Tag Archives: Appreciation

Why Would You Want To Be Anybody Else?

They say the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence… living next door to a lovely retired couple as I do, the two of them both keen gardeners, this adage is actually very true in my case. A pristine lawn (devoid of buttercups), though appealing is far from my priority in life and I don’t hanker after a keeping up with the neighbours kind of life.

The general feeling this week from those I’ve been in contact with has had a similar feel. Not about grass you understand but about an underlying envy that directs people’s choices and somehow forces them to recreate what’s already been done.

We are each a unique manifestation of God, and Big G gave you a unique set of attributes, talents and skills with which to make magic… why wound you want to be anybody else?

The differences that you work so hard to hide or to correct as if He somehow made a mistake are a part of the greatest tapestry in existence. Attempting to morph into the nearest pretty, outwardly perfect specimen, is attempting to diminish the diversity of the pattern that exists as chaos in our eyes but as perfection from a higher perspective.

When a human being attempts perfection on a local scale, they create bland sameness… when The Divine creates perfection on a universal scale, It creates awe, wonder, inspiration and magic.

You may not have the perfect lawn, the perfect bikini body, the perfect Hollywood-white smile, or the perfect anything on the surface… but that’s all it is: surface.

That lawn my be laced with chemical weed killer and its owner using it as a way to avoid engaging with the world outside, that bikini body may endure living on lettuce leaves and wither at the thought of being seen as nothing more than “meat” despite a beautiful mind. That smile may be fake. hiding tears and trauma that nobody will ever know about because how can you possibly be sad with such a brilliant smile?

Everyone is subject to their own personal pain, and no matter how sexy they make it look on the outside, yours is the only pain you’re equipped to handle… The external qualities Big G gave you were specifically set up to teach you what you needed to know to become who you needed to be to achieve what you needed to achieve… if you then chose to become something else, someone else, then you took all the gifts He gave you and dropped them on the floor like an ungrateful toddler who was far more interested in taking what someone else was given.

Take what you have and nurture it. Nobody else has what you have and nobody else can recreate it.

Principle 1: I AM God

More later… when I’ve tended the lawn (buttercups and all)… x

 

Sad It’s Gone, Happy It Came

May is my absolute favourite month of the year. I just realised it was over and we have arrived into June almost in stealth mode. I was writing in my journal yesterday morning and paused to date the entry, I was overcome with a brief moment of sadness about it’s passing. I wrote: “Sad it’s gone, happy it came” and transformed that moment into deep gratitude for what is, what was and what may still be to come.

Last year, I remember having that same feeling on the Summer Solstice, (which is once again fast approaching). Instead of revelling in the midsummer festivities, I was overcome with a single thought: “it’s all downhill from here!” Not exactly the optimist’s angle of approach to things is it? But then again I was in a much different place last year and at the time I pulled myself up and reminded myself that it was “Flaming June” and there was fun to be had… make hay while the sun shines and all that stuff.

This whole attitude I was temporarily taken in by is about something much more fundamental than just the passing seasons, it’s about the climb, the pursuit, the chase… always having something to look forward to.

Principle 2: I AM Detached, asks that we remain present in the current moment… that, combined with appreciation is the antidote to any ending or at least the associated feelings of loss. The human condition though, for most of us, needs a driving ambition. When we stop climbing we start falling, when we stop growing we start dying. This cyclical force is a natural part of the duality of the entire universe in constant motion… you must honour every part of it, every age, every stage of the great procession.

Whatever you are rising towards now, you will eventually reach and then you must rise towards something new, the next stage of your journey will be different, but it will be equally as beautiful, equally as filled with moments and new memories and just as much an adventure as this current phase.

Give thanks for the climb, gives thanks for the conquer, give thanks for the decline and give thanks for the release… all serves the quest and allows a new beginning to be born again and again. May will come again and that’s something to look forward to while I play nice with the rest of the year.

More later… x

Appreciation Is Far More Empowering

Right and wrong are concepts that fall within the realms of what is considered socially acceptable, but sometimes being told you have been a bad or good girl/boy has nothing to do with majority consensus and is in fact a patronising attempt by one or more individuals to control another.

Do you fall under the title of people pleaser?

This in itself may sound patronising but I just had the misfortune to witness a crap tv show (which I should have turned off but it’s what I call car crash television: it’s a travesty but you can’t look away) in which a beautiful Golden Retriever was the co-star of the show. The number of times the main character said “good boy” whilst scratching that cute pooch’s ears was worthy of the scriptwriter being handed his or her cards… but that’s not the point…

That dog was so happy to be told he was a good boy just because he knew how to fetch.

As its Monday, many of you will be facing situations, perhaps in work, where someone appears to have all the power…  how people handle power is an amazing insight into their personalities. Treating people how you want to be treated is key to building mutual respectful relationships, so before you praise someone think how you do it… its far more likely to be well received if you simply express appreciation or gratitude for the actions they have taken rather than an opinion on whether it was good or bad. Appreciation is far more empowering than approval.

