Tag Archives: Fear

First Monday Challenge – Revealing The Master Illusionist

After a lot of consideration I decided to follow this train of thought to see where it led me. Being the first Monday of the month, shying away from whatever is challenging is against my self-declared process and so we must be prepared to dive deep down the rabbit hole in search of our own answers and face head on what scares us the most. In my case that would be in revealing the master illusionist.

First let us understand the illusion a little better…

Someone has led you back to the point where you fall asleep and forget that you’ve been here before. I don’t mean in the reincarnation sense of having lived a physical life in a different time in a different body, though that would demonstrate this cycle on a lager scale, I mean you are going around and around with something, never really moving forward but instead being lulled into believing you are making progress when really you are being controlled, manipulated, placated. Like placing a dummy (pacifier) into the mouth of a crying baby and whispering “there there,” as the child settles and sleeps believing, at least temporarily, that the very thing that made them cry has been solved.

The master illusionist is a comforter and the means’ by which he or she comforts are mere distractions from that which would bring permanent relief and escape from the repetition of pain and peace…

Addiction is an easy hook by which to control. The promise of the substance provides a lure, the provision of a small sample of the craved for poison buys the illusionist time… is it a drug, alcohol, food, videogames, sex and romance, shopping? That temporary relief provides the “Ah yes, this time I will have what I want and this feeling I have now is proof that it’s on its way.” And now you’re asleep once more. You’ve forgotten that you’ve had a taste of this so-called proof before and you’ve forgotten that however many times you’ve repeated “it will be different this time,” here you are again.

Revealing the master illusionist is simple: who benefits from keeping you in denial of your true situation? Who now has perceived limitations as an excuse for stilted expansion? Who has created an infrastructure set up to withhold connection and intimacy? Who has ensured nobody has expectations of them that cannot be fulfilled thus negating the chance of failure, rejection and ridicule?

There will always be mirrors of the illusionist, others sent to highlight the original, those who have identified the strings, bonds and chains. They will, offer samples of the things you crave, take advantage of the devoted clientele you provide, but the true face of the master illusionist is the one that seeks out a new source of poison when a vendor dries up, the one that finds replacement numbing agents to lull you back to sleep when the pain of being awake gets to unbearable. The master illusionist will always be YOU… and the illusion will always be that you are helpless to help yourself. Only the poison changes form and whatever form it takes you convince yourself it holds all the power.

Today’s challenge is to stay awake, even if you partake of your own particular poison, do so with your eyes wide open and acknowledge the decision consciously.

At every moment through today and this week when you choose to indulge in distraction or addiction, repeat the words “I know what I’m doing and I’m choosing to do it anyway… at least until I find a permanent solution and my freedom no longer frightens me.”

Principles 3 & 5. Later this week I might go deeper into why we fear freedom.. but for now…stay awake.

More later… x

Saturday Oracle – Wearing Shadow Shackles

It’s all in the mind.

As you wander, almost furiously into this week, searching for an escape from the restrictions imposed upon you by your own confusion, there’s a danger of becoming further enmeshed in the internal drama.

When Principle 5: I AM Liberated meets the inky brow chakra then you are wearing shadow shackles that have no real substance except in your imagination which has cornered you with your own fear.

This is a powerful week, combining a new moon and the Chinese New Year and you are putting yourself under immense pressure to do something, anything in fact, but the urgency is an illusion and you would do well to ride out the storm happening inside your head and wait for new information to arrive.

Don’t be rushed into taking premature action that you might regret later and moreover, if you are waiting for someone else to act first then give them more time… you have no idea what they are dealing with and you know they will come through for you in the end.

Principle 5 is grounded in the material and the physical things that appear to keep us trapped, but this is a precarious transition where you are quite likely to throw the baby out with the bath water in an effort to free yourself from what was actually nothing more than your faulty perception.

Time out folks, rest, relax… take a vacation if it’s possible but most of all go within and contemplate what constitutes true freedom before you sell off the family silver or walk away from your hard won career.

Ask for help from someone you trust who isn’t invested in the outcome to help you get clarity… and give the rest to God. He’s got a handle on the whole theatrical set up and will dispatch angels to show you the way the minute you stop playing the impending disaster movie inside your visual cortex and surrender… you’re ok, it’s all in the mind.

More next week… x

 

Your Way Is Different

The path ahead is obscured by a hump in the road, a hill that is too high to see over and appears to fall away beyond its pinnacle. What lies ahead?

