The Dancer’s Dual

Grail Oracle 3Grail Oracle Red

A few weeks ago The Sacred Chalice card came out of the set and though at the time I suspected it was in positive mode I also explained that it had a negative side that if chosen from the deck may mean that you are hitting rock bottom and in need of rebuilding energetically from scratch (see The Sacred Chalice here). The reason I bring it up now is that this combination is leading you down the garden path to exactly that, unless you make changes now to correct your course.

The Dancer’s Dual is a combination of Principle 3: I AM Human and the blood red of the base or root chakra.

The base chakra is your connection to your body’s physical state and energy, the chakra’s health is directly related to the provision of material and physical needs such as food, shelter, safety and also adequate rest. When out of balance it can, at its worst create exhaustion as well as produce negative feelings of  irritability, anger, rage and resentment (usually when those needs are not being met).

Combining this energy drain with the “Human” and therefore fallible factor suggests that a lack of forgiveness and a hurt ego are involved here and that conflict is at the root cause of the depletion.

There’s a famous dance, it’s called the tango… it’s full of passion and angst. She pushes him away, they struggle and strut, he drags her back, spins her around etc… it’s all very dramatic but the biggest problem with this dancer’s dual is that as spectacular as it looks to the outside world, when played out between two people as a real life struggle with real life aggression and ego involved, the dance has anything but a beautiful ending, the symbolic red rose held between the teeth of one of the participants ends up chewed up and spat out and the two dualists, through a lack of that forgiveness, end up exhausted having squandered vital resources defending their position.

Of course there is another layer to the combination that only occurred to me last night and that is that all the petty disputes and quarrels between family, loved ones, partners etc. mean exactly squat when someone gets sick… poignant for me today.

I hope you have the opportunity to embrace the forgiveness needed this week before drastic intervention puts everything in perspective for you.

More next week… x

An Invocation for Grace and Mercy

I’ve been working with angelic help for years now, but I’m not the most obedient student! Although I endeavour to serve as the Divine wishes, bearing in mind that we are the Divine and so in effect the angels are always guiding us towards our own wishes or at least the highest version of them, if I can’t see or imagine or indeed understand the path I’m on then it’s my tendency to dig my heels right in and rebel.

Trust is the ability to let someone or something else lead and in order to be a follower you either have to be completely asleep or you have to be awake enough to trust that giving up control is the easiest and fastest way to get where you want to be… yes that’s a contradiction and yes that’s the dilemma.

What if the angels, messengers of God, were asking you to give up control to another fallible human being because somehow your fate was wrapped up in theirs and at this point along the journey your desired outcome was dependent upon allowing them to take the lead, could you? Would you?

In a much broader sense we are doing that at every moment of every day, we allow others to make our laws, uphold them, govern our societies etc… these are all about giving up control on a slightly less personal but still relevant scale, but what I’m attempting to address here is a much more intimate and individual type of leader/follower relationship and it messes with your head in Grail terms because it’s a fine balancing act… that masculine/feminine dynamic.

I’ve come to a crossroads where the angels have recognised after hearing many an invocation for grace and mercy from me that I’m finding this part of the mission excruciating and that the cost feels too high… enter Archangel Samael, without whom free will (or at least the appearance of it) would not be available to us. Light without shadow  affords us only one choice and to embrace my whole self I must learn to dance in the shadows whilst I choose the light… poetic eh? Practically speaking it means I AM Human (Principle 3) and therefore have limits to what I can tolerate.

Archangel Samael has been working with me since last Thursday helping me to review my choices and even to get a clearer picture of where I’m trying to make choices where no real choice exists. It’s an exhausting process when you’re attached to an outcome, highlighting my need to immerse myself into  further study of Principle 2: I AM Detached.

Here’s the thing: We serve The Divine; we are The Divine, we therefore serve our own highest good. Good.

We choose the outcome and The Divine moves us towards that intention (Divine this time meaning us and including the entire universe)… Free will then consists of one question and one question only: do you want what you say you want? Because if you do, this is what it’s going to take to get it.

Let me rephrase the last question… do you want it enough? Me? I don’t know… hence the crossroads. I’ll let you know what I decide (when and if I decide). There are gentler angelic helpers if you want to undertake a similar examination of your direction but Samael deals with shifting a stubborn black and white mindset. He’s not your average fluffy winged being.

I’ll be back with some more insights from the path on Monday but in the meantime look out for the free group oracle reading on Saturday… x

The Final Hurdle – Unravelling Independence

If you’ve been following this series of posts you now have the basic keys to unlock your heart centre to receive God/Yourself. That sounds like a strange statement to make if you’re coming at this from scratch but how many of you actually understand your own divine nature? And more to the point, how many of you actually hold yourself dear to your own heart?

