Right and wrong are concepts that fall within the realms of what is considered socially acceptable, but sometimes being told you have been a bad or good girl/boy has nothing to do with majority consensus and is in fact a patronising attempt by one or more individuals to control another.
Do you fall under the title of people pleaser?
This in itself may sound patronising but I just had the misfortune to witness a crap tv show (which I should have turned off but it’s what I call car crash television: it’s a travesty but you can’t look away) in which a beautiful Golden Retriever was the co-star of the show. The number of times the main character said “good boy” whilst scratching that cute pooch’s ears was worthy of the scriptwriter being handed his or her cards… but that’s not the point…
That dog was so happy to be told he was a good boy just because he knew how to fetch.
As its Monday, many of you will be facing situations, perhaps in work, where someone appears to have all the power… how people handle power is an amazing insight into their personalities. Treating people how you want to be treated is key to building mutual respectful relationships, so before you praise someone think how you do it… its far more likely to be well received if you simply express appreciation or gratitude for the actions they have taken rather than an opinion on whether it was good or bad. Appreciation is far more empowering than approval.
So if you answered yes to the “are you a people pleaser?” question, then the chances are you are waiting with bated breath for any ounce of approval… this is a sign you’ve given your power away. Don’t despair, it’s easy enough to take it back. I have a face for that… it usually involves raised eyebrows slightly furrowed in the middle. I developed the face as a team member and then manager of a large team of employees. People get the face once and they don’t make that mistake again.
Principle 4: I AM Truth, takes courage and a good sense of who you are without the need for fitting into the good graces of others and usually requires you to let go of your fear of disappointing someone and what you might lose as a result.
Now be a good girl/boy and leave me some feedback.
I’d appreciate your feedback on this post…
Which feels better?
You have the power to decide.
More later… x