I decided to add in an extra impromptu post today because I’m finding something fascinating if not a little frustrating…
The independent child is an archetype (not restricted to childhood) whereby from the outside, a person appears to be cold and distant and fully engaged in whatever project or current play thing is amusing them, all the while seeming to be fully ignoring the responsible adult… that is until the responsible adult becomes fully involved, engaged and engrossed in something far more stimulating than being shunned by said child… this is the exact moment when that young soul, who remember up until now has been completely disinterested in the comings and goings of those that care for him or her, has suddenly raised some curiosity as to what could possibly occupy the designated grown-up that is more interesting than simply watching the child from a safe distance do his or her thing?
Now I’m wondering if this is a game played mostly by people who have no siblings and are therefore used to being independent whilst remaining the centre of attention or if it is a sign of control to avoid insecurity but I’m speculating on both theories as I myself have siblings and I’m a firm believer that when the grown-ups are talking, they are not doing so in order to ignore the child, they are merely taking the opportunity to have a life that is larger than the workings of the kindergarten.
In grown-up relationships, this phenomenon still exists: “I’m so not interested in you until you appear to become so not interested in me…” it’s a silly game where nobody wins. I remember being subjected to the film Nanny McPhee years ago where she says something like: “When you need me but don’t want me, I’ll be there but when you want me but don’t need me, it’s time for me to leave.” Don’t quote me on the accuracy of my script recollection there but you get the gist. What happens though when you want and need Nanny but she’s off pursuing a career in skydiving or as a superhero hanging out in the shadows of Guatemala because you were so independent?
Anyway, the moral of this story is… you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone.
Appreciate the people in your life who care enough to appreciate you. Time is finite and love is fragile.
Principles 1 & 7
More later… x