You might not have noticed the subtle shifts over a long period of time that your boundaries were systematically being eroded away. It’s only when you hit that point where you find yourself saying: “Wait a minute, how the hell did I get here?” that you actually stop and consciously begin to take back control of your life. Here are the 7 signs you’re taking your power back.
1. Who do you think you are?
The first sign is that you notice the liberties others are taking by overriding your choices, decisions and your free will. That wake up call has you asking (usually in your head at first): “Who do you think you are?” This is when you begin to remember who you are and that your personal sovereignty, or your ability to literally “lead” your own life, have been superceded by someone who wrongly assumes they have authority over you. You might start seeing partners, friends, sibling and co-workers in a whole new light when this realisation kicks in. I had a friend many years ago who thought she had the right to tell me what I could and could not afford to buy… very publicly! Later she began to tell me who I could and could not be friends with… needless to say she is no longer a friend and has been relegated to my “Who do you think you are?” pile.
2. The ancient history trap!
Loyalty is a very noble trait, but what happens when that loyalty, shared history and the guilt associated with letting go, grab a hold of your ability to expand and grow into a new empowered version of you? Well, the second of those 7 signs you’re taking your power back is that you are no longer being emotionally blackmailed by the people who are holding you hostage by your past shared experience. Blame, shame, guilt and other associated negative emotions, are a sign that someone is bound by a scenario that should have been left in the vaults of history. It doesn’t mean we cannot hold fond memories or learn from that history but we certainly cannot live there. When you can lovingly say to someone: “Meet me here where I am, or let me go.” You are growing and your power is flowing. You don’t have to stop caring or loving them, you just can’t stop your own journey because someone else wants to stay rooted in what was.
3. Everybody hurts!
Wow! (I have that song going around in my head now). Here’s the thing, ultimate power flows back to you the moment you realise that everybody is either hurting or hurting somebody else. That is a part of the human condition… the more we feel pain the more potential for us to inflict it on others. It doesn’t make it right, no, it just makes it less personal. When you take pain personally, you give your power to the pain or to the person inflicting it, instead of keeping your own power for yourself. When you begin to see it as a universal condition, you get to transcend it and return to inner peace. Suffering is a choice. This realisation allows you to turn the other cheek, act from a place of forgiveness and it also stops you from perptuating that same low energy in revenge, or in another direction. Your lack of response is within your power. Your forgiveness is the ultimate power that ends the cycle.
4. The vulnerable and the brave!
Authenticity is an all or nothing kind of deal. If you are willing to go all in and be your whole self in a raw and vulnerable way, you are setting yourself up to retrieve all the wasted energy you have been redirecting towards hiding your dirty little secrets! You know, like that junk drawer that has all your crap hidden in it whilst the rest of you kitchen looks like a Pintrest shot… life is like that too. And I mean everyone’s life. I once had a conversation with a friend of mine who was about to have a movie made about him. I remember him saying to me “I’m going to have to be whiter than white now…” (perhaps not the most PC wording but if that offends you then you’re not reading the right post and you haven’t met me yet). My response to him was this: “No you don’t, you just have to be honest about your shortcomings.” It made him stop in his tracks. I could hear the cogs turning in his mind and the relief starting to kick in. Who you are, what you think… that’s yours. Nobody else’s opinion counts, but if you hide it to appear to be something else, then your power is going to get sapped protecting you from being found out as an imposter. You take back your power when you say, “This is me. This is who I am. This is all there is… but I’m growing every single day so watch this space.” Now that’s brave.
5. Simplified and streamlined
Nothing says, “I’m taking my power back,” faster than the declutter! This is the systematic simplification of all areas of life and the need to streamline your time, energy, space and material resources. Let’s face it, life has become overcomplicated enough in our constant strive for more more more. We work harder and longer to afford bigger and better and we quickly lose track of what provides real value in our lives. You are taking your power back the moment you recognise where the energetic drains exist in your reality and begin to exorcise the surplus to rquirements stuff, plugging the leaks. These can be commitments, relationships, physical clutter, chores, etc. It can be scaling back on your outgoings and becoming a conscious comsumer… just a couple of months ago, I went through all my email subscriptions and saved myself a mountain of time and energy sifting through the inbox each day. I did the same with my bank account and saved a shit-load of money I didn’t know I was wasting. When you start streamlining, you start telling the universe that you know the value of your resources and you have the power to redirect them towards your highest good. Now you’re taking charge!
6. The castle caretaker
We only get one life. There’s a theory that each of us has a predetermined number of heartbeats before we move onto the next one… but none of us know how many that is. On the other hand, you could also argue that the better we take care of ourselves, the longer we get to enjoy it. One thing is for sure, the more you understand and provide for the needs of your own physical vessel, your “castle” you might say, the more efficiently it’s energy flow and regeneration will be. All too often in these days of modern medicine, do we ignore the needs of our bodies or abdicate responsibility for our own wellbeing, in favour of handing our care over to others to fix it when it goes wrong. As the castle caretaker, its your job to ensure regular maintenance and restoration of the place you call home: your body, mind and spirit. Sure there will be times when the caretaker has to call the plumber or the electrician when something goes wrong, but because she’s is in control of the day to day care (and she does an exemplary job of it), professional intervention is more of a simple collaboration than major surgery. Self-care and how seriously we take it on a daily basis, can be the difference between taking back your power or having it taken out of your hands completely. Yes its hard work for the caretaker to stay on top of the job, but the reward is a lifetime living in a beautiful castle. Your health gives you freedom, freedom is the power over your own life.
7. Investing in what invests in you
The last of those 7 signs you’re taking your power back is that you have withdrawn your energy and attention from everything and everyone that doesn’t contribute to your wellbeing. This is not a transactionary motive, you see value in all its forms, it is more of a conscious balancing of the unconditional giving and receiving that you allow to flow in your life. In the past, as your boundaries began to deteriorate, almost imperceptibly at first, you will have no doubt begun to give far more than you received. This, resulting in an energetic depletion across the board. Relationships in particular will have begun to show this imbalance glaringly as time went on. You were the one making the sacrifices and compromises, carrying the burden of responsibility and probably the bags! The”Who do you think you are?” energy in the first sign will be obvious… but now you are also so much more aware of who does nurture your needs and meet you with a balanced investment, giving to you in equal measure to what you are giving to them. Your connections and support systems no longer require you to provide more and more, instead they become mutally beneficial and everyone contribute to the wellbeing of the whole.
Recognising the 7 signs you’re taking your power back
You may not be all the way there yet. There will be times when you think you have cracked it and then you recognise a boundary or two being overstepped. It’s a fine balancing act, one that takes practice and dedication. Once you do understand the 7 signs though, which if you have been following for a while, you will also recognise as the 7 Principles of The Grail, you will have also equipped yourself with the tools to personal freedom, inner peace… and to creating better relationships.
Which sign is shouting at you today?
Leave me a comment if you recognise any of the signs in your own life at the moment. Maybe you need a little help to claim that power back for yourself? I’d be happy to support you on the journey here if it resonates.
Jo x
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