So if you answered yes to the “are you a people pleaser?” question, then the chances are you are waiting with bated breath for any ounce of approval… this is a sign you’ve given your power away. Don’t despair, it’s easy enough to take it back. I have a face for that… it usually involves raised eyebrows slightly furrowed in the middle. I developed the face as a team member and then manager of a large team of employees. People get the face once and they don’t make that mistake again.

Principle 4: I AM Truth, takes courage and a good sense of who you are without the need for fitting into the good graces of others and usually requires you to let go of your fear of disappointing someone and what you might lose as a result.

Now be a good girl/boy and leave me some feedback.

Or

I’d appreciate your feedback on this post…

Which feels better?

You have the power to decide.

More later… x

The Real Treasures

Winter Solstice Blessings to you all.

In my last post I asked that you join me today in sending more love out into the world, you can read that via the archive but today let’s also concentrate on loving what’s present in our lives.

Principle 2: I AM Detached asks that you focus not in the past or in the future, but in the present and on what is. The winter solstice is the longest night of the year wrapped up in the stress of the Christmas season, when blessings are sometimes hardest to see and easiest to overlook… but not if you focus on the real treasures present in your experience.

Family, friends, health, home… love, that’s the key to everything. There may be a million things that you want and are actively striving for but just for now, settle down to accept and appreciate where you are, what you have and who you are sharing it with.

Keep the light in your heart until it returns to the world. In the deep midwinter let us all become beacons of hope, gratitude and grace that set the example for the rest to follow.

Blessings Abound x

Freak-Out Dance Routine

There comes a moment in time where the urgency passes and the fear subsidies making way for a new wave of positive and progressive energy. Rationally, you understand that the possibility of recurrence exists but when grace descends and forms a bubble of joy around you, that possibility becomes a hazy half forgotten dream that you can choose to either focus on and allow to come sharply into focus or you can allow to slip away into the midst of the other dark shapeless forms that dwell beyond the bubble.

This week will go down in history… but then so will every other week. What’s done is done and this is where we are. I don’t know about you but where I am right now is pretty significant as far as the journey goes, significant because this is the only place that matters… right here, right now.

I remember back about 18 years ago I shared a flat with a friend who was a morning person (I had no idea until then that such people even existed), but she had this habit of waking me up in the morning by making me do a full on freak-out dance routine to “Right Here, Right Now” (was that Fatboy Slim? I can’t remember), anyway needless to say, that’s all there is… and when the sun came up this morning on another blessed day, I remembered to be present with what is now… and then I did a freak-out dance routine around the kitchen to something equally as rousing!

The point being that the sun did come up. No matter how shit it appears to be at any one time, sooner or later that despair will transform, if you allow it to, into acceptance and from acceptance into appreciation, from appreciation in to full-on gratitude and when surrounded by that now exponentially growing bubble of grace it won’t be long until gratitude becomes jubilation!

Apply Principle 2: I AM Detached to your philosophy today, get out of your head and into your body (via Fatboy Slim or other worthy rhythmic noise maker… I’m finding Robin Thicke works for me currently) get present with what is and learn to freak-out for a whole different and altogether more positive reason!

More later (when I’ve stopped wearing the kitchen floor out and singing loudly at the neighbours)… x

Give It Permission

Life settles down again fairly quickly after any upheaval if you’re willing to let go of what you cannot control… and to be fair, what you can’t control is most of the world that exists outside of yourself.

Understanding that resisting or cajoling reality is a massive power drain on your personal Grail reserves breaks the cycle of gripping, releasing you back into the flow of the universe.

Today, as an experiment, try for a few moments several times through the day looking at every situation or thing in your life and affirming: “you are perfection.”

How things are right now may not be exactly as you would wish but the current circumstances have been manoeuvred into position exactly as they need to be to propel you into the next step of the journey and that set up is divine perfection. Once you recognise it for what it is you give it permission to change… change is inevitable… change is life. That being said, resistance creates a build-up of stagnant energy forcing the changes occurring to be more dramatic and uncomfortable, like a damn breaking under the strain… change still occurs because life is supposed to flow.

Recognising the current perfection has a secondary effect that is even more important than the aforementioned flow: gratitude. Gratitude is a very small step away from peace, happiness and your overflowing Grail cup and that’s worth the effort, isn’t it?

Principle 2: I AM Detached (and you are perfection).

More later… x

The Simplest of Gifts

There’s something very attractive about the idea of having it all, having everything you want in this life, isn’t there? You feel a seductive pull towards things, people, situations and lifestyles that can come off as all but deafening to the ego who sits amidst the shiny screaming “more more more!”

You have no concept what you need. That’s God’s job. Surrendering to the flow of life brings into sharp focus the inappropriate choices you have made up until now as you relax into wanting what is and appreciating the simplest of gifts… like breath.

There’s nothing wrong with shiny, you understand that. There’s nothing wrong with wanting things, people, situations and lifestyles that appear from a distance to be shiny… as long as you understand that its the wanting that produces the feeling, the chasing that amounts to the adventure and that once attained, not only can the object of your hunt never live up to the shiny glimpses you’ve caught along the way but nor can it fulfil your need to want, to hunt, to seek.

