You will be judged. There are no two ways about it.
It is the human condition to quickly assess, form an opinion, draw a conclusion and then make a decision based on the available information. It’s how we survive as a species. The judgement though, is always formed through the lens of experience. Knowing this, gives you just cause to recognise that how you are judged has little or nothing to do with who you are or what you have done, but rather who the judge is and what they have the capacity to allow into their narrow orbit.
I mean no disrespect to the judge. We all have a narrow orbit.
We very quickly start scripting a story around what we perceive. Is it safe, is it clean, is it friendly, is it familiar? Does it follow the rules I’ve set for myself (or had set for me)? Does it fit into the categories I recognise? Good, bad, indifferent? Is it similar or does it present itself as “other”? Does it belong in my world?
These judgements happen within seconds and although they may actually be unfounded, once made, can be hard to dismantle… especially once expressed.
It’s the expressing of a judgement that makes it hurtful, harmful and often unfair. Silently judging is everyone’s right, (it’s actually damn near impossible to avoid), but the concept of reserving judgement is actually just the withholding of an opinion until the instantaneous picture and story you have formed in your mind has been corroborated by further evidence. It is polite to “reserve judgement” but it is not actually possible… except to keep it to yourself.
You will be judged, you will judge and you will be swayed by the judgements of others.
Now you know this you’re off the hook, (sort of).
This piece of wisdom is a golden key to your freedom because now you recognise that whatever you do, whoever you are, someone out there will judge you; you have every opportunity to give them something deliberate to judge you about.
- Follow the rules – get judged
- Break the rules – get judged
- Make your own rules – get judged
- Change direction – get judged
- Fail – get judged
- Succeed – get judged
- Fall in love – get judged
- Get your heart broken – get judged
- Do it in private – get judged
- Do it in public – get judged… And the list goes on.
It’s okay to choose your own path. Knowing you’ll be judged isn’t a reason to be paralysed by it because you will be judged for that too. Under the weight of judgement you have to just DO YOU.
If you want to live a life free from judgement, you have to do it through the lens of grace
Everything I already wrote will still apply, but this time there is a frequency shift that allows you to filter those judgements through higher perspective. We never see those we judge or those who are judging us as “the other.” We recognise the divinity inherent within them regardless of the outward appearances. We recognise that this is snapshot in their timeline and that there is a story that led them to this moment, this action, this temporary state that they are presenting. We accept that humanity is fallible and that those stories lead to conditioning and programmed behaviour that separates all of us to some degree from our Source. Knowing this we are equipped to offer forgiveness, tolerance and compassion for the human condition. Through grace we recognise the diversity of creation and thus it’s perception and points of view, we reach for understanding through learning and listening for the truth of another. It always sounds like “I am” and rarely “you are.” It is allowing and liberating and doesn’t seek to own, control, blame, shame or belittle. Judging through the lens of grace recognises and respects boundaries while it protects and maintains dignity. It offers aid and bears witness to suffering without ever deeming the sufferer as anything less than worthy.
It is true that being judged by another may not come with the gentleness that grace provides but what we reflect back, how we respond, that can come from a place of peace and compassion for our wounds and for the those who would poke them.
It doesn’t matter if you are the wealthiest, most influential woman in the world or at the opposite end of the socio-economic scale; life is always a judgement call.
You can struggle under the weight of judgement or you can choose grace.
Whatever you choose, I honour your path.
Ready to move through Judgement with Grace?
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