That Place Where You Are Free

Where on the Grail path are you?

That’s a question that when asked, you may be tempted to list your spiritual accomplishments, many trainings, how many people you’ve helped and the number of certificates you’ve gained in the process. You may rank your distance travelled along the road by your income or your ability to live without one, these are all just comparables and comparing yourself to an outside standard actually means you are about as far from your destination as you can get.

It’s not a race, it’s not a competition, it’s the journey home.

When you’re asked where are you on your Grail path, the answer you’re looking for is “I’m home.”

Now you have to decide what coming home actually means for you. For me it’s peace, fulfilment, love, clarity, creativity, wonder and grace… an enlightened state of Open-Heartedness that can only be achieved when when both Principle 1: I AM God and Principle 7: I AM Open-Hearted sit in unison. All the other Principles are guidelines to dismantle the blocks to embracing the first and the last. Coming home isn’t a long journey and in fact has nothing to do with distance. It’s a different path for each of us and there are a million external distractions to pull you from your quest, disorienting you and claiming to be the way home to the Grail but if it’s external its not home… I promise you it can’t be found out there. Sure you will catch a glimpse of it in the outside world, when you find momentary joy the Grail will appear, but it’s the joy that is home not the temporary trinket that you imagined brought that joy to you.

Home is that place where you are free and anything else is a poor imitation. Across these next few posts I’ll examine the 5 stages between God and your heart… the Principles that stand between you and home… between now and the next post though, your job is to examine what areas of your life you don’t feel free… let’s get serious about the quest this week.

More later… x

The Faraway Rumble

Grail Oracle 4Grail Oracle Red

Things are afoot that are creating a shade of uncertainty and you may not be able to put your finger on it.

The combination of Principle 4: I AM Truth with the intense red of the 3rd dimensional base chakra is posing the question of what makes you feel secure and whether you are about to compromise that security to follow another’s truth.

The Faraway Rumble is suggestive of an undercurrent of change to which you may feel that you have no real power to stop but by being passive you are actually complicit in allowing your home, whatever home means to you, to be determined by someone or something that has no real interest in your individual hopes, dreams and fears.

When I pulled this combination and began writing, my concentration was fixed on the personal implications of another human being arriving into your home with new ideas and intentions and upsetting the apple cart, but as I got further into the energy it became apparent that more globally and politically this energy is playing out as shifts in power and infrastructure are being negotiated with no real truth for us to make a discernable choice that has not been touched by hype and propaganda.

It’s not my forte to explore the political scene but I wanted to make you aware on both a personal and transpersonal level that just because that rumble still seems faraway doesn’t mean that it isn’t your home, your security, your life that will be directly affected by the oncoming tremor.

This week you will be met with a choice and this choice may have been on the horizon for some time but now you are confronted with a tangible countdown to change. The truth is not obvious, your truth I mean, simply because you do not have enough information to form a clear picture in your mind of what accepting this change will really mean for your future… don’t be fooled by the shiny promises of those who are selling you this new life, do your own research… explore deep within your being for your own truth. Take the time to address your own personal goblins so that you can choose from love and not fear. Remember that a Grail Knight is a hero not an idiot… the quest requires risking it all for love but even those risks need to be calculated.

Love asks what’s best for everyone and comes up with a beautiful compromise it doesn’t say “…you would if you loved me.”

The Faraway Rumble is heading in your direction, time to assess what really makes you feel secure.

More next week… x

Cardinal Rule

I forgot a cardinal rule this week and it caused a stall in the flow of creativity. In order to kick start that creativity I felt the need to kick against a fixed point… a bit like a sprinter pushing hard against the blocks at ready, set, go! Unfortunately in the game of life, pushing against a fixed point usually means creating some form of personal drama as drama, in its own right is fuel for a good story… but it’s hardly helpful in creating a peaceful life. Creativity on the other hand is essential for bending the light of Source energy into a form that pleases you and fulfils your needs to move the story along.

So what was the cardinal rule?

You don’t need a reason to create.

This morning I awoke and had an urge to paint, my logical brain then piped up and said: “How is that going to move you forward on the path?” I basically chastised myself for wasting time on triviality when work needed to be done. The truth is, I make my own deadlines for work, what if today I don’t want to move forward? What if I want to sit and explore right now through a different creative medium? What if by painting I find a new passion that God wants me to use in my work? What if I really enjoy myself?

My creativity stalled because I felt I needed to mould it into a productive form that fits within the boundaries of my conventional day to day tasks, that the outcome needed to be useful in some way or strategic, calculating even. Instead of just creating from my intuitive guidance, for my pleasure, I told myself it had to have a point and a discernable purpose. My inner child had a plan and my outer grown up shat all over it from a great height… and then the well was dry.