You chose this path because you believed in it, because although it never promised you easy, it did promise you adventure. It’s not for everyone… and there are those who will never understand why you continued along the way, skipped, ran, danced, sometimes crawled toward an unknown destination with no proof of where it might lead. They will question, they will doubt your sanity at times, they will even attempt to persuade you to change course or turn back completely… and there are times when your own inner-saboteur will hear them and side with their argument that this path isn’t for everyone. They all mean well, including that fearful voice inside your own mind… they love you enough to want protect you from an unidentified foe that threatens, in their eyes, to swallow you whole… but fear and love cannot coexist in the same space and so you must choose.

The path ahead is obscured, the hill is steep. Many stand behind you calling you back to a safer road, few encourage you on. Fewer still say nothing, choosing to believe not in the path but in you, sending only love to support you on the journey that you chose in spite of fear, knowing only love is real and that if the path ahead leads to nowhere then at the very least you walked all the way and you never gave up.

The thing about faith is: if it came with a guarantee, it would cease to exist as a concept.

Just because the crowd is going one way and you appear to be walking alone in the other, doesn’t automatically mean you’re going the wrong way… it may simply mean that your way is different.

Besides, where else do you need to be right now? Don’t doubt your own intuition, it brought you this far.

Principle 2: I AM Detached, and Principle 4: I AM Truth.

More later… x

 

‘Til Death Do Us Part

Now here’s a subject I don’t broach very often…

A beautiful friend of mine has become obsessed with his own mortality. He must mention it at least twice a week by slipping it in to an otherwise jovial interaction. I’m not sure if he is intending me to notice or if he has even noticed himself, but this underlying fear of his own mortal end (though he will insist that he has reconciled with the fact that all life must in fact cease eventually), has subtly changed his behaviour, so I’m going to attempt a Wholly Grail take on it… not on death itself, for at that moment your Grail is full as you finally and fully return back to Source, but instead on the fear of dying, of leaving those you love behind, of not quite getting done what you intended… but more importantly, holding back on starting something new just in case.

Just in case… that’s a death in itself isn’t it? You deny yourself joy just in case you can’t finish it… it’s like really wanting a big piece of chocolate fudge cake with lashings of ice cream after dinner but then not ordering for fear you can’t finish it… sod that for a game of soldiers: indulge, enjoy, savour every minute, no matter how many minutes you may or may not have left or how many spoonfuls you can demolish before your tummy screams stop!

Those you share your life with will weep, they will feel the pain of your loss, they will grieve, they will heal, and they will remember… or you can deny them that piece of chocolate cake that is you by withholding the love inside for fear that it might be soon taken away.

God is in charge of the chocolate cake and it’s portions, whatever fears you have, however justified, you just don’t know… He does (and He’s not saying).

Principle 2: I AM Detached is the art of being present, of living loving, giving, sharing… right here in this moment. No matter your age, your health, your positive or negative outlook, we’re all heading exactly the same way to exactly the same destination and this journey is simply ’til death do us part.

Your only decision is this: am I going to savour the chocolate cake while I can?

More later… (whilst I’m still here to indulge) x

The Ego’s Trap

Grail Oracle 3Grail Oracle Yellow

Addiction in all its forms along with the illusion of control are indicated by this combination which I have to admit I can neither remember if it’s been drawn before nor whether I have previously utilised the title… non of which is important because each time cards from The Intuitive Chalice Oracle are drawn, so too is fresh energy and a new approach.

Pulling together Principle 3: I AM Human with the intensity of the yellow solar plexus we find ourselves the victims of unseen, unknowable changes drifting, even hurtling towards us on an energetic level and causing a momentary panic beneath the surface of a refined and dignified exterior. The thing about energy is that we become aware of it way before our eyes register evidence of it and the awareness is felt in the gut… the solar plexus, hence gut feeling. Panic ensues when we cannot rectify the feeling with the facts and so anxiety takes over and the mind does somersaults imagining outcomes to scenarios that in your material world have not yet even shown up…

Ok so that’s the ‘why?’, let’s look now at the ‘what?’…

Control is an illusion. The world is going to do what the world is going to do, right? So what do you resort to? “If I can’t control what’s coming I can at least numb myself to it in some form or another”… Well now, what’s your drug of choice? Cigarettes? Food? Shopping? Gambling? Extreme Sports? Mary J? Narcotics? Shit, the world is full of distractions to control the uncontrollable but this reading isn’t about the relapse into unhealthy addiction, it’s the tendency towards repetitive self-abuse that putting your foot on this slippery slope will lead to. ‘I AM Human’, gives you a heads up that making the mistake of taking a self destructive first step does not mean you might as well take the second and the third… The massive pizza you demolished last night is not a reason to drag out the pity party and scream “oh well, I’ve fucked up, I might as well eat cream buns for breakfast!” The control over your environment you were seeking can really quickly become an inability to even control yourself when this combination turns up… so what should we do?

