Tag Archives: Addiction

First Monday Challenge – Revealing The Master Illusionist

After a lot of consideration I decided to follow this train of thought to see where it led me. Being the first Monday of the month, shying away from whatever is challenging is against my self-declared process and so we must be prepared to dive deep down the rabbit hole in search of our own answers and face head on what scares us the most. In my case that would be in revealing the master illusionist.

First let us understand the illusion a little better…

Someone has led you back to the point where you fall asleep and forget that you’ve been here before. I don’t mean in the reincarnation sense of having lived a physical life in a different time in a different body, though that would demonstrate this cycle on a lager scale, I mean you are going around and around with something, never really moving forward but instead being lulled into believing you are making progress when really you are being controlled, manipulated, placated. Like placing a dummy (pacifier) into the mouth of a crying baby and whispering “there there,” as the child settles and sleeps believing, at least temporarily, that the very thing that made them cry has been solved.

The master illusionist is a comforter and the means’ by which he or she comforts are mere distractions from that which would bring permanent relief and escape from the repetition of pain and peace…

Addiction is an easy hook by which to control. The promise of the substance provides a lure, the provision of a small sample of the craved for poison buys the illusionist time… is it a drug, alcohol, food, videogames, sex and romance, shopping? That temporary relief provides the “Ah yes, this time I will have what I want and this feeling I have now is proof that it’s on its way.” And now you’re asleep once more. You’ve forgotten that you’ve had a taste of this so-called proof before and you’ve forgotten that however many times you’ve repeated “it will be different this time,” here you are again.

Revealing the master illusionist is simple: who benefits from keeping you in denial of your true situation? Who now has perceived limitations as an excuse for stilted expansion? Who has created an infrastructure set up to withhold connection and intimacy? Who has ensured nobody has expectations of them that cannot be fulfilled thus negating the chance of failure, rejection and ridicule?

There will always be mirrors of the illusionist, others sent to highlight the original, those who have identified the strings, bonds and chains. They will, offer samples of the things you crave, take advantage of the devoted clientele you provide, but the true face of the master illusionist is the one that seeks out a new source of poison when a vendor dries up, the one that finds replacement numbing agents to lull you back to sleep when the pain of being awake gets to unbearable. The master illusionist will always be YOU… and the illusion will always be that you are helpless to help yourself. Only the poison changes form and whatever form it takes you convince yourself it holds all the power.

Today’s challenge is to stay awake, even if you partake of your own particular poison, do so with your eyes wide open and acknowledge the decision consciously.

At every moment through today and this week when you choose to indulge in distraction or addiction, repeat the words “I know what I’m doing and I’m choosing to do it anyway… at least until I find a permanent solution and my freedom no longer frightens me.”

Principles 3 & 5. Later this week I might go deeper into why we fear freedom.. but for now…stay awake.

More later… x

Saturday Oracle – Too Much Of A Good Thing

Is it possible to have too much of a good thing?

After last week’s oracle encouraged us to embrace the wild side, this week’s combination seems a little concerned that we might just go from indulgence to over-indulgence to compulsive and addictive negative behaviours.

Principle 3: I AM Human teams up with the bright yellow solar plexus to bring us a bit of a dual message here: on the one hand there’s the addiction to potential self-abuse which I’ll come to in a moment and on the other, there’s the underlying reason for it… failed expectations.

The solar plexus is the seat of personal power and the house of the ego. When it takes a metaphorical beating it seeks to self-sooth and suppress that feeling. People take to all sorts of numbing techniques to achieve this from overeating, shopaholism, alcoholism and drug abuse to name but a few… what start out as a fun time, a treat or an indulgence, when taken to the extreme, become a dangerous spiral towards self-destruction.

As this week opens, so too do potential reminders of personal failure and disappointment that will, while you’re attempting to escape from or forget, have you racing towards the distractions, that you hope will fill the gaping hole that seems to be forming in the pit of your stomach.

There is a way back to balance and it begins with recognising your patterns. Principle 3: I AM Human, is a key reminder of the need for forgiveness, first and foremost of self. When you acknowledge that you are human and therefore perfectly imperfect, you give yourself permission to let go of the self punishment. Forgiveness is not an ideal its a healing aspect of grace, but it takes the courage to first admit that some things are out of your control… like the past… like the future… There is a much bigger energy at play than the human aspect of each of us as individuals and when we bow to this Higher Power, admit to the pain we’ve been until now trying to numb and allow this all encompassing energy fully into our lives, Spirit fills the spaces with pure light and love and there is nothing left to try to fill….

This is the true meaning of an overflowing cup… (not the one you filled with calories or worse as a substitute).

Let God in.

More next week… x

Saturday Oracle – The Onion Layer

Grail Oracle 6Grail Oracle Yellow

The Intuitive Chalice Oracle is a tool for unearthing the flow of energy happening in your life and is also used a diagnostic tool for healing with The Wholly Grail. Combining one of the Grail’s seven Principles with one of the subtle body’s seven main 3rd dimensional chakras to form a picture of what area of the mind, body or spirit is trying to get your attention at this time.

