Tag Archives: Self-Love

Why Would You Want To Be Anybody Else?

They say the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence… living next door to a lovely retired couple as I do, the two of them both keen gardeners, this adage is actually very true in my case. A pristine lawn (devoid of buttercups), though appealing is far from my priority in life and I don’t hanker after a keeping up with the neighbours kind of life.

The general feeling this week from those I’ve been in contact with has had a similar feel. Not about grass you understand but about an underlying envy that directs people’s choices and somehow forces them to recreate what’s already been done.

We are each a unique manifestation of God, and Big G gave you a unique set of attributes, talents and skills with which to make magic… why wound you want to be anybody else?

The differences that you work so hard to hide or to correct as if He somehow made a mistake are a part of the greatest tapestry in existence. Attempting to morph into the nearest pretty, outwardly perfect specimen, is attempting to diminish the diversity of the pattern that exists as chaos in our eyes but as perfection from a higher perspective.

When a human being attempts perfection on a local scale, they create bland sameness… when The Divine creates perfection on a universal scale, It creates awe, wonder, inspiration and magic.

You may not have the perfect lawn, the perfect bikini body, the perfect Hollywood-white smile, or the perfect anything on the surface… but that’s all it is: surface.

That lawn my be laced with chemical weed killer and its owner using it as a way to avoid engaging with the world outside, that bikini body may endure living on lettuce leaves and wither at the thought of being seen as nothing more than “meat” despite a beautiful mind. That smile may be fake. hiding tears and trauma that nobody will ever know about because how can you possibly be sad with such a brilliant smile?

Everyone is subject to their own personal pain, and no matter how sexy they make it look on the outside, yours is the only pain you’re equipped to handle… The external qualities Big G gave you were specifically set up to teach you what you needed to know to become who you needed to be to achieve what you needed to achieve… if you then chose to become something else, someone else, then you took all the gifts He gave you and dropped them on the floor like an ungrateful toddler who was far more interested in taking what someone else was given.

Take what you have and nurture it. Nobody else has what you have and nobody else can recreate it.

Principle 1: I AM God

More later… when I’ve tended the lawn (buttercups and all)… x

 

Maintaining Focus In The Face Of Distraction

I’m devout in my spiritual daily practice, not for any other reason than it helps me stay well. When I say well I mean balanced in mind, body and soul, but over the last few days it has been almost impossible maintaining focus in the face of distraction.

Daily practice for me begins with journaling, is followed by meditation and I end the day the same way. I take a few minutes out in the afternoon to check in with my Higher Power (what I refer to as God, though I’m aware you may have a different name for It).

When that routine is disturbed for whatever reason, I feel the absence of focus begin to creep in almost immediately… you know that feeling that you’ve forgotten something important? Having that routine disturbed for a few days though, and I start to feel genuinely unhappy. I’ve been two days with a disturbed practice. It started on day one as a necessity and continued as an experiment… “what’s the worst that could happen?” I didn’t always have this routine and I must have survived before it or I wouldn’t be here, right? The experiment was kind of like seeing what it would be like to go cold turkey to break a habit… is it just a habit?

Daily practice, whatever it may be, is fundamental to my wellbeing. I used the word unhappy to describe something indescribable, but let me break it down for you:

No focus, no direction, impending sense of doom, overwhelming feeling of being alone even in a crowd, physical lethargy, headaches, anxiety, inability to cope with stressful situations, poor digestion even… all because I thought “what’s the worst that could happen?”

When Saturday’s oracle honed in on Self-Full Living (Principle 6), and particularly on taking care of your self-care/personal grooming in order to build confidence, it’s also worth noting that you are a human holy trinity: your mind, your body and your spirit require restoration and respect through meditation.

You deserve to be at the top of your own priority list, and a simple daily practice can help you achieve not just confidence but also health, happiness, balance, insight, connection and focus.

I’m off now to do just that before anything else.

More later… x

 

Saturday Oracle – Inside And Outside

This week’s oracle kicks my ass ¬†on a previous post and I can’t help but be impressed by the irony of it. A little while ago I wrote a piece called Preparing On Purpose that was all about self confidence in any given situation coming from recognition of the divine within… and I stand by that. This oracle though, is pointing toward the necessity of lavishing attention on your physical self to help support your ego-based self-conscious issues.

This is far from a negative week though, in its entirety it is encouraging you to get full-on body positive in order to fully embrace your bliss.

Principle 6: I AM Self-Full connects with the energetic seat of personal power which is the exuberant yellow solar plexus to focus you in on pleasure over the coming days. This combination has a hedonistic feel to it but along with that comes the tendency to over-indulge.

To use this energy properly, which is the desire to direct love upon oneself, you must first ask what constitutes long term benefit as opposed to short term gratification.

We are swinging into the summer season now so minds are turning towards holidays and getting “beach ready.” We are focusing on romance and generally how best to regain our playfulness that hides throughout the winter months under layers of woolly jumpers and weather worn faces… but with this shift in agenda comes a shift in confidence, and all too often we begin to berate ourselves for not being perfect (whatever distorted image of perfection we may actually be clinging to).