The final hurdle in the quest to occupy your own heart space is fully accepting responsibility for yourself, your health, your happiness, your actions, your feelings and of course your life, then taking steps to fulfil the highest potential in each.

We so often give over that honour to others in a bid to share ourselves but an inability to assess where you end and another begins is a recipe for co-dependency and allows some of the other hurdles to rear up and take root, like adopting the opinions of others to fit in, blaming and unforgiveness, and dependency also breeds entitlement and ownership…

Don’t get me wrong, what we want create here is interdependency rather than independence, the difference being that no man is an island and belonging, bonding and human interaction is at the very heart of human experience and probably the reason we incarnate in the first place but being capable of and actively taking care of ones own needs eliminates social imbalance and the hierarchical structure in many interactions.

We all need someone. I’m too short to reach the top cupboards and whilst married to a very tall guy, I let him reach the pots down for me but now I’m divorced I bought a step ladder… I didn’t sit there and cry because I couldn’t do it myself. That’s a very basic representation and its not a true reflection of the power of being Self-Full… when you meet your own needs to the absolute best of your abilities, you enlist the help of powerful supporters: the unbreakable laws of the universe. When you put yourself at the top of your list and make choices based on your own needs, (taking into account those who have no choice but to depend on you: children, the elderly or infirm), then you also become an inspiration to those who are trying to start their very own Grail Quest.

Try, for the next 7 days, if you do nothing else in this series, to place yourself at the top of your own list… The pressure it takes off of your loved ones will be a massive relief.  There are those who will buck against this shift in your priorities, change is after all challenging but the quest, this life, isn’t for the faint hearted…

Some will see this change as selfish and those are the people with whom you are in a power struggle or refuse to become self-full in their own right… and that’s a whole other series for us to explore.

Principle 6: I AM Self-Full

Once you’ve scaled the final hurdle, your heart opens and you know you are worthy…

Welcome home… x

The Fourth Hurdle – Unravelling Ownership

I really hope you’ve managed to catch the last few posts as they have been bridging the gap between you and a fully opened heart. We began by dispelling the time trap, looked at motives behind forgiveness and tested our need for approval, now let’s explore how material possessions entrap our daily focus.

‘Things’ are fun, aren’t they? Well aren’t they? They certainly should be, that’s why we have them, but what happens when they stop being fun?

It’d be fun to have a nice car, a big house, the latest mobile phone, an Italian designer suit… you list all the things it’d be fun to have if you like as a bit of an exercise, after all, we spend so much time these days talking about manifesting… the perfect job, the perfect partner, the perfect… nothing is perfect and in a universe built on balance everything has a positive and a negative attribute.

We are governed by the law of attraction sure, but we are also governed by the law of consequence or cause and effect… be sure you are willing to pay the toll for what it is that you want. Once it’s yours it’s also your responsibility.

Let’s take that perfect job for example… now you have it, can you do it? Can you put in the hours? Can you sacrifice the freedom? Can you sacrifice the family time?… now there’s a newcomer who shows promise and your position is threatened, what do you do, up the ante? Put in more hours? Compete? Are you trying to maintain your perfect job?… is it even your perfect job anymore?

We hold on for dear life to the things we worked hard for, put so much effort into and sacrificed to get but when is that sacrifice no longer in balance with the benefit?

Is it still a fun thing?

Investment is not the same as ownership. In this world, this life, you own nothing and you can take nothing with you into the next one so rather than own stuff that eventually owns you, your time, your energy, your focus, your resources, your health and your freedom, now is the perfect moment to start investing…

Invest in your health, your loved ones, your freedom and your fun and in the serving of humanity… everything else is a waste of your precious gifts. The fourth hurdle – unravelling ownership, once overcome, changes your perspective from greedy to gratitude and makes every ‘thing’ in the world shine brighter… you can taste it all as long as you’re willing to pay the ultimate price: everything you have, has a piece of you.

Principle 5: I AM Liberated.

More later… x

Be Light of Heart

It’s the first Monday of the month and that can only mean one thing: challenge day!

There are so many things in this world that you have absolutely no control over but whether or not you choose to enjoy the current experience is definitely not one of them.

Enjoyment, joy, is a sensation that comes from within and begins with the acceptance at your core, of the beauty of where you are at this particular juncture of proceedings regardless of the perceived outer discomfort. Believing in divine perfect timing combined with the empowerment that can only come from recognising that there is always a choice, removes the sense of helplessness that can overcome any given situation when you feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. You’re an infinite being and the external apparent mayhem is only temporary however unsatisfactory it may feel.