This week’s combination is spot on for me and made me whence slightly before I unleashed a smile at the underlying possibilities. Whenever Principle 6: I AM Self-Full shows up you absolutely must turn your attention inwards towards your own personal needs regardless of how much your personality drives you towards selflessness. An empty vessel can’t support anybody so it’s time to assess what’s in need of refuelling and seek to give that very thing to yourself.

When the yellow of the solar plexus chakra is highlighted its primary focus is on your self-worth, personal power, innate joy and of course the exact opposite.

Be prepared to feel the negative forces of doubt and depression this week if they haven’t already started. Self destructive behaviours are to be watched for, like: addictions such as overeating, ¬†excessive alcohol consumption, drugs and other distractions to numb or deaden the internal disturbance you may be feeling as we enter a temporary phase of feeling lost.

I want to make something clear at this point, this energy is temporary if you allow it to be and is a negative reaction to a positive shift. You have been transforming gently over the course of this year and a deep healing process has been undertaken to show you who you truly are and what you are capable of. This isn’t a hiccup in the process it’s the next phase, the next layer of the onion shedding to reveal the radiant beautiful soul beneath. The negativity is simply a fear response to yet more change but this time the work you have already put in combined with recognising what’s happening means you have the choice not to succumb to the destructive behaviours or give in to fear.

Something wonderful is just around the corner and you deserve the impending reward… rise up and make preparation. Focus on your own needs… Do you need to rest? Do you need to detox? Do you need to establish your own boundaries? Do you need to shift locations or redefine home? Do you need to be more connected to family, friends and loved ones? Fine what makes you happy and surrender the rest to an ever loving Source. Ask the angels to surround, guide and comfort you through this process and let them lead you to healthier choices based on nurturing your divine nature and not by punishing or suppressing it. Be Self-Full. That doesn’t mean being selfish, giving may be exactly what you need. Sharing can nurture the spirit just as much as becoming insular, like sharing a smile as you pass a stranger, sharing a couple of hours with a loved one over a coffee or perhaps even sharing yourself in a warm embrace with someone you love is exactly what’s called for right now.

Your innate happiness hasn’t gone anywhere, it will return once The Onion Layer is safely removed. If the onion makes you cry in the meantime… that’s healing too.

More next week… x

The Ego’s Trap

Grail Oracle 3Grail Oracle Yellow

Addiction in all its forms along with the illusion of control are indicated by this combination which I have to admit I can neither remember if it’s been drawn before nor whether I have previously utilised the title… non of which is important because each time cards from The Intuitive Chalice Oracle are drawn, so too is fresh energy and a new approach.

Pulling together Principle 3: I AM Human with the intensity of the yellow solar plexus we find ourselves the victims of unseen, unknowable changes drifting, even hurtling towards us on an energetic level and causing a momentary panic beneath the surface of a refined and dignified exterior. The thing about energy is that we become aware of it way before our eyes register evidence of it and the awareness is felt in the gut… the solar plexus, hence gut feeling. Panic ensues when we cannot rectify the feeling with the facts and so anxiety takes over and the mind does somersaults imagining outcomes to scenarios that in your material world have not yet even shown up…

Ok so that’s the ‘why?’, let’s look now at the ‘what?’…

Control is an illusion. The world is going to do what the world is going to do, right? So what do you resort to? “If I can’t control what’s coming I can at least numb myself to it in some form or another”… Well now, what’s your drug of choice? Cigarettes? Food? Shopping? Gambling? Extreme Sports? Mary J? Narcotics? Shit, the world is full of distractions to control the uncontrollable but this reading isn’t about the relapse into unhealthy addiction, it’s the tendency towards repetitive self-abuse that putting your foot on this slippery slope will lead to. ‘I AM Human’, gives you a heads up that making the mistake of taking a self destructive first step does not mean you might as well take the second and the third… The massive pizza you demolished last night is not a reason to drag out the pity party and scream “oh well, I’ve fucked up, I might as well eat cream buns for breakfast!” The control over your environment you were seeking can really quickly become an inability to even control yourself when this combination turns up… so what should we do?

Throw love at it. Lavish love upon yourself. Forgive the transgression and climb back on your respective wagon… but that energy of change is still flooding toward you and your solar plexus is twitching like a junkie needing a fix.

How do you know that this change isn’t the best thing that could ever happen to you? Start telling your new story like a love story with you as the leading role. You are a hero and the energy flowing towards you is an invitation to begin a new adventure.¬†The yellow in that solar plexus should be joy, not fear, and being your seat of personal power, when the Grail offers up Principle 3, the very real human part of you should grab a hold of the divine and celebrate an opportunity to experience pure exhilaration as only a human being can.

Don’t fall into The Ego’s Trap x

More next week… x