Tag Archives: Independence

Love is Fragile

I decided to add in an extra impromptu post today because I’m finding something fascinating if not a little frustrating…

The independent child is an archetype (not restricted to childhood) whereby from the outside, a person appears to be cold and distant and fully engaged in whatever project or current play thing is amusing them, all the while seeming to be fully ignoring the responsible adult… that is until the responsible adult becomes fully involved, engaged and engrossed in something far more stimulating than being shunned by said child… this is the exact moment when that young soul, who remember up until now has been completely disinterested in the comings and goings of those that care for him or her, has suddenly raised some curiosity as to what could possibly occupy the designated grown-up that is more interesting than simply watching the child from a safe distance do his or her thing?

Now I’m wondering if this is a game played mostly by people who have no siblings and are therefore used to being independent whilst remaining the centre of attention or if it is a sign of control to avoid insecurity but I’m speculating on both theories as I myself have siblings and I’m a firm believer that when the grown-ups are talking, they are not doing so in order to ignore the child, they are merely taking the opportunity to have a life that is larger than the workings of the kindergarten.

In grown-up relationships, this phenomenon still exists: “I’m so not interested in you until you appear to become so not interested in me…” it’s a silly game where nobody wins. I remember being subjected to the film Nanny McPhee years ago where she says something like: “When you need me but don’t want me, I’ll be there but when you want me but don’t need me, it’s time for me to leave.” Don’t quote me on the accuracy of my script recollection there but you get the gist. What happens though when you want and need Nanny but she’s off pursuing a career in skydiving or as a superhero hanging out in the shadows of Guatemala because you were so independent?

Anyway, the moral of this story is… you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone.

Appreciate the people in your life who care enough to appreciate you. Time is finite and love is fragile.

Principles 1 & 7

More later… x

The Final Hurdle – Unravelling Independence

If you’ve been following this series of posts you now have the basic keys to unlock your heart centre to receive God/Yourself. That sounds like a strange statement to make if you’re coming at this from scratch but how many of you actually understand your own divine nature? And more to the point, how many of you actually hold yourself dear to your own heart?

The final hurdle in the quest to occupy your own heart space is fully accepting responsibility for yourself, your health, your happiness, your actions, your feelings and of course your life, then taking steps to fulfil the highest potential in each.

We so often give over that honour to others in a bid to share ourselves but an inability to assess where you end and another begins is a recipe for co-dependency and allows some of the other hurdles to rear up and take root, like adopting the opinions of others to fit in, blaming and unforgiveness, and dependency also breeds entitlement and ownership…

Don’t get me wrong, what we want create here is interdependency rather than independence, the difference being that no man is an island and belonging, bonding and human interaction is at the very heart of human experience and probably the reason we incarnate in the first place but being capable of and actively taking care of ones own needs eliminates social imbalance and the hierarchical structure in many interactions.

We all need someone. I’m too short to reach the top cupboards and whilst married to a very tall guy, I let him reach the pots down for me but now I’m divorced I bought a step ladder… I didn’t sit there and cry because I couldn’t do it myself. That’s a very basic representation and its not a true reflection of the power of being Self-Full… when you meet your own needs to the absolute best of your abilities, you enlist the help of powerful supporters: the unbreakable laws of the universe. When you put yourself at the top of your list and make choices based on your own needs, (taking into account those who have no choice but to depend on you: children, the elderly or infirm), then you also become an inspiration to those who are trying to start their very own Grail Quest.

Try, for the next 7 days, if you do nothing else in this series, to place yourself at the top of your own list… The pressure it takes off of your loved ones will be a massive relief. ┬áThere are those who will buck against this shift in your priorities, change is after all challenging but the quest, this life, isn’t for the faint hearted…

Some will see this change as selfish and those are the people with whom you are in a power struggle or refuse to become self-full in their own right… and that’s a whole other series for us to explore.

Principle 6: I AM Self-Full

Once you’ve scaled the final hurdle, your heart opens and you know you are worthy…

Welcome home… x