Tag Archives: Forgiveness

Taking The Path Of Least Resistance

It’s more important than anything else that you might do, to do it because it makes you happy. Now the fact that we often surround ourselves with details that come with obligations, people that come with agendas, wants and needs that come with conditions etc, makes finding that joy a little more difficult because it’s obscured by superfluous stuff.

Let’s say for instance that you fall in love… that’s a biggy isn’t it? We imagine that love will make us happy don’t we? Supposing though, that the person you fall in love with turns out to be exactly what people warned you about and that your rose tinted, see-the-best-in-everyone-especially-the-romantic-interest glasses, have finally been removed… what action now will make you happiest?

Let’s make the scenario even more complicated: what if the romantic interest was heavily into playing games of hide and seek, which you suspect are more about his emotional insecurity and the fact that he’s got a history of failed relationships behind him than the outward appearance of him just being an abusive narcissist with a god complex, and what if after remembering that his prey (you) is not a pathological masochist, but in fact someone who deserves to be treated with gentleness and respect, what if he suddenly began the seeking process again and all traces of the monster were stored away for the next time he got scared? What would make you happy now?

Love doesn’t go away but like all energy it has the capacity to transform.

Taking the path of least resistance is not always clear because choosing joy now can lead to pain later if you are not vigilant. In our scenario it’s worth noting that reaching out, though forgiveness releases all parties from lower vibrations like resentment and bitterness, allowing the hidden monster back into your life just because he smiles and says please (or not), wouldn’t be an act of forgiveness it would be an act of stupidity. You can respect a shark and still know to keep out of the sea where it’s swimming.

So let’s take a look at the real path of least resistance. Abstinence now can lead to joy later. Finding happiness in abstinence, through acceptance of your own strength and self-love, rather than from the temporary relief from grieving that reconnecting might bring, leads to celebration… achieving the things you put on hold whilst neck deep in the drama leads to more happiness still.

We mostly search for relief from a lack of understanding by asking “why?” “Why did you do that?” or whatever, “Why me?” or “Why won’t you give up?” is a good one, but ultimately none of those questions will change anything. Accept where you are, let go of what has proven over and over again to be painful and unhealthy and walk away… set both of you free… you don’t need to save the next woman from the monster, that’s her lesson to learn… save yourself, trust me you can’t save him, he doesn’t believe the monster exists.

My mum once told me that monsters weren’t real. Now I know the truth: every little boy and girl contains the capacity to become a monster or to become a Grail Knight that knows better than to engage in a contest with the ones that were so damaged that the monster had no choice but evolve to protect them.

My path of least resistance is to send real love to my ex monster from a safe distance, to send healing and understanding to a damaged little boy, but to cut off all methods of contact and flow towards my own happiness… happiness that doesn’t depend on him or on knowing why.

A very personal post today, I know. I hope it inspires at least one of you to find another way that doesn’t depend on abusive relationships.

More later… x

For The Weekend – Learning The Art Of Forgiveness

I’ve travelled to hell and back over the course of this week. It was a most illuminating journey. Taking a small group through a higher ascension training last Sunday, I was allowed by spirit to see for the first time how many of the 7 gates I’d passed through (9 in some teachings), on the way to my own personal hell. And then shown how easily I could climb through the golden gates in the other direction by learning the art of forgiveness.

Principle 3: I AM Human, is the way home to redemption.

This is not a biblical dissemination of sinful behaviour, on the contrary, it’s about the pieces of ourselves that we trade for our vision of what will fill the emptiness we feel when disconnected from our own higher power. The gates include self-transgressions like loss of self-respect, self-worth, humiliation, degradation etc. and we rarely see the outward effects when we are mesmerized by the end goal… that thing that we want, in effect would never lead us into compromising our own integrity if it was ever actually worth having.

The first gate on the way to redemption is acceptance. Also the first step on the way to forgiveness. Acceptance is a state of surrender to what is… it’s the end of the slippery slope. Here you stop struggling and look into the mirror of your life, which is reflected in your surroundings and tangible so-called reality, but you take a look with humility and reverence. I say humility because you must claim ultimate responsibility, and reverence because although you may not enjoy what you see, the awesome power it took to build this reality is a power that flows through you… you have God within you and you can use it to create miracles too.

Now comes the hard part: turn your face to the heavens and away from what was leading you into hell. You may have been stripped naked little by little at every gate you passed through but God created you naked and as you realise that is where you are heading once again, He can wash you clean.

That did end up sounding quite biblical didn’t it?

Let me put it another way… you were born naked, screaming, shitting, pissing and puking and the world looked on and said “Ahhh how beautiful.” Consider this moment, no matter how much crap you appear to be covered in, to be another crack at the great game. Acceptance will lead you to responsibility, responsibility will guide you back to empowerment, empowerment to empathy, empathy to forgiveness and forgiveness will lead to liberation and to love.

