Do you ever get the feeling that you’re playing a game to which you don’t understand the rules, throwing the dice and moving your counter around a board that has no end, no destination and no apparent conclusion?
The wheel of fortune is constantly turning throughout life and if you believe in the hereafter then beyond its visible boarders too. This means nothing ever begins, nothing ever ends… for a linear species as we, this can provoke some very uncomfortable feelings of pointlessness at its worst and relief that we can’t run out of time at its best, but it’s all a matter of perspective.
We are, for the most part compelled to move forward, (though on a wheel, forward is actually just around), from one angle this is a constant repeating pattern and from another an ever ascending spiral; your level of positivity will determine that perspective in any given moment and may shift depending on where on the wheel you are… for example: when you are coming around for another pass and the territory looks, feels, sounds and smells familiar. It’s at times like this when you can become despondent, jaded even. You can choose to do it differently this time of course but your creativity may be at an all time low and let’s face it, you’ve tried everything you can think of, right? You’ve tango’d, you’ve waltzed, you’ve salsa’d, you’ve pirouetted… heck you’ve even moonwalked and yet round you go again… you’ve crawled, you’ve kicked and screamed, you’ve tip-toed and you’ve stopped dead and here you are back at that same familiar spot of feeling dissatisfied with the glass ceiling… Truly the most frustrating film I ever watched was Groundhog Day for just this reason because no matter how many times you rinse and repeat, the subtle discrepancies between each crack at the whip are never going to add up to your version of success…. Ahh now we’re getting somewhere.
What is your version of success? Perhaps the universe has a different plan? Perhaps the constant stopping point is an indicator that you’ve gone far enough and this spiral doesn’t ascend any further or yield any actual reward? You can compromise if you like, pretend that this is enough and that you’re happy with the mediocre results. You can settle for less than you’re worth, less than you want. You can try to convince yourself that the karmic scale balances what you put in with what you got out, or you can take a side step off the wheel to one that’s spinning at a different frequency… one where the upward spiral is obvious and it comes with an escalator rather than a real slog of a stairway to nowhere (except where you’ve just been).
If you’re all out of creative solutions, it might just be time to accept that there isn’t anything left for you to learn from your current quest and maybe it’s time to open the door to opportunity and let the universe offer up a new journey, one where the rewards are obvious: love, companionship, respect, acknowledgment and appreciation… mutual reciprocation of what you are willing to put in.
Human, Liberated, Detached, Self-Full, Authentic… Worthy.
More later… x