The challenge then, being as we are already into June: let yourself be guided by the carefree attitude that summer affords, let your choices be guided by the search for joy… not out there, but within.

Be light of heart and don’t take it all so seriously!

I’ll be back tomorrow with the next instalment of The Five Hurdles…

More later… x

The Alighting Point

Grail Oracle 4Grail Oracle Yellow

I have this recurring dream from time to time of being on a bus approaching my stop and finding myself struggling to collect all my bags and luggage together in time to get off. Sometimes the driver is waiting at the stop with the door open but the more I pick up the stuff appears and I have shout to him “please wait.” At other times I’m waiting at the stop and the bus I want to get on is fast approaching but similarly I have to gather my things before it arrives or I’ll miss it… I can feel myself panicking all the while. Obviously it’s a dream about baggage and the need to lighten the load or opportunities will be missed to progress along to the next stage of my personal evolution… but it’s not about the baggage that this oracle is revealing, it’s about the reason to get off the bus.

The Alighting Point is a combination of Principle 4: I AM Truth and the effervescent yellow of the solar plexus chakra and is all about blissful experiences.

This week will see you recognising an opportunity not to peruse the goal represented by the destination stated on the front of your proverbial bus (the long term plan), but to get off, wander around and enjoy the opportunities along the road. It’s like being on your way to work, seeing a fun fair by the roadside and deciding that would be so much fun and you fancy a bit!

Now in realistic terms allowing yourself to stop and savour the simple pleasures that are offered to you may actually kick start a whole new journey… The destination may be the same (if you want it to be), but you may find that another bus, another route or another way of arriving is far more fun than the same old same old that you’ve been used to.

Joy and bliss arrive at the most unexpected moments when you allow yourself to taste something new: a new hobby, a new project, a new love… playfulness in this case is the key to rediscovering your love of life and it may just be exactly what you never knew you were looking for. Expect your social life and circle to expand as a result of taking a risk by getting off the bus and allowing a little indulgent behaviour to guide you towards a brand new truth.

You may be revisiting past loves that you thought were lost, talents and gifts re-emerging that you left in your childhood and inhibitions being cast by the wayside as exhilaration takes over and euphoria prompts you to say “again, again!”

“Scream if you wanna go faster”…  there’s always another bus, have some fun.

More next week… x

The Third Hurdle – Unravelling Authenticity

Over the last couple of posts we shed light on the fallacy that is time and uncovered blame’s hold over forgiveness. Today let’s look at the truth.

The search for approval is a battle that is seldom won without some form of compromise or radical transformation through learning, it is a search that often tramples over authenticity.

Embracing your own personal truth can be a scary prospect when it sets you up in opposition to the truth of another… without faith in your place on the path, your connection to the God force flowing through you, this apparently irreconcilable difference of opinion or point of view will cause you to question what you hold dear and even question your sanity at times. The first thing you have to embrace is the discomfort… don’t automatically assume that someone has to be right and someone has to be wrong… if only the universe was quite so black and white.

Authenticity is holding the faith with what you know to be true whilst allowing room for growth through new learning. It’s not about being right it’s about being faithful. Have I used the word faithful enough? Who are you dishonouring by allowing your position to be toppled by a loud voice or a heavy hand? Only yourself and God, after all you are God remember? God lives in your faith, and driving a wedge between you and what you instinctively know to be true to your heart (between God and your heart) for the sake of fitting in, being liked or pleasing someone else will ultimately lead to separation… which if you have paid attention to the last couple of posts is the same as low self-worth, separation from God/Yourself will lead to resentment which in turn will lead to separation from the very person or people that you compromised your truth to remain attached to… sad turn of events that what you traded for, you ultimately lost. Is it worth it?

Authenticity has little to do with winning (sounds familiar), it has nothing to do with oppression of free will, it has everything to do with celebrating difference, variety, and in some cases even uncertainty. Uncertainty leads to invention and invention to evolution… growth.

But we feel the need to be heard, don’t we? God hears you, he witnesses your position and can clearly define the journey you undertook to reach your current state of understanding and from His/Your perspective all is as it should be but God walked the path with everyone else too and their positions, though different from yours are just as perfect in their conclusions as yours are.

When you expect approval from any external source, you set yourself up for disappointment and rejection. This is not an indication that your truth is wrong, it is proof that your audience already has a truth of its own and either it is not yet ready to hear, or it is not open to embrace something new.