Forgive yourself first, forgive those who opened the gates, forgive those who attempted to strip you naked and sully your innocent soul, forgive those who watched you fall, forgive those who laughed at your pain and then finally smile gently with compassion as you watch and wait for them to come to a place of acceptance that in order to open the gates they too had to be standing knee deep in the shit.

Help them out when they ask. That’s what the gates of heaven demand.

This weekend, ask yourself how many gates you’ve passed through? Meditate with the Sumarian Goddess Ishtar, she will help you do a fearless assessment of what you blindly gave up for your goal.

More later… x

Saturday Oracle – Too Much Of A Good Thing

Is it possible to have too much of a good thing?

After last week’s oracle encouraged us to embrace the wild side, this week’s combination seems a little concerned that we might just go from indulgence to over-indulgence to compulsive and addictive negative behaviours.

Principle 3: I AM Human teams up with the bright yellow solar plexus to bring us a bit of a dual message here: on the one hand there’s the addiction to potential self-abuse which I’ll come to in a moment and on the other, there’s the underlying reason for it… failed expectations.

The solar plexus is the seat of personal power and the house of the ego. When it takes a metaphorical beating it seeks to self-sooth and suppress that feeling. People take to all sorts of numbing techniques to achieve this from overeating, shopaholism, alcoholism and drug abuse to name but a few… what start out as a fun time, a treat or an indulgence, when taken to the extreme, become a dangerous spiral towards self-destruction.

As this week opens, so too do potential reminders of personal failure and disappointment that will, while you’re attempting to escape from or forget, have you racing towards the distractions, that you hope will fill the gaping hole that seems to be forming in the pit of your stomach.

There is a way back to balance and it begins with recognising your patterns. Principle 3: I AM Human, is a key reminder of the need for forgiveness, first and foremost of self. When you acknowledge that you are human and therefore perfectly imperfect, you give yourself permission to let go of the self punishment. Forgiveness is not an ideal its a healing aspect of grace, but it takes the courage to first admit that some things are out of your control… like the past… like the future… There is a much bigger energy at play than the human aspect of each of us as individuals and when we bow to this Higher Power, admit to the pain we’ve been until now trying to numb and allow this all encompassing energy fully into our lives, Spirit fills the spaces with pure light and love and there is nothing left to try to fill….

This is the true meaning of an overflowing cup… (not the one you filled with calories or worse as a substitute).

Let God in.

More next week… x

A Warrior’s Determination

Blame is the most disempowering action I can think of in this quest for personal peace. Taking responsibility for one’s own choices, even the perceived mistakes, (of which there are actually none in reality), affords you the luxury of reclaiming those parts of yourself that you left scattered along the way and re-integrating the energy they hold.

Blame is usually the product of two areas of The Wholly Grail: one hidden mechanic and the other one of the Principles. When you step out into the world wearing your shiny knight’s armour you can look the part very easily but it’s what’s under that armour that determines the noble character of the knight. If however the “victim” archetype lurks beneath on the Grail Knight’s chain mail then taking responsibility is the last thing on his or her mind. The victim feeds on blame.

Principle 3: I AM Human is the section of the Grail that deals with the concept of forgiveness. When we blame others for what happens to us we hold them to a higher standard than ourselves and we undo the balance of power in their favour. Now, as children, adults would be responsible for our care, thereby having power over us, but as adults we ultimately have the ability to choose for ourselves.

Please don’t misunderstand me, being the victim of another’s abuse of power is not the same as adopting a victim mentality. The former, when taking on the hero’s stance, can overcome whatever bad things have happened to them with grace and a warrior’s determination but the latter will be crippled by the most simple obstacle by spinning into a disintegrating cycle of “why does this always happen to me?”

Forgiveness comes in many forms but it’s the one sure way to let go of the past and create a new heading based on emotional freedom… it’s about how much baggage you’re willing to take on this journey.

Who can you forgive today and how much excess can you put down?

More later… x

P.S. Look out for details of The Path of Petals course that I will be posting early next week if you’re interested in progressing your spiritual journey towards enlightenment and self-mastery.

 

Saturday Oracle – Temporary Flux

Grail Oracle 3Grail Oracle Orange

It’s not the end of the world… so you took a misstep, the sacred dance we call life didn’t come with a choreographer and the dance floor is nowhere near as narrow as you might imagine.

This week Principle 3: I AM Human teams up with the currently popular vibrant orange sacral chakra indicating that stress levels are fluctuating as you undertake a brand new adventure and for some reason you are fearing you’ve already failed or messed up somewhere in the last few days that could possibly have a knock on effect to what you hoped would be an imminent breakthrough. Not so.