The Solar Plexus governs our ego, our digestion and therefore eating habits, our ability to assimilate information, our ability to accommodate abundance, our natural childlike state of joyous abandon… bliss. If a healthy sense of self confidence lives here then you’re in for a week of excitement getting ready for the fun that is set to follow, if however you struggle with loving yourself then unnecessary worries are going to befall you.

Self-Full Living is the art of taking care of one’s own needs inside and outside, now is the time to do that. Give yourself the best fighting chance of shedding the inhibitions by spending this week deliberately tending to your own body’s and your ego’s needs: Pamper, exercise, eat well, practice self-appreciation affirmations, update your wardrobe based on what looks great and feels comfortable rather than what the label says (or the number on it)…if you look and feel great you will take some of the concern away from impromptu invitations to embrace life to the full.

You deserve to jump into the next phase with your full being in a state of bliss. Get ready now!

Wishing you a week of increased self-esteem and playful preparation… x

Saturday Oracle – Being All In

Difficult decisions can only be made once you understand what motivates your choices.

We make arrangements, agreements, commitments spoken and unspoken, we fulfil responsibilities and obligations that these contracts, conscious and unconscious bring with them, but do we actually understand and honour the most sacred contract there is? That is the one we have to ourselves.

This week’s oracle teams up Principle 6: I AM Self-Full, with the emerald green of the heart chakra to highlight for us this fundamental and yet often neglected vow of taking care of our own needs.

Ask yourself as you step into the week ahead who you are doing it for? Who you get out of bed for, go to work for, cook for, make yourself beautiful for? Ask who you cry for, smile for, yearn for and strive for? You will come up with many answers from your kids to your boss to your clients to your lover to your dog… but the ultimate truth is you do it for you.

Your kids bring you joy, love, a sense of continuity and even immortality. Your boss is just the guy or girl that pays the wages that fund your lifestyle. Your clients’ happiness gives you a sense of fulfilment and purpose. Your lover makes you feel special (hopefully), provides physical attention and acts a mirror to your hopes, dreams and aspirations, as well as fulfilling your need for connection and companionship and that urge to pair off that dates back to Adam and Eve, and was fortified by Noah’s deliberate loading strategy for his big wooden boat thing. Your dog… well who knows why we humans are so attached to four-legged furry things but it’s mostly because they love you unconditionally for who you are no matter how shit your hair looks or whether you’re a flatulent toad in your down time. At the route of every obligation, contract or commitment is the fact that it benefits YOU!

Now that we’ve cleared that up, give yourself a little while to let it percolate and come at this oracle afresh.

Self-Full Living is the art of providing for one’s own needs. You either do it consciously or unconsciously.

The heart chakra is the centre of balance in the energy system, it’s the healing heart where unconditional love comes from, it provides a safe space in which to exist, that’s what it means to hold someone in your heart, you give them a space to heal, to be whole. Now imagine for a moment that you are the person you are holding within that centre of life affirming, healing love… everything you do this week must be about you so take that temporary time out, let it breathe (whatever it is) whilst you have a word with yourself about your motives.

Commitment is an all or nothing deal. Fear is the enemy of commitment. Maybe, you’re afraid of losing? Maybe you’re afraid of winning? Maybe you’re afraid of losing yourself in the vastness of a love so deep and so powerful that it consumes you? But it’s your love… The love you lavish upon yourself. Whatever you pour it into, whoever you pour it into, you ultimately are pouring into yourself. Do you love yourself enough to give life and love your best shot?

Take the time, make the space, and then asked the question…

Am I all in?

Because if you’re not all in, you’re out.

More next week… x

 

Saturday Oracle – The Onion Layer

Grail Oracle 6Grail Oracle Yellow

The Intuitive Chalice Oracle is a tool for unearthing the flow of energy happening in your life and is also used a diagnostic tool for healing with The Wholly Grail. Combining one of the Grail’s seven Principles with one of the subtle body’s seven main 3rd dimensional chakras to form a picture of what area of the mind, body or spirit is trying to get your attention at this time.

This week’s combination is spot on for me and made me whence slightly before I unleashed a smile at the underlying possibilities. Whenever Principle 6: I AM Self-Full shows up you absolutely must turn your attention inwards towards your own personal needs regardless of how much your personality drives you towards selflessness. An empty vessel can’t support anybody so it’s time to assess what’s in need of refuelling and seek to give that very thing to yourself.

When the yellow of the solar plexus chakra is highlighted its primary focus is on your self-worth, personal power, innate joy and of course the exact opposite.

Be prepared to feel the negative forces of doubt and depression this week if they haven’t already started. Self destructive behaviours are to be watched for, like: addictions such as overeating, ¬†excessive alcohol consumption, drugs and other distractions to numb or deaden the internal disturbance you may be feeling as we enter a temporary phase of feeling lost.