Listen with respect to opinions of others but recognise that true wisdom leads you home to God… if it feels like leaving yourself behind, let it go.

The third hurdle – unravelling authenticity, is simply about communicating dispassionately, without holding any attachment to how you are being perceived… don’t go changing!

Principle 4: I AM Truth

Look out for The Fourth Hurdle next week and in the meantime I’ll be back tomorrow with a free reading from The Intuitive Chalice Oracle… x

The Second Hurdle – Unravelling Forgiveness

In the last post we removed the time chasm from the healing process bringing God a step closer to your heart and you’re already on your way home… but four hurdles remain between you and the Grail. Today then let’s uncover the truth behind being human.

To truly forgive anyone including yourself involves letting go of the need to win. Failure is a comparison and comparison leads to inadequacy, inadequacy leads to low self-worth, and in an attempt to deflect that feeling of separation from God, which is what low self-worth actually is: believing you are separate from or less than the whole, leads to blame.

Blame, like time, is a redundant concept that holds you apart from your power, whether you blame yourself, someone else or even God is simply you expecting to see miracles whilst your eyes are closed. Everything in your world is a mirror of your perception of who you are in this moment… shit, that’s powerful magic! You created it all. Now instead of beating yourself up for the stuff you didn’t get just how you want it, take this masterpiece as a piece of living proof that its simply your perception that is flawed… now there is nothing to forgive is there?

I know, I know, what about the crap that others sling at you? The external illusory world is a mirror. You are the projection and it is the reflection. How others treat you is a perfect indicator of how you allow yourself to be treated… your perceived worth. You can choose to languish in self-pity because someone is treating you badly or you can choose to up your internal value by not putting up with it anymore. It’s not about them remember so if at this stage you want to stamp your feet and say “I refuse to tolerate your behaviour…” then you will get one of two reactions (reactions means mirror to your actions), the first being they may recognise they have acted  in a deplorable manner and immediately change their ways and the second being them seeing your statement about what you refuse to tolerate as a challenge and so doling out more of the same to test your integrity.

We kick and scream and stamp our feet against injustice in that attempt to win, to be seen as right and in our need to place blame, we want others to take responsibility for their behaviour towards us because then we’ll feel vindicated or worse still, justified in our administering of punishment, but none of this will free us, or get us over the second hurdle – unravelling forgiveness. Master Jesus asked us to turn the other cheek. It’s not weak, it’s not running away, it’s simply accepting that every projection of how this failure, wound or slight is affecting you is creating a sharper reflection…

Forgiveness is letting go, moving on, closing the wound without the need for the action to be acknowledged, commiserated, celebrated or the scar in anyway drawn attention to.  The words “I forgive you” will not heal you if they are said with the expectation of gratitude. Let your actions speak and allow the degradation perpetrated by others be a reflection of their integrity not yours… walk away, go in peace.

Principle 3: I AM Human

More later… x

The First Hurdle – Unravelling Detachment

Between God and your heart, between you and home sit 5 seemingly insurmountable obstacles, the first of which is time.

The concept itself is flawed as in heaven time does not exist. Now don’t get yourself into that headspace where you start believing that you live outside of heaven because you dont, anymore than you exist outside of hell… these two opposing constructs are simply manifestations of your state being and your perception of it: heaven is home “Holding The Grail” whereas hell is feeling separate from, locked outside of and finding the cup empty.

It is said that time heals all things, this concept too is flawed. Recognising here and now that you are whole even in your emptiness allows the healing to occur and takes time out of the equation… the saying is therefore only true if you consider that the removal of time (or waiting) heals all things.

You can wait for an eternity to feel better or you can choose to feel better now. You can wait forever to have what you think will make you happy or you can be happy with what you have right now. Time makes no difference to how far from home you are or how far from God/Yourself you are, time is an illusory excuse to not take a chance on embracing all that you are meant to be… which you already are in this moment.

Time opens up a chasm between the wounding and the wounded and the wider the chasm, the more forgetful the wounded becomes… but the wound still exists. Closing the gap by taking time out of the equation completely allows you to face the hurt, pain, emptiness etcetera, head on, recognising that when you sit in the presence of your own vulnerability and don’t try to distract from it, fill it or obscure it in any way, shape or form that it is not your enemy it is your trusted ally, your best friend and your faithful servant. You have allowed time to hold you apart from you because you couldn’t face the intensity of who you really are.

Now you can see the first hurdle – unravelling detachment, don’t allow it to spill the contents of your cup again. Whatever you are suffering from or for, time is not your ally, being present with what’s true for now is.

Principle 2: I AM Detached

More later… x