When Principle 3 rears its head we react from an ancient wounding, historical evidence of being somehow not good enough for the task in front of us. We begin to question every response or comment from those around us and assume judgement rather than counsel. Stress levels soar when that comes from a source that we see as significant. As the sacral is not only the centre where we register stress and trauma but also the relationship chakra, where attachments are formed: romantic, familial and social, this week’s oracle is forming a strong leaning towards you feeling as though you have disappointed someone in your chosen tribe.

Here’s the thing: history is so not relevant to your current situation… who you are today and your connection to this significant other is based on something much more real than your imagined failure or faux pas. It’s okay to give yourself a pass and carry on as if nothing happened. Besides, what you imagine someone else is thinking is unlikely to be what someone else is actually thinking so why fuel your own cortisol levels and make yourself worry?

This energy is set to ruin your weekend if you don’t get ahead of it so you have options…

The real lesson behind Principle 3 is forgiveness so first of all forgive yourself for whatever it is you think you’ve done and then give your counterpart the benefit of the doubt instead of assuming that they will judge you… or… you could just speak to them directly, eh?

Now then, behind this temporary flux in proceedings remember that at the centre of everything there is love. That’s enough.

More next week… x

A Redundant Emotion

After recognising you always have a choice, reaching for joy and positivity, next comes a stark realisation. With this sometimes less than pleasant new found clarity you may encounter another negative tidal wave known simply as regret.

Regret is a redundant emotion. It’s counterparts: guilt and shame, also fall into the category of “ways to immediately disempower your self” and are equally as redundant in terms of actually changing anything.

Perhaps whilst indulging in your previous state of negative patterning you did something to belittle, deride or piss off someone who did nothing to deserve your lashing out (whether from fear, pain or other intense form of disempowerment), and now in your enlightened state you can clearly see the effects of your behaviour. Yes, expressing remorse of some kind may go some way towards showing the recipient of your misjudged outburst that there is indeed a human side to you but at this juncture you need to ask yourself a serious question: Am I in fact pained by the notion that I did harm to another or am I simply responding to the fact that I got pulled up over it or lost out on something valuable as a result? 

This question is about shifting your perception from selfish to service.

Now in the second instance, remorse is for oneself and regret is insincere, whilst in the first instance remorse may in fact trigger a healing for both parties… either way, regret is a redundant emotion….

Replace regret, guilt and shame with an empowered state: responsibility. “I did that.” ” I caused that.” “I acted from a disempowered position and I acknowledge I caused pain: to you, to myself, to all involved. I accept responsibility and I will do everything I can to make sure that doesn’t happen again.”

Regret has no potency except to deplete your vital energy. Regret cannot make amends. Regret cannot take action… only responsibility can do that. Be responsible.

I AM Human, or Principle 3 as it is in The Wholly Grail, is the key to forgiveness but nowhere does it state that you should indulge in regret whilst waiting for another to pardon your bad behaviour… forgive yourself, lighten up, take positive action and then the world will have reason to notice your humanity and forgive your f**k ups!

More later… x

What Would Love Do?

Joy is contagious. In order for that to be so, there must be somewhere for it to spread to. Sharing is an integral part of building relationships, families, communities, etc, the sharing of oneself and ones gifts and talents especially and sharing joy, more so.

Not everyone wants to share though. In some cases it would seem that some people are incapable of allowing others to participate in the spoils of happiness… you may have one of these people in your life, indeed you may even be one. Be gentle with this bruised soul for in excluding others from their joy they exclude themselves from the cumulative effect of group bliss… singularly, joy will dissipate quickly, but many contributors build the contagion’s potency until it becomes almost unstoppable.

The solitary victor shares joy only as a means to gloat: to express superiority, and sniffs at the joy and success of others. The solitary victor is competitive, derogatory, critical and judgmental, looking down upon the creations of those who may once have seen him or her as a role model… A Grail Knight? Of course… but a lost one. We are all Knights on a Grail pilgrimage just trying to get to a place of inner safety, peace and true joy… true joy not needing justification, quantification or validation.. it just is. The solitary victor perusing this overflowing cup from a fearful stance is not your enemy but instead is a wounded soul in need of love, so…

What would love do?

Principle 3: I AM Human simply requires forgiveness and Principle 7: I AM Open-Hearted asks that love be given unconditionally, regardless of how hard someone makes it to love them.

More later… x

It’s Inevitable

You’re going to upset some people, it’s inevitable. You cannot please all of the people all of the time… and why should you? Of course saying that, you don’t need to deliberately go out of your way to piss people off either, well at least not if you are reading this from a 5th dimensional, compassionate perspective, but here’s the thing: you want to live an empowered, fulfilling life and I’m guessing that it hasn’t always lived up to your expectations, right? Well, there’s a reason for that…

You, the old you that is, have gathered an entourage of devotees. Trust me you have! They are family, friends, neighbours, loved ones, work colleagues, the local newsagent and the kid behind the checkout at your local store to mention but a few and they have an expectation that you live up to your end of the bargain and don’t disturb the status quo. You, being that creature of habit, act a certain way, behave in certain patterns… for example, you eat the same cereal, buy and read the same newspaper and magazines, you take a predictable amount of time in the shower, even the girl on the phone at the Chinese takeaway knows in advance when and what you’re going to order… predictable see? Now this expectation of you that your devotees have become accustomed to, what happens when you change it up?

