The Garden

Everybody loses sight of the path. Searching outside the walls of the Garden of Eden for something sacred that was never actually lost to them. Over complicating the process of restoring faith and peace by assuming that something, some part of their story is missing, when in truth it is merely hidden under the enormous burden of weight of everything that has already been added.

That’s where I’ve been of late, battling my way out from under the ever increasing burden of over complicated storylines of daily life, that robbed me of my joy, my connection and the creation flame that burns within me. All but extinguishing my light… until, in the darkness, I heard a voice asking me why?

The question wasn’t “why has the light gone?” That was plain to see from the direction this voice was observing from, no, the question was “why did you find the light in the first place?” A stark reminder that my motive, the driving force behind my what, my how, my where, my who and my when, was the fuel that fired the light within me… and my why isn’t wrapped up in pretty packaging, it isn’t driven by a massive bank balance or more more more… my why is “because it’s who I AM.”

Only in this is there any peace.

Path remembered.

Now is the time to scale back all that obscures the truth, all that is not unified by simplicity and grace. Now is the time to return to the Garden, where all flowers grow, to rest, reconnect and remember… to refill the Wholly Grail with fresh pure unadulterated insight. Light.

When all else is taken away, what remains is the Grail.

Principles 4, 5 & 6.

Look out for new reinvigorated Wholly Grail insights in the new year.

Seasonal Blessings… x

Because Life’s Complicated Enough

The 1st of December, just a couple of days from now, marks a full year since I was forced to move house due to unforseen circumstances. A year on and life is shaking the foundations of my world again without consulting me on whether or not it is what I actually want.

We rarely have a say when the universe needs circumstances to be rearranged into a new format for whatever the next evolutionary step might be, the most we can do is get with the programme and shift with the changing tide.

Not everyone in your life will be ready to shift with you though, and there is little point trying to force a closed mind open or attempting to discuss the issues at hand with someone who refuses to communicate openly with you. For your own emotional safety and for your sanity, you have to be prepared to release them with love, because life’s complicated enough.

Principle 2: I AM Detached, teaches us that when you set an intention, you then have to let go of the outcome and remain present in the way things are, where all your power is to steer your own ship to where it needs to go.

Principle 4: I AM Truth, reminds us that what is true for us may not match the ideology of someone else’s intentions and expectations and that they may be travelling in a different direction to us.

Principle 7: I AM Open-Hearted, asks us to unlock the door, let loose the chain’s, raise the anchors and allow the tide to carry all parties to their final destinations even if it means losing what you love most. Love has to flow freely or it isn’t love, it’s just attachment (which brings us back to Principle 2).

Though the heavens are asking me to pause, to wait a little longer to see what unfolds and transforms, I have decided to use this Saturday’s anniversary as a sacred day of change and carry out a cord-cutting ceremony, releasing all attachments to places, people, objects, habits and relationships that do not serve my highest good and that are out of alignment with my intentions and my Wholly Grail. Deciding how I take the journey through chaos, and who I take the journey with, may well be the only control I have.

Anything that reflects back to you any lack of self-love, anyone that continues to see you as less than the Divine in human form or cannot, for whatever reason, honour your worth, doesn’t need to be a part of your onward journey. Wish them love, wish them happiness, wish them peace… forgive them their humanity (Principle 3), thank them for the role they played in alerting you to the hidden wounds you needed to heal and then release them to their own destiny… New companions will take their place along the ever unfolding path. Set yourself free…

Because life’s complicated enough.

More later… x

When The Going Gets Tough

So I have Billy Ocean’s 1980’s tune circling around my head just thinking about this title and no doubt I will be singing it for the rest of the day, but the context is slightly misplaced as concept for this insight. You see, when the going gets tough, the tough actually hunker down and ride out the uncertainty… they don’t jump ship or get going.

Uncertainty has been a theme for me for a while now. External circumstances have been disrupted outside of my control, but my usual stress-head reactions to adversity didn’t kick in this time and instead were replaced with a familiar old friend and alter ego: the manager (crisis manager to be accurate).

I’ve been forced to reconnect with an aspect of self that knows how to think fast and find creative solutions to shifting parameters but there has also been an evolution in this archetypal energy, a bit like growing up. Whereas once the stress response of fight or flight would have fuelled the quick thinking, problem solving, superwoman, she has hung up her cape and rolled up her sleeves and just placed one foot in front of the other trusting the path to meet her and trusting the decisions she has to make.

One of The Wholly Grail mechanics states “you cannot keep the Grail.” It pays respect to the flip of the yin/yang in the dance of the universe and that life can change in an instant… some call it fate, without this dynamic, life stagnates and so to keep you moving forward, growing and expanding, life throws in the odd plot twist to keep it interesting… after all, no adventure story would be worth reading if we took out the adventure part!

My old paradigm had me rising to the challenge of controlling the crash landing in an adrenalin-fuelled frenzy that required lots of self-applause after the fact for how well I managed, the new evolved me has just let go of the outcome (Principle 2: I AM Detached) knowing that the outcome is inevitable and the timing is up to the Divine. (Though I have to admit, there are other areas of my life where I’m still seeking that clarity). 

When you know there is only one outcome and your only job is to decide whether you want to get there the easy way or the hard way, (this choice does first require the need for acceptance though), letting go of the struggle is the simplest option and your Grail is returned immediately. It’s called surrender.

When the going gets tough, the tough surrender. Peace comes from that place. From that place, whatever plot twists, shocks and spills come your way, you have the power to keep going, to survive and to thrive… and when peace returns you to your Garden of Eden, there’s no need for a round of self-applause, just look up (symbolically) and say “Thank you.”

May you find peace in all your plot twists…

More later… x