I thought long and hard about writing this post. Part of me wanted to defer its subject matter until some kind of outcome has been determined for fear of jeopardising any longed for results, but I’m guided by angels and I’m guided by emotions and when something moves me to write then write I must regardless of the potential results.
I blossomed in joy yesterday when glimpses of my destination (a personal dream) appeared on the horizon with subtle hues of reflected beauty. Already walking a lighter path of late, this wave of encouragement was greeted with a heart full of love and anticipation for whatever comes this way, and my smile, both internally and externally was there for all to witness.
By the evening though, I understood a simple truth: up until now I had played the role of the gracious loser and this time as I appear to be furlongs ahead in the race towards victory, someone else would have to be licking their wounds.
If you have ever been in such a position you will know that when life and love and passion have been poured into a dream, to lose to someone else at the last hurdle is a gut wrenching experience. Self-esteem, worthiness, pride, they all come under heavy questioning in our unforgiving ego’s quest to justify what seems like destiny’s desperately unfair evaluation of the race… that’s why when it comes to competition – I move over, I always have… but not this time: God wouldn’t allow it, the prize wouldn’t allow it. Along the way I forgot it was ever a race, I began to walk, to appreciate the scenery along the way. I recognised that whatever the outcome, I’d already won.
but in the great universal balancing act somebody has to lose.
The glimpse that appeared on the horizon yesterday to make me rise and blossom, was fully visible to make another wither and fall. And I feel it… pride and hubris have no place on the path.
To be gracious in victory is to be compassionate about the pain and suffering of all the beautiful souls on this path… all the Grail Knights seeking that which was never missing from them, being denied access to the love at the centre of their quests, and as such I questioned: would it be wrong of me to express my joy? No… for I have searched long and hard to find my core and that joy, that victory that I already feel, though officially the race is not yet won, is mine to celebrate. But to gloat would I be a misuse of the gifts I have been given, in poor taste and at the expense of another human being, and so I send love… I send angels, I send my gratitude and healing, that should I ever again be the one to be gracious in defeat, let me be healed by the return of the ever flowing light to which I have contributed and refused to dim.
Your turn will come.
Principle 3: I AM Human
Principle 6: I AM Self-Full
But most of all Principle 1: I AM God and I AM Love.
More later… (when I return from my pilgrimage to Avalon, though I will pack the Intuitive Chalice Oracle for Saturday) x