Once you have it, that’s the point at which you must once again learn to surrender. You have no idea what you need. That’s God’s job. Your job is now to relax into wanting what is, what has become, and appreciating the simplest of gifts… like love.

Principles 2 & 5

More later… x

Love is Fragile

I decided to add in an extra impromptu post today because I’m finding something fascinating if not a little frustrating…

The independent child is an archetype (not restricted to childhood) whereby from the outside, a person appears to be cold and distant and fully engaged in whatever project or current play thing is amusing them, all the while seeming to be fully ignoring the responsible adult… that is until the responsible adult becomes fully involved, engaged and engrossed in something far more stimulating than being shunned by said child… this is the exact moment when that young soul, who remember up until now has been completely disinterested in the comings and goings of those that care for him or her, has suddenly raised some curiosity as to what could possibly occupy the designated grown-up that is more interesting than simply watching the child from a safe distance do his or her thing?

Now I’m wondering if this is a game played mostly by people who have no siblings and are therefore used to being independent whilst remaining the centre of attention or if it is a sign of control to avoid insecurity but I’m speculating on both theories as I myself have siblings and I’m a firm believer that when the grown-ups are talking, they are not doing so in order to ignore the child, they are merely taking the opportunity to have a life that is larger than the workings of the kindergarten.

In grown-up relationships, this phenomenon still exists: “I’m so not interested in you until you appear to become so not interested in me…” it’s a silly game where nobody wins. I remember being subjected to the film Nanny McPhee years ago where she says something like: “When you need me but don’t want me, I’ll be there but when you want me but don’t need me, it’s time for me to leave.” Don’t quote me on the accuracy of my script recollection there but you get the gist. What happens though when you want and need Nanny but she’s off pursuing a career in skydiving or as a superhero hanging out in the shadows of Guatemala because you were so independent?

Anyway, the moral of this story is… you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone.

Appreciate the people in your life who care enough to appreciate you. Time is finite and love is fragile.

Principles 1 & 7

More later… x

Beauty and Symmetry

Change is a good thing. When you have been hanging upside down in a tree for days like the hanged man in a tarot deck, then change is a welcome release from the stagnation and seeming lack of control over your situation whatever that change may be… let’s call it welcome release. But what about when you’re in the middle of change, will it still seem like a good thing?

As a species we are a contradictory bunch (or is that contrary? No matter). We want it, then when it comes we complain at the speed at which it arrives, the turmoil it creates in our oh, so comfortable lives… we want something new but without consequences, compromises and without having to sacrifice for it… well don’t we?

So, familiarity breeds contempt and a change is as good as a rest, but better the devil you know?… I love cliches simply because they are so contradictory… just like us. My favourite one is “out of sight, out of mind” it butts up nicely against its polarity “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

Are you starting to build up a picture about the human condition and its apparent inability to be content with what is? This too is a good thing because though it causes unrest in the individual, it also fuels evolution and evolve we must.

Today, in amongst all that discontent, whether you are stagnating in the same place or situation that has held you captive for an age or spinning out of control on a journey to goodness knows what next, whether life deals you the hanged man or the ever turning wheel of fortune, take a few moments to appreciate the beauty and symmetry of the ebb and flow… “the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” as Hamlet so poetically phrased it. Deliberately count your many blessings and come back to what is true for today.

Remember that if the Grail cup stayed full, the contents would eventually also go stagnant…  let life ebb and flow as it will.

Principle 2: I AM Detached

More later… x

How Unkempt

Your peripheral vision is useless when your nose is pressed up against the glass.

Yes it’s true that what the future potentially holds is enticing, intriguing and to some extent seems shinier than the current position but potentiality is illusory and by no means a settled outcome, a done deal or dead cert. While you are fully focused on forward though, on that green grass on the other side of the fence, your own lawn needs tending.

Now you may think I’m being heartily metaphorical here but the truth is I’ve been so focused on the next big thing for the last few days that my lawn literally has grown so long I don’t know how I’m going to get the mower through it. Everyday mundane things are only that if your thinking makes it so, alternatively the day to day doings of your life can constitute a magnificent storyline to the world’s greatest adventure if that’s how you choose to see it but how can you see it if your peripheral vision is useless because your nose is pressed up against the glass… or noseying over the garden fence to see how green or perfectly trimmed someone else’s lawn may be.

I have yet to make peace with the grass but I have made peace with the fact that its mine to do and I’m grateful that there is grass to be mowed, hedges to be trimmed and that there are windows that now need the greasy nose prints washing from them… these things I am grateful for may not constitute shiny but that is simply because I forgot to polish them, appreciate them and admire the simple pleasures, luxuries that stopped feeling luxurious merely because you forgot how bloody lucky you are to have them in the first place.

Step back today and appreciate everything that is already present within your life… no matter how unkempt it may be… and now commit to taking good care of it. The future will arrive in its own time and when it gets here, it’s going to need assurances that you will take care of all the gifts it’s bringing and not leave them to rot or grow wild whilst you’re busy focusing on the shiny thing that hasn’t arrived yet through the next decidedly grubby window.

Protect what’s present, it’s precious.

More later… x