Throw love at it. Lavish love upon yourself. Forgive the transgression and climb back on your respective wagon… but that energy of change is still flooding toward you and your solar plexus is twitching like a junkie needing a fix.

How do you know that this change isn’t the best thing that could ever happen to you? Start telling your new story like a love story with you as the leading role. You are a hero and the energy flowing towards you is an invitation to begin a new adventure. The yellow in that solar plexus should be joy, not fear, and being your seat of personal power, when the Grail offers up Principle 3, the very real human part of you should grab a hold of the divine and celebrate an opportunity to experience pure exhilaration as only a human being can.

Don’t fall into The Ego’s Trap x

More next week… x

Remarkably Unremarkable

Hey you! Yes you. How long has it been since we were able to communicate without barriers? How long since we opened our hearts and our minds without pretence or hidden agenda? Why is it do you think that we do that, feel the need to hide from each other, shield our innermost hopes dreams and aspirations? Why is it that we hide in plain site the things that mean most to us?

Fear is an epidemic, so I’m told, spreading from one of us to the next by means of energetic transfer without us actually consciously being aware of it… “he’s hiding something, I must therefore fear his motives and guard my own” when the truth is that he is hiding his own fear… Fear begets fear and so on.

So what is it we are hiding exactly? The answer is fairly simple and remarkably unremarkable: Love, we’re hiding love!

We hide from it when we don’t think it comes in the format we want, we hide from it when there’s a chance it might be rejected by someone else who is also hiding from it, we hide from it when it’s too intense because we’ve hidden from it for so long we can’t handle being loved, loving or even witnessing love. We fear love. Fear is the opposite of love but love is the one thing we all want and the one thing we all hold at arms length…

So then, what are you afraid of? What are you hiding from? When was the last time we didn’t let fear dictate how much love flows between us?

No, I don’t know either, but I do know this: I love you… and I’m not afraid of it.

Principle 7: I AM Open-Hearted

More later… x

 

Make The Tough Choices

Powerful forces are at work in the construction of your lifestyle and indeed your existence but do you know where that power comes from?

I was contemplating this morning whether or not I should go deep or keep it light of a Wednesday morning and then it struck me: the choice was entirely mine. What then do we base our choices on?

The powerful force I’m interested in today is intent… and the choices we make based on our intentions. Just coming back to power for a moment, how scary is the fact that only you know what your true intentions are? Not scary at all if you’re coming from a heart-centred benevolent place which I hope you all are but let me put this another way, if it applies to you then it applies to everyone else… so how scary is it that only the person your dealing with knows what their true intention is?

There is power in a secret, regardless of the intention the secret is keeping, not knowing the plan puts you in a position of weakness and vulnerability and requires the trust of a child to navigate to the final destination. The power grab that is being played out on a global political scale at the moment is an example of this interaction between intention and choice… I’ll choose you because my intention is to do good… even if I don’t know what your intention is…

Of course the real power doesn’t sit in the hands of those vying for it, the real power sits in the hands of those who choose… I choose you/ I don’t choose you; I trust you/ I don’t trust you. You have a choice and that’s real power.

The power to direct your life has always been with you, heaven created it that way. It was only ever fear that allowed you to believe that you didn’t know how to take care of yourself, to make the difficult choices and moves, it was only fear that allowed you to hand over the responsibility to someone else to make the tough choices for you… it was only ever fear that made you believe they knew better than you.

If you want the power back, the power to direct your life the way you want it, here’s what you have to do to claim it back:

Decide your intention

Make the tough choices

Take responsibility

Commit to yourself

Understand that nobody else’s truth is ever any bigger or better than yours and if it feels like it is, learn from it, be inspired by it and up the ante on your commitment to embrace this new learning so that your intention and choices expand to reflect it… but definitely don’t go: “their vision for my life is better than mine, I’ll follow them and let them make the tough choices.”

You are the power.

We just took a short stroll around Principle 1: I AM God and Principle 4: I AM Truth (with a little bit of Principles 2, 3, 5, 6 and 7 sprinkled on for topping).

More later… x