Once is a blip, twice is a phase, but three times, well now that’s a problem… and your devotees are going to go hell for leather trying to correct your course back to the familiar. It’s their comfort zone you see. “But I’ve already bought the cereal” “What do you mean your having a bath?” “The Times? Are you serious? You know there aren’t as many pictures right?” “Fruit? Are you sure you don’t want Hobnobs, they’re on offer?” Meanwhile at the local Golden Dragon, the girl on the phone’s been let go, due to lack of business… your business.

You’re going to upset some people, it’s inevitable. None of them can see this journey from your perspective, none of them are walking in your shoes or have felt your pain or heard your silent cries for help. When they can’t persuade you to revert to old patterns they will become angry with you, blame you and secretly or not-so-secretly wish for your failure… forgive them, they are acting out from their own discomfort regardless of yours.

Nobody said it would be easy becoming the greater you, but once the greater you becomes the norm, the devotees will take one of three paths: they’ll rise up and join you up there in your new personal heaven, they will look on from the side lines in quiet envy or they’ll fall by the wayside to be replaced by a whole new set of devotees… the kind who recognise a true Grail Knight when they see one, because they too have undergone the struggle to be who they are and have survived the battle for individuation.

Principles 3, 4 & 5

More later… x

 

Friendly Fire

We spend most of our lives wrapped up in some fantasy or other, conversing with our internal imaginary friends about how well (or not so well) life is going, playing out scenario after scenario in rehearsal or reprisal of a fictitious event that may never occur or indeed never did… certainly not in the way the psychic projection would have you script or rescript it anyway.

This internalisation is a hamster wheel for the mind and eats away at our sense of reality, creating an external world that doesn’t end up looking anything like we imagined simply because at the crucial moment of creation, i.e. now, we are off somewhere in time trying hard to change an unmalliable moment.

Now don’t get me wrong, the mind is a powerful thing and the universe is shaped by thought, intention and conscious action but attempting to transform something outside of time as far as I’m aware is still the stuff of Jules Verne.

Here in the now the most valuable resources exist that can correct the past and determine the future but those resources do not fit in a science experiment or lab… but they do reside within the human heart the first is forgiveness and the second is authenticity.

Principle 3: I AM Human embraces compassion in all forms for self and for others, and though it doesn’t erase the past it does grab a hold of the lesson, the blessing inherent in every past action whilst letting go of the pain, anger, guilt, or whatever residual negative emotion is attached to the event thus transforming the past from a tragedy into an experience.

Principle 4: I AM Truth is a magic spell waiting to be spoken aloud, for in a word there is power and in truth lives potential fuelled by that power… creation itself, but not just any creation, the creation of that very thing you have, for so long been searching for… that thing, that whilst you are rehearsing with your imaginary internal friends the scenarios you fear, dread even, and how you might react to them and what countermeasures you will employ to defuse them, is withering and dying in the bud… because your truth has become a drama on repeat inside your mind instead of the authentic yearning of your heart that is being all but drowned out by friendly fire.

These two Principles though are a mere flourish to the real message here which is simple: if you aren’t present you don’t get to choose the gift.

Principle 2: I AM Detached

More later… x

The Silencer

Grail Oracle 3Grail Oracle Green

This week sees the meeting of the heart and the mind as you begin to recognise the power of your own feelings. They need to be heard and to be acknowledged, not by others but by you.

A combination of Principle 3: I AM Human with the emerald green of the heart chakra is highlighting your habit of suppressing your deepest emotions and the need to forgive yourself for not listening to what is buried so deep within your being.

The Silencer is a survival instinct that has been overruling your needs without you even noticing and has done so for so long that you don’t even know he or she exists. Don’t look out outside yourself for this person or entity (though when this combination arrives its possible that someone else is doing it to you also), instead look to where you deny your emotions simply by dismissing them as nonsense.

Have you ever been told “Don’t be silly” for allowing your feelings to show? How many times do you say that to yourself?

The Silencer started out life as your ally, protecting you from ridicule or unwanted attention but over many years has become your internal abuser and is now being called out…

This week, first you must listen without judgement to your thoughts and feelings, secondly you must listen to your immediate knee-jerk internal reactions knowing that the voice you hear is The Silencer… your final job is to forgive yourself for all the times you’ve been disrespectful of your own heart and now begin to truly hear, fully feel and start living, loving and laughing again.

More next week… x