Convention, when living a fulfilling, peaceful, joyful life, is a prison whose walls not only confine you but drain the life and light out of you…

I’ve got an overgrown garden, 3 half written training programmes in progress, meditations to record, research to complete and the next chapter of The Wholly Grail book to write… I’m off to get my paints out, sod it!

Principle 2: I AM Detached and Principle 5: I AM Liberated.

More later… x


No Apparent Conclusion

Do you ever get the feeling that you’re playing a game to which you don’t understand the rules, throwing the dice and moving your counter around a board that has no end, no destination and no apparent conclusion?

The wheel of fortune is constantly turning throughout life and if you believe in the hereafter then beyond its visible boarders too. This means nothing ever begins, nothing ever ends… for a linear species as we, this can provoke some very uncomfortable feelings of pointlessness at its worst and relief that we can’t run out of time at its best, but it’s all a matter of perspective.

We are, for the most part compelled to move forward, (though on a wheel, forward is actually just around), from one angle this is a constant repeating pattern and from another an ever ascending spiral; your level of positivity will determine that perspective in any given moment and may shift depending on where on the wheel you are… for example: when you are coming around for another pass and the territory looks, feels, sounds and smells familiar. It’s at times like this when you can become despondent, jaded even. You can choose to do it differently this time of course but your creativity may be at an all time low and let’s face it, you’ve tried everything you can think of, right? You’ve tango’d, you’ve waltzed, you’ve salsa’d, you’ve pirouetted… heck you’ve even moonwalked and yet round you go again… you’ve crawled, you’ve kicked and screamed, you’ve tip-toed and you’ve stopped dead and here you are back at that same familiar spot of feeling dissatisfied with the glass ceiling… Truly the most frustrating film I ever watched was Groundhog Day for just this reason because no matter how many times you rinse and repeat, the subtle discrepancies between each crack at the whip are never going to add up to your version of success…. Ahh now we’re getting somewhere.

What is your version of success? Perhaps the universe has a different plan? Perhaps the constant stopping point is an indicator that you’ve gone far enough and this spiral doesn’t ascend any further or yield any actual reward? You can compromise if you like, pretend that this is enough and that you’re happy with the mediocre results. You can settle for less than you’re worth, less than you want. You can try to convince yourself that the karmic scale balances what you put in with what you got out, or you can take a side step off the wheel to one that’s spinning at a different frequency… one where the upward spiral is obvious and it comes with an escalator rather than a real slog of a stairway to nowhere (except where you’ve just been).

If you’re all out of creative solutions, it might just be time to accept that there isn’t anything left for you to learn from your current quest and maybe it’s time to open the door to opportunity and let the universe offer up a new journey, one where the rewards are obvious: love, companionship, respect, acknowledgment and appreciation… mutual reciprocation of what you are willing to put in.

Human, Liberated, Detached, Self-Full, Authentic… Worthy.

More later… x

Demolishing The Pillars

I ran and I ran and I ran as fast as I could, as far as I could and when I stopped running I was right there where I stood.

No matter how far and how fast you run, when you are done running you will find that you couldn’t escape from yourself, from your thoughts, your memories, your faulty precepts and from your attitude about your life… so why do so many insist on running?

A fresh start isn’t such a bad thing of course, a new set of scenery and a chance to reinvent yourself without the resistance of environmental history and the people that make assumptions based on your past performance would absolutely have benefits but what’s to stop you from creating the same life in your new found location? What’s to stop you making the same mistakes over and over again?

Before you start making drastic changes to your external situation by demolishing the pillars of security you’ve built for yourself, take stock of the internal landscapes that you are honouring by mirroring in your everyday life… The beliefs you hold onto about who you are, where you’re positioned in relation to the world about you, what voices are guiding your decisions and if they are yours, a higher guidance or simply the negative echoes of other people’s opinions.

Adjusting your compass is a vital piece of the puzzle when attempting to redesign your life and if your compass isn’t set to true north then you will run toward a repeat performance of unsatisfactory or unsuitable.

The word compass is the leading edge of the word compassion and before you check out, you need to check in… check in on your compassion for yourself first and get friendly with who you are, who you’ve been and who you want to become. If your intended new self requires a new location, new compatriots and connections in order to create optimal conditions for growth then the opportunity will present itself, until then… where are you going?

Just so you know… I believe you’re perfection in progress… wherever you are.

Every one of the 7 Principles is contained within this piece.

More later… x

The Tiered Return

Saturday’s group reading from my Intuitive Chalice Oracle is, since I began posting, proving to be essential guidance for me and I hope it is providing direction for each of you as well.