I want to make something clear at this point, this energy is temporary if you allow it to be and is a negative reaction to a positive shift. You have been transforming gently over the course of this year and a deep healing process has been undertaken to show you who you truly are and what you are capable of. This isn’t a hiccup in the process it’s the next phase, the next layer of the onion shedding to reveal the radiant beautiful soul beneath. The negativity is simply a fear response to yet more change but this time the work you have already put in combined with recognising what’s happening means you have the choice not to succumb to the destructive behaviours or give in to fear.

Something wonderful is just around the corner and you deserve the impending reward… rise up and make preparation. Focus on your own needs… Do you need to rest? Do you need to detox? Do you need to establish your own boundaries? Do you need to shift locations or redefine home? Do you need to be more connected to family, friends and loved ones? Fine what makes you happy and surrender the rest to an ever loving Source. Ask the angels to surround, guide and comfort you through this process and let them lead you to healthier choices based on nurturing your divine nature and not by punishing or suppressing it. Be Self-Full. That doesn’t mean being selfish, giving may be exactly what you need. Sharing can nurture the spirit just as much as becoming insular, like sharing a smile as you pass a stranger, sharing a couple of hours with a loved one over a coffee or perhaps even sharing yourself in a warm embrace with someone you love is exactly what’s called for right now.

Your innate happiness hasn’t gone anywhere, it will return once The Onion Layer is safely removed. If the onion makes you cry in the meantime… that’s healing too.

More next week… x

Saturday Oracle – Your Vibrational Match

Grail Oracle 4Grail Oracle Orange

There seems to be a fair bit of relationship advice springing forth from the oracle of late and this week’s combination is definitely pointing to opening a dialog about intimacy.

At the beginning of new relationships there is usually some form of guarded behaviour as to our true feelings and we hold back on what we feel to be emotional intimacy for fear of being hurt, ridiculed or rejected. It’s an unfortunate truth that many new couples start out by pretending to be something other than they are particularly with each other. For some reason we believe ourselves to be so much less than we are and somehow our shadow side’s take over the rational mind and distort our perception of ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally.

When Principle 4: I AM Truth jumps out of the pack it challenges you to be you in all your “f**ked up glory” because you are absolutely unique down to the cellular level… why then would you try to be anything else? When you consider the fact that everybody is just as messed up as you are, and that they have a similarly distorted view of what they view as their shortcomings… turns out we are all intimidated by making a good impression… but here’s the good bit: New relationships mean that everyone involved is far too loved-up to care if you have flaws so it’s actually the perfect time to embrace you uniqueness.

The bright orange of the sacral chakra is a magnetic energy and is calling in your mate… Emotional intimacy isn’t just about getting naked and sharing yourself physically, it’s about taking down the walls that stand between your true nature and the one who, in this moment, is your vibrational match. If you are pretending to be someone else then your vibrational match is matching the lie that you are portraying…

Get real… love is real… and you deserve that.

If you are in an existing relationship and somewhere along the line it lost its sparkle, now is a great opportunity for self-examination as to where you aren’t being honest about who you are, the person you have become, what your needs are etc, again open up a dialog with a partner… this is so for all your intimates at this time: romantic partners, your family members, your closest friends and so on… remember its about letting down walls and revealing the imperfect yet perfect you that hides beyond.

More next week… x

An Empty Vessel

Grail Oracle Chalice

It’s been only a very short space of time since The Sacred Chalice was pulled from the deck and today it almost fell out.

The Intuitive Chalice Oracle is a tool for diagnosis, inspiration, guidance and personal healing as well having predictive capabilities. It includes 7 Principle Cards along with 7 Chakra Cards making a possible 49 combinations, each combination has a positive and a negative possibility creating 98 interpretations… but then there’s the wild card: The Sacred Chalice, a card that when chosen requires no chakra card to accompany it as it has one of two opposing and yet replete messages neither leaving room for anything else…

Message 1: You are full

Message 2: You are empty

The first requires nothing but your complete appreciation of all the goodness that has manifested for you as a result of either your own sense of wholeness or as a result of miraculous intervention and the second leaves no room for anything but your full focus on creating that state.

An Empty Vessel is the latter and this week sees your need to drop all superfluous ambitions in favour of a singular dedication to your mind, body and soul’s need for nourishment, care and meaning. This may be a time where you feel the need to withdraw from your social and public duties and find solace in prayer, meditation, and other sacred ritual.. whatever works for you. That might be running for some, reading for others… every person is unique and so too are their methods for self renewal. This time is not about resting exactly, more about taking gentle positive action without need for sudden movement or knee-jerk reactive approaches. Allow your inner self to slide into slow motion no matter how fast the outside world is moving.

Once you reconnect with the true source of your power, your Sacred Chalice will refill and normal service will resume without you having to think too much about it.

Remember that an empty vessel is not always a negative thing, sometimes it’s just a perfect place to fill with love and light.

More next week… x