Tag Archives: Control

Carefully Handling My Wobbly Bits

Despite the title I assure you that this is a spiritual/self-awareness post, honest…

As I write this I’m preparing a lesson for a meditation class about creating change. I am experiencing unprecedented internal transformation at present and the process feels very comfortable for the most part simply because, having dived into the depths of self I have faced the true nature of what it is I actually wish to change in my life…

Over the last couple of days though I have had an unusually high number of conversations with friends, colleagues, and clients who are frantically transforming the external decor… from hair and wardrobe to phone and vehicle to address and interior design. Then last night it occurred to me that I too had been browsing the old paint swatches looking for the right hue to brighten up my living environment. What’s going on?

It’s simple. We grow or we die… growth is change.

The dilemma arrives when we use external change to temporarily numb the issues that are really requiring our attention. These sweeping statements of material upgrade are our 3rd dimensional attempt to force the new in our lives.

Change is always happening, but you cannot always see what is being morphed into a new and unfamiliar shape, causing apprehension and internal wobble, so we do what we can to imitate control over our lives to give ourselves the reassurance that change is good when in effect it is neither good nor bad it is simply necessary for growth, for survival.

I’ve decided that slapping some paint on the kitchen is a harmless way of carefully handling my wobbly bits while ever I’m conscious that that’s all it is.  So go forth and dye your hair, clear out your wardrobe, redesign your garden… whatever floats your boat in the moment… but don’t hide from the truth of what’s really requiring your attention underneath the surface glitter.

… And speaking of hair, let’s keep it positive today people!

More later… x

P.S. if you would like to explore what’s really ripe for transformation then my brand new Path of Petals course is starting in early March.  Check out Training and Courses on main menu.

Give It Permission

Life settles down again fairly quickly after any upheaval if you’re willing to let go of what you cannot control… and to be fair, what you can’t control is most of the world that exists outside of yourself.

Understanding that resisting or cajoling reality is a massive power drain on your personal Grail reserves breaks the cycle of gripping, releasing you back into the flow of the universe.

Today, as an experiment, try for a few moments several times through the day looking at every situation or thing in your life and affirming: “you are perfection.”

How things are right now may not be exactly as you would wish but the current circumstances have been manoeuvred into position exactly as they need to be to propel you into the next step of the journey and that set up is divine perfection. Once you recognise it for what it is you give it permission to change… change is inevitable… change is life. That being said, resistance creates a build-up of stagnant energy forcing the changes occurring to be more dramatic and uncomfortable, like a damn breaking under the strain… change still occurs because life is supposed to flow.

Recognising the current perfection has a secondary effect that is even more important than the aforementioned flow: gratitude. Gratitude is a very small step away from peace, happiness and your overflowing Grail cup and that’s worth the effort, isn’t it?

Principle 2: I AM Detached (and you are perfection).

More later… x

The Ego’s Trap

Grail Oracle 3Grail Oracle Yellow

Addiction in all its forms along with the illusion of control are indicated by this combination which I have to admit I can neither remember if it’s been drawn before nor whether I have previously utilised the title… non of which is important because each time cards from The Intuitive Chalice Oracle are drawn, so too is fresh energy and a new approach.

Pulling together Principle 3: I AM Human with the intensity of the yellow solar plexus we find ourselves the victims of unseen, unknowable changes drifting, even hurtling towards us on an energetic level and causing a momentary panic beneath the surface of a refined and dignified exterior. The thing about energy is that we become aware of it way before our eyes register evidence of it and the awareness is felt in the gut… the solar plexus, hence gut feeling. Panic ensues when we cannot rectify the feeling with the facts and so anxiety takes over and the mind does somersaults imagining outcomes to scenarios that in your material world have not yet even shown up…

Ok so that’s the ‘why?’, let’s look now at the ‘what?’…

Control is an illusion. The world is going to do what the world is going to do, right? So what do you resort to? “If I can’t control what’s coming I can at least numb myself to it in some form or another”… Well now, what’s your drug of choice? Cigarettes? Food? Shopping? Gambling? Extreme Sports? Mary J? Narcotics? Shit, the world is full of distractions to control the uncontrollable but this reading isn’t about the relapse into unhealthy addiction, it’s the tendency towards repetitive self-abuse that putting your foot on this slippery slope will lead to. ‘I AM Human’, gives you a heads up that making the mistake of taking a self destructive first step does not mean you might as well take the second and the third… The massive pizza you demolished last night is not a reason to drag out the pity party and scream “oh well, I’ve fucked up, I might as well eat cream buns for breakfast!” The control over your environment you were seeking can really quickly become an inability to even control yourself when this combination turns up… so what should we do?

Throw love at it. Lavish love upon yourself. Forgive the transgression and climb back on your respective wagon… but that energy of change is still flooding toward you and your solar plexus is twitching like a junkie needing a fix.

How do you know that this change isn’t the best thing that could ever happen to you? Start telling your new story like a love story with you as the leading role. You are a hero and the energy flowing towards you is an invitation to begin a new adventure. The yellow in that solar plexus should be joy, not fear, and being your seat of personal power, when the Grail offers up Principle 3, the very real human part of you should grab a hold of the divine and celebrate an opportunity to experience pure exhilaration as only a human being can.

Don’t fall into The Ego’s Trap x

More next week… x

Neat Little Boxes

Chaos might be defined by mum’s with small children as a disorganised mess… I’m not so sure. You see, that disorganised mess can be organised, tidied away, structure provided and over time order restored, it’s ultimately controllable… even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment. Life on the other hand…

We try continuously to assume some kind of control over our own lives, to make, to a certain extent at least, the rules and boundaries by which we want to live. Like the toys that mum is trying to control, we put areas of our lives in neat little boxes and hope that nobody will notice that some are overflowing and that some are just full of junk… from the outside at least we can fool ourselves into believing that we’ve got it together, but then there’s the unknown factor…

If we are all making rules and boundaries, if we all have neat little boxes, what happens when your shit gets mixed in with someone else’s shit and your rules and boundaries don’t match their rules and boundaries? What happens when all those thousands if not millions of seemingly unconnected decisions being made by far flung individuals clash and jockey for position… who is in control?

Chaos is a constant, that’s why you cannot keep the Grail, that’s why it is a life long quest. You may be mistakenly walking this path thinking its leads to organisation and reprieve from the chaos but that’s a grave mistake to make and it will ultimately lead to disappointment… what this quest leads to, the inner peace that is promised, is far from a reprieve from the chaos, it’s a release from needing to control it and an acceptance that chaos is a powerful place of creation and recreation and once you let go of trying to control creation and let a Higher Power take care of the details, miracles are born.

We just passed through a new moon and a partial solar eclipse, those that are in the know are predicting big changes, a letting go of the events of the last 6 months… don’t grip, let chaos open those neat little boxes… it’s time to face whatever’s inside holding you back.

More later… x

Ps. That link I’ve been threatening: it’s coming. I’d like to blame a technical hitch but it’s more to do with technical incompetence on my part… I nearly gave up and broke down but I’m a big believer that breakdown leads to breakthrough… hang on in there with me x