This week we see the combination of Principle 6: I AM Self-Full with the bright yellow of the solar plexus to give us a little bit of a helping hand in fixing what’s fallen by the wayside. I use many oracles in both my work and my personal life and one such system I like to call upon is the Iching, an ancient Chinese divination system made up of Hexagrams. The Tiered Return reminds me much of Hexagram 18 sometimes known as “Decay” and sometimes as “Repairing what is spoiled.”

So how is this duo playing out for each of us this coming week? It’s called The Tiered Return because it applies to each of us on many levels: physical, emotional, spiritual; and in many areas of our lives: health, finance, career, relationships… these different areas have to be tiered in order of priority although all of them require attention now.

Self-Full Living demands that your own personal needs must be at the forefront of any action you take in repairing each section of your list and that by either subtly adjusting course or making a complete about face you steer your life back towards your inner bliss.

Personally my health has become the first area for an overhaul, not because I’m unwell, on the contrary I’m doing great… that’s the point. Some of you may remember that I nearly lost my eye 20 months ago and since then I’ve been on some pretty nasty steroid medication to suppress my immune system so it couldn’t attack the area… well after a check up this week and the dose being lowered yet again, I’m almost done with them, maybe another couple of months until I’m free of chemical help… but as grateful as I am for the benefits of modern medicine, the steroids have taken their toll on other areas of my health, I’ve always been a big girl but I’ve ballooned as a result, I’m in need of a detox and want to get back to the level of energy I had before it started… whilst I was focused on one area of healing, others unavoidably decayed and now it’s time to adjust course and repair the damage, see?

Now the idea of bliss is different for each of us, so this week take a few moments to assess what the optimum scenario for you would be in each of the areas on your list and then take measured and gentle steps to change your own behaviour in favour of those outcomes you are seeking… don’t try to change or manipulate someone else or something else to fit and don’t expect instant results either… Mercury, a massive planet, appeared to change direction in the cosmos, where it was moving backward for the last 3 weeks (retrograde), it stopped to think (station) and is now adjusting telemetry to move forward again (direct). If it can, you can.

Tonight’s full moon should help bring to light what you need to fix in your life and I’m wishing you an overflowing Grail cup full of support in doing it…

More next week… x

When The Fantasy Fractured

Trawling through personal history is not a healthy place to dwell but on occasion it is a good exercise to sift through time recovering the blessings, lessons and experiences that have brought you to this place we call the present moment. You see, only by embracing your personal journey up to this point can you see the pattern and pivotal happenings that drew you towards the choices that you are now faced with.

At each tough juncture along the road when the fantasy fractured you became a better version of your former self. I say “when the fantasy fractured” because each major turning point shattered the illusions that you might have held as true before.

Life is science, an experiment that appears to constantly yield failure and only when you refuse to be defeated by it, will you take those failures and let them guide you to your eureka! moment.

In order to move past the failures you’re going to have grasp the basic concept of self-forgiveness. If you’re going to embrace this aspect of healing then first you are going to have to quit blaming and accept responsibility… for your actions or in actions, decisions or abstinence from making them.

“I did that” is a powerful statement, and though admission of guilt is a negative self-deprecating and confrontational stance to be taking, that very same statement seen as an acceptance of responsibility not guilt, can be the grounds for positive personal and inter-personal growth.

Understanding your own power to guide your life journey the way you want it to go needs to begin with healing… healing the bits you felt you didn’t control, claim back your power now by identifying the choice… not in a coulda, shoulda, woulda pointless exercise, but in an effort to observe that choice is always present… it’s the potential consequences of that choice that frighten us into believing that our world’s as we know them might shatter… but get your head around the concept that its only ever to be reformed in a much better, bigger, more suitable configuration.

Embrace Principle 3: I AM Human.

More later… x

A Greater Dreaming

For the most part I keep Grail wisdom in the land of the everyday; focused on real life, real problems and a quest that most people can relate to, but occasionally I can’t help but wander into the land of myth, legend, mystery and allegory…

Magic has been sought by man for millennia as a way of lifting the spirit from the mundane to the miraculous and for those truly initiated in the field, once your eyes are open to real magik they can never be closed again. Once you have stepped through the veil, the illusion, everything is brighter, clearer and has an unreal quality to it that sets it apart from what you previously experienced to now recognise the dream…

Sure, in this dream there are demons as well as angels but unlike your time spent asleep, the time before you understood you were on a quest, the demons are easier to spot and you have a choice to stay away from them or to engage as a part of your adventure on the path. There are myriad helpers in the great unseen that once your eyes, heart and mind are open will emerge to help you float along through a greater dreaming toward whatever comes next, and any interaction with the other realms will either inspire you or render you speechless but either way you will be changed forever.

