I’ve been exploring the Grail from a divine feminine perspective for a little while. The language I’ve used in the structure of the philosophy is very “Tally-ho! Let’s save the world” and divine masculine in flavour… not that it’s wrong in any way, the Principles are solid, sound and complete, they cover every aspect of healing what disturbs our inner peace and robs us of health, happiness and fulfilment… I just don’t want to be a Grail Knight anymore. Instead I’m finding that giving up the fight and accepting that my own cup fills faster when I surrender, when I acknowledge that protecting the sacred chalice as a Grail Priestess is far more in keeping with who I am at soul level and requires no banners to be carried and no battle cries, just daily practice and the sharing of its wisdom.
But we don’t live in that world do we?
This week I’ve met with such resistance from within and without, as structures begin to transform, and fear of losing control of and security from the known way has at times pushed me to grasp for the Knight’s sword and shield in an attempt to protect the boundaries of the realm I’ve built… but it is a realm I’ve made a sacred vow to leave in order to expand my inner temple, the home of my Grail. My soul demands leave, my ego is screaming “Stay, you don’t know what’s out there.”
When life threatens change, even positive change, the ego steps in to remind you of all the reasons why you should stay as you are. The small self covets the familiar… but the familiar only brings more of the same.
The universe has been asking me constantly to relax, to hang back, to observe and to let things unfold, but we live in a society where if you aren’t seen to be doing something productive – sell, sell, sell or market this, create that, (you get the picture), then you are either lazy or a failure. I’m neither, unless you count being a failure at being someone other than my true self. I’ve simply been resisting a rest and now it is time for me to give up the fight completely and surrender to the greater plan.
I’d like to create peace. But I already am peace (when I let go).
That’s what the Grail is. Inner peace, outer peace, something beautiful, somewhere beautiful. It already exists when you stop fighting it.
Don’t mistake peace for quiet or for solitude or even for the absence of chaos, it is none of those things (and yet can be found in all of them). Peace is a place found inside yourself regardless of external conditions when you are in union with your Divine origin (Principle 1: I AM God) and your physical nature is housed within your soul rather than trying to contain your soul within the limited boundaries of your mortal vessel.
Imagine that, not having to defend your soul within, but recognising that all along its been a massive uncontainable presence eternally protecting you.
When I woke up this morning I was in a state of “What can I do today to save myself from falling?” Then I remembered a very poignant lesson given to me by Lao Tsu in meditation: he reminded me that gravity doesn’t exist here (in my psyche/meditation), so then how could I possibly be falling? Now I’m settled back in the inner temple knowing that the chaos is outside, the perceived loss and more importantly the fearful thoughts inciting me to action, are the opposite of peace, there is no beauty in their pursuit, the beauty comes from understanding that all serves and that what falls away is making room for new life to flourish.
If you would like help finding your way back into your inner temple, refilling or expanding your sacred chalice, healing or recovering from chaos or change, allowing change to happen, or simply discovering your inner Priestess, then let me know how I can help you.
More later… x