I created the Grail with the backdrop of a time when anything was possible, a time of Arthurian Knights, dragons and magik, not because it’s fantasy but because in a land where anything is possible so to are you, in any format that you choose… you can create the life that want, recreate the person you want to be, choose to believe in angels and faeries, dragons and mysterious cups, knights and chivalry… you can choose to build Camelot for yourself from wherever or whatever position you are currently in. That’s true magik.

The membership section of the site is currently under construction… if it were ready today and you were a member you would have access to the “Creating Camelot” programme to help you overhaul your life, plus today we’d be digging deeper into working with the higher realms… until it’s ready though…

I’m off to battle my real life demons with the aid of the faeries in my garden.

More later… x

The Level Playing Field

Grail Oracle 5Grail Oracle Blue

Supposing all external accoutrement were removed from the equation? Supposing you had nothing to lose and by the same token nothing to gain? What if there was another who was in similar circumstances to you? Would this gift of equality create sufficient a negotiating platform for the ulitmate interdependent relationship?

The combination of Principle 5: I AM Liberated meets the royal blue energy of the throat chakra to form “The Level Playing Field” where at last the gloves are off.

This week we are being presented with the gift of transparency where all your cards should be laid on the table… its potentially a crap hand that you carry and you have nothing left to negotiate with. This is the time when miracles can happen simply because you have acknowledged your situation, stepped out of denial and finally owned up to the fact that this is all you have and all that there is.

Its sounds pretty dire doesn’t it? Don’t be misled by the seemingly pessimistic introduction because this week sees you shift into a position of pure power. Not power over another as that can just as easily be taken away, but power over your own life and your own choices; and your next move will be determined not by need, not by lack, but by creative intent. If you have nothing and your counterpart has nothing you need, and vice versa, together you can create something that will benefit both of you just purely for the joy of interconnecting.

There is no other agenda because there is nothing at stake. Enjoy making friends, its that easy.

The Membership part of the website is currently under construction and will be coming soon. If it were available today we would be exploring this week’s reading in more depth in the “Optimising The Oracle” section of the site… for now though, I’ll have to leave you there.

More next week… x

Game of Thrones

I feel the need to venture into a delicate subject after being confronted on my own doorstep with an accusation that the guidance I may be receiving may not be from God…

Rarely do I broach the topic of religion versus spirituality as it is such a sensitive and volatile arena to dabble with but earlier this week I was rudely interrupted from my catch up of Game of Thrones (you’re already onto a loser at this stage) by two young gentlemen with winning smiles at my door… I knew instantly what I was in for and baring in mind that at this point I’ve got the newly resurrected John Snow on pause, burning his face into my screen after I’d been slogging all day, as you can imagine I was in no mood to be converted.

I’m not going to go into detail about the entire conversation but the rationale behind the religion these young men were attempting to sell me… They were insistent that the book they carried was the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth… that they had prayed to God and He had answered that indeed this was the case.

I smiled and imparted my own truth, that the book they carried did indeed contain the truth but not the whole truth because it was only ever going to be the truth from one perspective. They asked if I prayed and I was happy to inform them that I spoke to God everyday… “Did I receive an answer?” was their next question to which I assured them that my conversations with Source were always two way. Unfortunately, when I informed them that my truth was different to theirs and that God told me that my truth was as valid as theirs one of them proceeded to say “Are you sure it’s God you’re talking to?

I confess that this was a red rag to a bull and was very fast to ask him who it was he thought I was talking to, and to tell him that he had just disrespected me… Wars are fought on this statement (and not just in Westeros): “My God is the one true God”

Yes, He/She/It is indeed the one true unnamable, indescribable, everything that there is and is not and your truth is the only truth that matters to you but it is not the only truth and just because someone else’s is different does not make it wrong… You are right where you need to be in this moment.

Anyway, the two young gentlemen left after a long lecture on Principle 4 supported by a small adventure into quantum mechanics, one looking like he’d done a couple of psychic rounds with Ali but a newly opened mind, and the other as blinkered as ever but now with even more determination that if it’s not Mormon it’s wrong… you win some, you lose some… and winning was never my game. I returned to living room, lit a candle for them both and asked for them to be blessed and awakened… and then I finished my date with The Lord Commander before his watch had ended.

If the membership section of the site was ready to go right now, members would have access to a follow up piece on The Ego’s Agenda (I was in danger for a split second of losing control of mine)… Membership is coming soon, for today I’ll have to leave you there.

Watch out for the free oracle reading tomorrow… x